To talk to him again?

[ps1991]

around 5-6 years ago i met this man and we became really good friends, and fwb, he was really there for me emotionally when i needed him and we would spend a lot of time together aside from sex. The sex we had was really good, and we had a lot of trust in each other so could experiment and try new things.

However, 4 years ago I met my now husband and he knows about the previous guy, and there was like a month of overlap between continuing with the previous guy, but my husband knew about it every time. Since then i have only really spoken to the previous guy once or twice but it has quickly spiraled into talking about what we used to do, not saying we still want it but more reminiscing, so i quickly stopped talking to him again.

It's been a few years since i spoke to him but i'm finding that more and more i'm wanting to meet him again, as friends as we used to be but i'm worried about mentioning it to my husband in case he thinks i'm up to something.

He was a mutual friend of my husband and i before we met so my husband knew him well too before any of this.

wibu to meet up with him and expect my DH to be okay with it?

Bad idea. How would you feel if your DH wanted to meet up with his ex FwB? Especially given you've already stated that you cant help but reminisce with him

Bad idea as well you know.

You sound more emotionally attached to him that you do your husband. Who kept it on a fwb type relationship because it comes across as you always wanted more and this is unfinished business for you
If I were your husband I would find it very difficult

I wouldn't like it if my husband wanted to meet up with a previous, long term FWB person. I also wouldn't like them regularly contacting each other to reminisce about the great times either

If you had such a good relationship, why was it just a fwb one?

He wasn’t a FWB. He was a relationship, at least you thought of him that way.

Ordinarily I'm all for mixed gender friendships, but you've already admitted that all you two can talk about are the times you were having sex. That's not a healthy basis for a platonic friendship and your husband would have every right to be upset about it.

Sorry OP, you need to move on from this man.

@Nanny0gg There is quite a big age gap between us, and we weren't and aren't in the same stages of life, so we never wanted a relationship with each other

While I’m guessing it’s a system error, 103% saying YABU has to be a record

he was really there for me emotionally when i needed him and we would spend a lot of time together aside from sex

You were in a relationship

all sounds very iffy to me, if you are thinking like this. ukyabu yet you have to ask on here.
i feel sorry for your dh, and hope you don't have dc if the shit hits the fan.

Have some respect for your husband!
It sounds like you want an emotional affair. You're married and we're 'reminiscing' with an old flame about the sex you used to have. That's quite grim actually.

Totally ridiculous and selfish

If you were FWB you wouldn't be bothered about the emotional side of things.

You'd basically be asking your husband to be ok with an emotional affair at the very least