Delinquent dog.

[theresthepurpleline]

My elderly MIL (83) wanted a dog. We all agreed older, housetrained dog would be ideal. Instead she and my husband went to Dog's Trust and came back with a small, young dog with social anxiety. It messes in the house, won't be left alone for a few minutes without barking, messing etc. The dog is hard to control when walking on the lead - goes mental when it sees another dog or cat. Constant pulling/rearing up on the lead. MIL has spent mega money on personal training for the dog. The problem - when MIL dies we will be landed with the dog. I don't want it. I have come to love the dog but she has too many 'issues'. We also have a cat that the dog goes mental over. Any thoughts very welcome.

I think that in the event if your MIL passing then it might be kinder for the dog to be rehomed via the Dog’s Trust.
They might have a scheme similar to the RSPCA ( I think) where you register the dog with them and they will automatically take the dog after an owner’s death.

When I acquired my latest rescue cats, the charity gave the option of giving "first dibs" if further rehoming was ever needed. I hope it never becomes necessary, but that's exactly what I've done.
Why not contact Dogs' Trust and ask them, or check out their website? (I bet you'll find something on FAQ!)

I think you should go along with your MIL thinking you will have her dog and then when the time comes, if she still has the dog and you still feel the way that you, talk with your DH about rehoming and the charity the dog came from.

Liaise with the Dog's Trust.They may be able to start working with the dog now on his issues.(that were no doubt caused by a human who then dumped the poor soul).

Are you not more concerned with how this must be affecting your MIL than what you will do in a hypothetical situation? Assuming she's in reasonable health, she could easily outlive the dog.

How long has she had the dog? Assuming a while if she's spent 'mega money' on it. Has there been any improvement at all in the dog's behaviour? Do you think she regrets getting it but won't admit to it?

Many rescues ask that animals are returned to them, rather than privately rehomed - it may even be in the rehoming contract. You have a very valid reason (the dog will not be able to live with an existing pet ie your cat) so I would plan that, in the event that your MIL passes away before the dog, it is returned to the Dogs Trust to find a suitable home.
In the meantime, your MIL may be able to get support from the Dogs Trust regarding the behavioural issues.

Hi MsVestibule - MIL is bothered about the mess in the house. She is in very poor health and the dog is only 18months old. She has had the dog for about 3 months. There has been no improvement in behaviour. The dog trainer suggested the dog sleeps on the bed with MIL but dog now messes and wees on that as well. MIL loves the dog and she says she wouldn't be without it.

Ha ha this makes me laugh. Dogs Trust wouldn't even consider my friend who is a long term, experienced dog owner because she works 3 mornings a week (at a vets!!) and has a "child" (one 16 year old). Yet they're OK with an 83 year old owner in poor health!

Sorry to hear your MIL is struggling but yes she must let Dogs Trust know.

The Dogs Trust make you fill in a questionnaire about the household and ask a lot of questions to see if you are suitable for a specific dog. They also also do a house visit. And you don't get a dog to take away on your first visit either.

In my experience, they have been very picky (even too picky, as I don't think they are always right) but I accept that because they don't want the dogs being returned all the time. I have had 4 fabulous dogs from them.

Do you think they told the whole truth about who would be looking after the dog?

You can return a dog to Dogs Trust, they would prefer that than the dog being unhappy or passed on to another inappropriate home.

MIL wanted a dog and she got one with your DH.
Feeling sorry for the dog but it’s not your problem, they chose an animal completely unsuitable.
Who did they think would clean/look after and walk the dog?

Most dogs tend to calm down a bit once they get to 2 years old or so. That said I think you need to get back in touch with the Dogs Trust so they can rehome the dog asap.

It doesn't matter how much mega money she spends on personal training for the dog unless she is capable of carrying it through all the time at home. If she doesn't have the energy or mobility to do that, it's a non-starter. Someone else can only do so much, your MIL is the one who needs to have the relationship with the dog.

If she wants to keep the dog then each undesirable behavior needs to be considered and addressed. Is the dog messing and weeing on the bed because it is anxious/stressed? Or is it weeing and messing on the bed because it can (i.e. because no-one has taken it our for a walk yet so it's tanks are fully loaded)?

If it pulls on the lead, have other types of non-pull harness been tried (you need to find what works for your dog)? Is it getting the chance for careful supervised socialisation with other suitable dogs? Is it getting enough exercise? Is your MIL clued up on techniques specifically for anxious dogs and can she put them into practice (you need to know what triggers your dog and learn to anticipate and avoid those triggers, e.g. changing your route or simply backtracking if you spot another dog or a cat)?

If your MIL is really keen on keeping the dog, then you all need to work together to help the dog feel comfortable and relaxed.

She needs to get in touch with dogs trust again. They do follow up support, all aimed at keeping the dog with the new owner.

When your MIL is unable to care for the dog I agree it should go back to dogs trust. God knows what they were playing at giving her that dog - I wonder if she told the truth about her circumstances? A little elderly dog would have been perfect for her, not this dog, but it sounds like that ship has sailed!

Dogs Trust policy is to take back the dog if the person who rehomed it can no longer care for it. When we got our dog they wanted us to sign a form to the effect that legally the dog remains their's.