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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell you about my secret fantasy life?

25 replies

MistyMoors20 · 09/01/2020 21:32

It all starts with a white stone farmhouse nestled in the crook of the beautiful misty moors. Semi-isolated, I’m at least half a mile from my nearest neighbour and the surrounding area is a mix of agricultural land bordered by forests. The hills are green and lush and swarming with deer, badgers and fox.

In the mornings the mist rolls over the hills and surrounds the house but is quickly replaced by warm sunshine. I live in the house alone with my beloved dogs – a motley crew of silly, sweet natured greys who all happen to have excellent recall (I did say it was a fantasy) to the extent that they roam free off the lead and rarely leave my side. Our home is old, large, creaky and comfortable with flagstone floors, stone fireplaces and a French-style kitchen, at the centre of which is a huge wooden table scratched and marked with wax. The room is edged with herb benches, a pantry and open shelves. There is no mess or clutter in the house but it’s not polished or over-decorated. It is clean and characterful without being twee and everything in it has meaning or purpose. At the back of the house is a south-facing terrace that traps the sun all day, with steps leading down into a walled garden. When you stand on the terrace you can see across the moors for miles and miles and watch wild ponies pass by on the hills. Ivy climbs the outside walls and there is a fire-pit on which I cook my food most evenings – simple dishes like baked potato cooked on the embers in foil with crushed garlic and roasted broccoli.

In my fantasy there is no corporate job. The house is paid for and my outgoings are small. I make a living as a wildlife photographer and artist. Occasionally I make wildflower wreaths with the foliage and flowers from my garden and I leave them in the local village next to an honesty box. Living in such a rural area the local trust also pay to report on the state of the local wildlife, changes in behaviour patterns, population, migration etc. In my fantasy I am an expert on the local animals but I do each of these jobs for sheer love and pleasure, and am accountable to no one. My time is my own.

I am a slightly fitter, healthier version of myself. I have strong, toned limbs born from striding across the moors with my dogs every day, rosy cheeks from the crisp air and soft brown freckles from the Winter sun. I never give my weight or appearance much thought and rarely wear make-up. I never feel self-conscious. I don’t really follow fashion and instead I have a small wardrobe of high-quality, well-made pieces. I keep the same clothes for years and darn the patches when they eventually wear though. I wash my clothes with a drop of essential oils.

My fantasy life gives me all the solitude and independence I need but when I crave human company I can rely on one of my many local friends, a mix of couples and individuals of all ages, genders and backgrounds. I have a strong social circle made up of interesting people from all walks of life. We support and encourage one another, we tease and cajole, we help with the boring and the practical. We often meet at someone’s house for dinner or share a bottle of wine in the garden. Some nights we are talkative and lively, playing silly games and telling stories. Other nights we sit in companionable silence and watch the sunset. We are close enough to feel like family, with no pressures or expectations of one another. In this circle everyone is valued. You don’t need to be the most beautiful, most creative, most intelligent or tell the wittiest jokes.

I go to bed tired from my active, life outdoors and sleep well in soft, linen sheets sprayed with lavender. Sometimes before bed I sit in my snug orangery at the front of the house with the heater on, sipping a warm brandy with the dogs dozing around me. The glasshouse is old and the panes are tinged green with moss. I light a candle and keep a telescope to watch the stars with, as the skies on the moors are so dark and clear, or I listen to the radio.

Oddly, in the fantasy there is no husband! I’m still trying to figure out that one, as I’m actually quite fond of mine…

This is the life I escape to in my head every day whilst walking the dogs. Am I a fool to think one day I might create this for myself?

Does anyone else feel like sharing their fantasy life?

OP posts:
MolyHolyGuacamole · 09/01/2020 21:34

Mine simple. I have lots of money and don't have to work.

ExpectingToFly · 09/01/2020 21:37

That sounds like heaven 🥰🥰

Jenala · 09/01/2020 21:37

Oh OP, what a beautiful picture you've painted Smile

BackOnceAgainWithATinselHalo · 09/01/2020 21:39

Sounds lovely, but where’s the shagging on the rug in front of the fire Wink ?

GlitteryGracie · 09/01/2020 21:41

I'm fabulously wealthy, have a gorgeous house that other people envy. It has lots of bedrooms and a pool so I can invite my friends for the weekend. It's in a small, pretty village with lots of green surrounding it. I have a donkey sanctuary in my back garden. I'm an effortless size ten and wake up each morning full of energy and zest for life.
I don't work, but spend my days searching for individuals and small causes that I can give money to anonymously (because I have so much) I do things like posing as a stranger in need of help, then give £10,000 to every person who goes out of their way to help me.

Howmanysleepsnow · 09/01/2020 21:44

I didn’t have one, but now I’d like to be one of the friends in yours. I’d live a mile or 2 away in similar isolation, with dogs a horse and a cat. I’d write novels and have an open fire and bring in copious flowers from my beautiful garden which didn’t ever require weeding.

Usernamesarenotmyforte · 09/01/2020 21:52

YADNBU simply because your companions of choice are sighthounds. I write this with my whippet x iggy sitting on my feet. You’re delusional about the recall though... even fantasy can’t fix that when there are squirrels about.

TendsToHappen · 09/01/2020 22:00

Hmmm.... sounds lovely but isn’t there a guy who lives in his own in a small house a couple of miles away in the woods..... he’s not exactly part of the friendship group, but everyone knows him. He cuts wood for your fire in the winter months and brings you wild raspberries in summer. He’s tall, with muscles from hard physical work. His hair is long but clean and he keeps it tied back. Every now and then, when he is dropping you some wood or some wild herbs, you catch each other’s eye in the kitchen and he pushes you up against the work surface and......

Legoandloldolls · 09/01/2020 22:01

Sounds amazing. In my fantasy my re life extension wouldn't need the 3k new bathroom tiling ripped out and done again.....

Normally my fantasy life is having a French style flat over a French style Cafe on the edge of Hyde park but in a town where theres hardly any traffic and not loads of people. I have two massive French doors onto two little balconies in my living room with long white nets that blow into the room. There is a old fireplace in the high ceiling. i sit by the balcony at night drinking soup listening to the comings and goings in the cafe. Some times I sit on the balcony at night and chat across to my neighbour Chris Pratt would do 🤣 living roo. is edwardian style and I'm restoring the entire flat.

Upstairs I have two loft rooms with a small kitchenette and bathroom. I can climb onto the roof. My bedroom is the same but with only one window. My bed is covered with a lovely handmade patchwork quilt. The bathroom is old Victorian style and original. I have one little dog.

I also have access to two bed stone cottage on the coast of rural Scotland but I can drive there in four hours or fly. I go to this place every night in my mind when I want to sleep. Its very comforting and over the years it is also quite real in way to me. I have even done some of up over time. Maybe I'm a bit mad?

In reality I have a dh and for kids with a modern house being extended.

TigerOnATrain · 09/01/2020 22:03

@MistyMoors20

Lovely. Smile

You have creative writing skills by the way. Don't waste them. Smile

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 09/01/2020 22:06

That’s lovely. Beautifully written too. How long have you been inhabiting this fantasy world?

Mine isn’t as complex or multi layered as yours.

I have a kitchen with copper pans. And a book lined study. There is a huge roll topped bathtub. The location is coastal and I’m a professional writer.

I spend my days reading, writing and baking. And playing the piano to a much higher standard than I really do.

I keep chickens and ducks. And have dogs. And cats. Guinean pigs and rats. My husband and children still feature. But weirdly as I know this is my fantasy not theirs I don’t like to dwell on them being in it as it’s not fair on them (that is weird I know).

I sail a little dinghy. And scuba dive. I’ve let my long thick hair grey naturally. I wear natural fibres; long skirts, cotton shirts and hand knits (actually I wear, all the time, what my weekend wear is presently). I still collect pretty china and vintage costume jewellery. Other than that, and my books, my home is largely free of clutter.

I’m learning a language - Italian. I sing in the local
Village choir.

Each night I watch the sun set over the sea.

OhTheRoses · 09/01/2020 22:07

Small flat, white carpets, classical music, live alone and do what I want when I want Grin

Dollymixture22 · 09/01/2020 22:09

In mine I am independently wealthy. I live in a much smaller house than I can afford, a pretty period property within walking distance of a small town.

I have a beautiful garden that I potter around in, and a king Charles spaniel who I walk twice a day.

I don’t really socialise much with anyone, I am a happy hermit. I read a lot and cook. In the winter I snuggle up by an open fire.

I go to bed early and sleep well. I don’t have any deadlines, or pressure, or guilt or anxiety.

Booberella9 · 09/01/2020 22:13

I really hope everyone here is bringing elements of these into their real life and not waiting for permission or money or time..

I highly recommend a pine scented candle to evoke mountainside living. You can also get videos of sun sets over beaches on Youtube...

Majorcollywobble · 09/01/2020 22:17

In your fantasy there’s no husband but surely you’ll need some staff ?

TheJoxter · 09/01/2020 22:19

My fantasy home is very similar to yours OP, particularly the kitchen. Mine has a large, clear lawn ending in an orchard, with a stream running through it which leads to a pond with ducks and geese. There’s a herb garden (for cooking but also medicinal) near the house and vegetable patches running the length of one side. I live there with my husband and two kids (who are real but better behaved in this fantasy life) and an impeccably behaved wolfhound. I bake fresh bread and cakes and biscuits every Sunday and sew and mend all our clothes myself.

Sarahlou63 · 09/01/2020 22:21

Oi! You've nicked my actual life - bugger off and get your own!

(Actually, I don't darn - if I can't staple it, glue it or do something easy with baler twine it's fucked out).

CynsterBitch · 09/01/2020 22:21

Small farm in the hills on the Ligurian coast, from my windows I can see nothing but sea, olive groves and wine ranks. I’m a full time writer, i still get plenty of time to see my own clothes. Dh runs his business from our house but is always done with work by 4pm. Our evenings are spent enjoying local wine and food together, hiking on the weekends, going fishing to catch our dinner

Not sure DH would be too keen on the idea though

Ginger1982 · 09/01/2020 22:26

OP, sounds wonderful, but also the setting for an ITV murder mystery drama! 😆

Ginger1982 · 09/01/2020 22:27

ITV-esque I mean!

Legoandloldolls · 09/01/2020 22:27

I do have elements of my fantasy life being brought into real life. My new extension has a proper Victorian cloakroom with victorian tiles
high cystern and a reclaimed sink. Sadly Chris Pratt doesn't live next door

Winecheesesleep · 09/01/2020 22:31

That's so lovely OP but I think combining it with @TendsToHappen's addition is even better Wink

I don't have this kind of fantasy life actually, I might start considering it now.

RickOShay · 09/01/2020 22:33

Sounds so inviting.

Mine used to be living in Rio de Janerio Grin
Now I’m leaning more towards a Croft in the West coast of Scotland, with lots of dogs and a hot tub Grin

Candlecandle · 09/01/2020 22:50

Loved reading this! Also I would def include @TendsToHappen 's addition 😁.

It's very like my own one in many ways. But I would have my own small pottery studio in a cosy stone outbuilding. - prob with a small open fire- Where I could make pots all day if I wanted (I would sell these things to support my modest lifestyle).

I am really getting into minimalism and simple living - (brings so much happiness!) so it would be a very simple, pretty small house for me. Like you say, no clutter. Just what I need or really love. Please keep writing!

ScarlettBlaize · 09/01/2020 22:55

In my fantasy life I live somewhere WARM where it doesn't rain all the sodding time & it doesn't get dark at 4pm

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