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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you go on holiday without your kids?

25 replies

Popc0rn · 09/01/2020 19:12

Just wondering what other people's thought are on this, would you go on holiday (minimum of a week long) and choose not to take your young (aged less than 10) children with you? Children would be looked after by someone they are very close to.

YABU = No, I wouldn't go on holiday without my children.

YANBU = Yes, I would go on holiday without my children.

OP posts:
Purpleartichoke · 09/01/2020 19:13

Our limit is a weekend

MrsBrentford · 09/01/2020 19:15

Have done it several times.

Kids were with their father though and other times my mum.

Lifeover · 09/01/2020 19:15

Only for one night

fluckityfluckfluck · 09/01/2020 19:15

Hell yes

Goodnightjude1 · 09/01/2020 19:17

We’ve been away a few times now the DC are all over 10. They are quite happy having my parents here for a week. They see it as a treat and enjoy the activities they do with them.
We always have a family holiday that we all enjoy but once or twice a year we like to go somewhere to explore and we know it’s not necessarily something the DC would enjoy.
If any of them weren’t happy with it or my parents weren’t happy to come and stay, we obviously wouldn’t go but so far, it’s never been an issue!

Pyjamaface · 09/01/2020 19:19

YANBU

I've done it several times leaving DS with his Dad. Neither of them like sun/heat or wandering about shopping so I've been away to hot places with friends. No regrets

MuchTooTired · 09/01/2020 19:21

My DTs are 2, I’ve been away twice in that time. A long weekend when they were 12 weeks, and a week just after they’d turned 1. They’re happy being left (barely noticed we’d gone!) and they’re very well looked after by family who are happy to, so I don’t have a problem with it personally.

Roselilly36 · 09/01/2020 19:24

I wouldn’t tbh. We didn’t go away until our children were teens, with MIL looking after them. Odd night away while they were younger but never abroad.

Bibijayne · 09/01/2020 19:27

Not done an overnight away with our 16 month old yet. I enjoy family holidays! I could see that a long weekend sans child might be fun in a couple.of years - but not a week or more. Also, with only so much A/L I'd feel pretty awful having a week or two-week holiday if my child then didn't get a holiday IYSIM?

Camomila · 09/01/2020 19:29

I'd go for a weekend - 2/3 nights at this age and leave DS with my parents or DH, he's nearly 4. I'd maybe go for a week in late primary age for fun but I'd do it earlier for work or family (eg, visiting ill relative) reasons.

eachbeach · 09/01/2020 19:30

I think this one very much depends what on your personal situation. I would love to do this, and think it would be great for mine and DH's mental health and relationship BUT we don't have relatives who are capable of looking after them for that long (or even a night). We also have limited holiday so need to use our time off to cover school holidays and chicks at absences.

I usually get 1-2 nights away once or twice a year with girlfriends. DH is usually away with work a couple of times a quarter and also tries to get a weekend away.

We know a couple who as a rule each of them goes away once every 6 months. I was struck that they usually go away on their own, as I think that's a lovely idea. Whilst weekends with mates are lovely they aren't relaxing !

MrsBrentford · 09/01/2020 19:31

I used to go and stay with my gran as a kid. Best days of my childhood 👍🏻

annualleavepurchase · 09/01/2020 19:32

No.

1 or 2 nights ok but not an actual holiday. That's family time.

Selfsettling3 · 09/01/2020 19:32

A few year ago we were staying on an island outside of Dubrovnik and there was a couple who were there for 4 days. A holiday a plane right, coach transfer and then boat transfer for only 4 nights seemed silly to us. Now I have children I totally get why they did it. My children are 3 yrs and a baby and I can’t imagine feeling them yet but I can certainly see the appeal.

bellsbuss · 09/01/2020 19:35

We go abroad for 5 days every year just the 2 of us and also have weekend breaks. We love our children but we are still a couple.

Spacedust1 · 09/01/2020 19:35

I would go away if they were staying with their other parent but if they needed to stay with anyone else then I would only go for 2 or possibly 3 nights at the most. After 10 years old I would go for a week but below that, I don't think mine would be ready....

BubblesBuddy · 09/01/2020 19:37

We had no one to leave them with. They went to board at school when they were 11 and then we did go away. I would not compromise their holidays for my own though. Family holidays came first in my thoughts.

If we had relatives to help earlier. We would have had weekends away - definitely.

aroundtheworldyet · 09/01/2020 19:38

I would think it’s very healthy for a relationship
The people I know that are still together after kids have left home. ALWAYS did things on their own, including breaks away.

MrsBrentford · 09/01/2020 19:38

What exactly do people think is going to happen if they leave their children with their grandparents (for example) for a week?

It’s a perfectly normal thing to do Hmm

SittingwithPippa · 09/01/2020 19:39

Mine are older but we did a couple of weeks, once when they were 6 and 8 and another two years later. Long haul to un child friendly places.
My DPs stayed in our house.
It was bliss and everyone was happy.

Amanduh · 09/01/2020 19:41

God no. Weekend yes, but full week or more no way.

Mummyshark2018 · 09/01/2020 19:44

Yes I would if it was a special occasion, otherwise a long weekend would be my max, but generally I miss my dc like hell after a few days so couldn't do it. Dh works always 2 weeks per month so I'm sure he wouldn't give it a second thought.

annualleavepurchase · 09/01/2020 19:45

*What exactly do people think is going to happen if they leave their children with their grandparents (for example) for a week?

It’s a perfectly normal thing to do*

They might miss their children and their children might miss them.

Are you saying it's abnormal to not leave your children for a week? Surely everyone's 'normal' is different?

MrsDilligaf · 09/01/2020 19:45

DD is coming up 4, and shes stayed with my parents three or four times while DH and I have had a weekend away.

We also go away individually with groups of friends for 3 or 4 nights once a year or so, and we have done since she was tiny.

I think I could manage a holiday for a week, much longer and I think I would feel quite guilty.

But...do what you feels right for you and your family, there's no right or wrong.

aSofaNearYou · 09/01/2020 21:15

Before they're at least 5 I'd be more likely to go without them than with, tbh. And after that I'd go without them if I wanted to go anywhere hot or just not a child friendly place.

My parents went to Africa twice without me when I was a child.

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