To be annoyed by general selfishness and lack of understanding around disability

[Galleyfm]

My son has complex needs. Over the last couple of weeks I've read numerous posts on here and in other groups which highlight a general lack of understanding. Some of them were: comparing the needs of children in pushchairs to wheelchair users, that all children with certain communication issues are violent, kids with sn shouldn't be in mainstream schools as they take up too much funding, kids with sn are faking for extra time in exams, parents are faking for benefits.... I could go on. It got me thinking about some of the experiences I've had in real life where people can't hide behind a keyboard and say what they think with anonymity. Recently I've had a trolley push against my son's car door and been told where the parent and child spaces are as clearly a child can't require a blue badge (even when using a wheelchair), had my son's conditions compared to in severity terms by a child's mum where the child has mild eczema (I have eczema, I know it can be horrible but it isn't comparable), been asked if I want my child with the "normal" children, these are among others. So I guess my question is AIBU to think that society in general is just not understanding and we're all a bit wrapped up in ourselve

*Should have finished with wrapped up in ourselves? I didn't preview

YANBU

Do you want DS with normal children?
Could you define normal please?

The parent and child spaces are over there!
It's great to see that extra wide parking spaces are available to everyone with young children not just those of us who have a disabled child.

A wheelchair is no different to a buggy
Apart from the fact that he will be in it for life

You're just putting it on to get benefits
How about a swap, I'll have the healthy child and you can have a disabled one plus the benefits that come with it

yanbu, the wheelchair on buses threads are a real eye opener to how disablist people are.

@ProudAS, yes I've used some comebacks like these at times other times I just cba or get taken a bit by surprise and don't think quickly enough. All very good points

@Samcro, it just seems to be getting worse not better. There's so many awareness campaigns and designated days etc and even laws. It just shocks me that people can be so ignorant.

I think people are often oblivious or ignorant. I go out with my mum who is a wheelchair user and in shops people often speak to me instead of her- I always say 'What do you think mum, you're the customer'

Other people though are just selfish - like people parking on dropped curbs and refusing to move

The worst thing for us though is the actual environment, footpaths so bad you can't get a wheelchair down them, inaccessible public buildings etc.

There needs to be more education around disability at an early age and more investment in improving accessibility.

Its hardly surprising is it. Most people do generally exist in their own bubbles.

Just reading on mn ive read of various ailments, illnesses, conditions and disabilities ive never even heard of before, let alone know what impacts it has on those peoples lives.

Ill always try to be kind and considerate to everyone but i cant be expected to know precise details about everything. So if you feel people are at least trying give some leeway but i agree at short shrift to those people who actively cause problems.

I think you are right people do live in their own bubble except when they think they can 'get one over' on someone else who they perceive to be benefitting from something they arent/cant. I am a blue badge holder for a 'hidden disability' which causes me to dislocate my hips/knees without warning. As I am in my 30s it is assumed that I am using someone else's badge and the number of people who feel it appropriate to shout/swear/verbally abuse me as a result is unreal, and more often than not it is older people doing the shouting. I have absolutely no problem showing people my badge to prove ownership (it has my photo on it) if they ask politely. Security in my local supermarket basically tell people to mind their own business now. As for the old people shouting at me, my standard retort is 'my condition means I might not live as long as you, but maybe that's not such a bad thing if I dont get as judgemental'

I agree with you OP. My son has ASD. Despite the constant stream of autism awareness/hidden disability posts on social media, we still get subjected to the "he doesn't look autistic" crap. I even had to have an argument with a manager of a restaurant who wouldn't let DS have the key for the disabled loo because "You clearly don't have a disability mate" followed by "You're an adult. Use the gents like every other bloke". Infuriating.