are we being selfish??

10 replies

froozykins · 28/08/2007 21:56

the other day my DH told MIL we were only going to have one child, i don't think i could face morning sickness again and we also want to put our child through private education.
MIL gave DH a right telling off saying it was selfish only wanting one, is it selfish to want to do the very best for your child? we could no way afford two or three lots of school fees.

OP posts:

fawkeoff · 28/08/2007 21:59

she should keep her feckin nose out tbh, she wont have the financial and emotional worries of having another child.its your life and if you only want one then thats your choice.I by the way have 2 dc but am all for "own choices"

EmsMum · 28/08/2007 22:01

Nope. Its your choice.

Some people think that having more than one or 2 max children is 'selfish' cos of overpopulation (not my opinion, just quoting!) You can't please everyone!

crokky · 28/08/2007 22:04

froozykins - it is absolutely your decision and MIL must accept this.

LiliAnjelika · 28/08/2007 22:05

Not selfish at all. Though I suppose you might change your mind one day, so it's as well to keep an open mind.

ShinyHappySchmooo · 28/08/2007 22:10

But if it's just about private schooling.. you could have another and put them into a good state school. Children can and do well in them.

LowFat · 28/08/2007 22:10

It's all your choice.
We have 2 DC's as I am an only child and DF died when I was 6, DM died when I was 29, so I wanted to ensure my children would always have each other to turn to in the very worst of times. DH is one of two and has always wanted 2.

Like that was our choice, this is yours - tell MIL unless she is going to pay for another DC and nurse you through PG then bugger off!

margosbeenplayingwithmynoonoo · 28/08/2007 22:11

It's your choice - not MILs

margosbeenplayingwithmynoonoo · 28/08/2007 22:12

Low Fat - is that you? We're still missing you y'know?

LowFat · 28/08/2007 22:16

Hello Margo - will pop on over for a chat now!

MsHighwater · 28/08/2007 22:30

People do have strong ideas about how many children is the right number. We have just one (together; DH has 2 grown up DDs from 1st marriage) and won't have another - though for different reasons. I occasionally have pangs of worry that our DD might be lonely not having a sibling to play with (or fight with...)

A relative of mine came up to us not long after she was born and told us we should definitely not have only one child - she was an only child and I think she might have been lonely at times when she was young. It was a bit awkward cos we didn't want to go into our reasons in a public place (it was at the wake after a family funeral) so we just smiled and said nothing.

I'd agree with the comment about private schooling. A good state school will allow any child to achieve their potential. No matter how good the private school, it will never make any child exceed theirs.

Flip