Friends/family forgetting my Birthday

[crappybirthday]

Bit of a self-pity post.
I know I probably should just have a lovely day, do what I want etc. But it still hurts that so many of the people who care just forget my birthday.
A couple are the type to remind you multiple times of their SOs and family birthdays.
I always make sure that everyone receive a card/present in good time, and a visit if that's possible.
I feel that I'm last on most people's lists usually (maintaining friendships, visiting family) and this just confirms it.

I don't really want to say anything IRL as I think I'll sound grabby or diva-ish. I don't want big surprises or gestures, a card or just a text maybe! Maybe stop making an effort with those who don't reciprocate?

Im tired of making excuses - "oh well, it's right after Christmas/new year everyone's been busy," AIBU to think it's not that hard to send a card or message, and if you care about someone, you would?

A year or two ago I would have said YANBU. But these days I honestly think people just don't send cards any more! That's my experience anyway.

Is there not a correlation between those who remind everyone that it’s about to be their birthday or organise a celebration and those whose birthdays get celebrated? Whereas if you just sit in the background and wait for the nice messages and cards to arrive, you’ll end up disappointed.

I think you can expect your birthday to be remembered by your partner, parents, possibly siblings if you’re close and a couple of best friends (and if they’re forgetting then that’s shit and you need to tell them that it’s hurtful they aren’t making any effort.) Everyone else, I think you really do have to put reminders out and tell people you’ll be having a party or drinks and they’re welcome to come. I have dozens of friends and I really can’t keep track of that many birthdays without a bit of prompting.

It’s really not that hard to send a text, I agree with you. Just don’t bother with them in return they’ll soon learn! Happy birthday OP

I agree, a text would be fine, but people just don't bother anymore.

YANBU
This Birthday around Christmas thing really sucks . Especially as you remember all their special days . I think you should scale down radically on what you give . They might get the hint if you just send a jokey card which mentions no present this year . Only other thing you can do is to announce your intention to having an official birthday in the summer as per HM the Queen ! Works for her ..... x

I do get that it's tough to keep track, but these are close family and friends who have been in my life for over a decade (excluding DH who has remembered - this year 😂)

My birthday is just before Xmas and my Dad, sister, MIL actually all of DHs family and my BF didn’t send a text or acknowledge it. It was a milestone one too so stung a bit. When my DH mentioned it in conversation to his mum she said apparently I don’t talk about my birthday enough so everyone forgets. I never think to bring it up like “it’s my birthday in a week and I am doing...” but thinking about it that’s how I remember most people’s birthdays that I don’t have in my diary, when they chat about it. Next year I am going to talk about nothing but my birthday for wat least six weeks before

I do get that it's tough to keep track
Really? How hard can it be to put a date into the calendar in your phone/laptop and set a reminder for a week before?

@Unicornhamster

My birthday is just before Xmas and my Dad, sister, MIL actually all of DHs family and my BF didn’t send a text or acknowledge it. It was a milestone one too so stung a bit.
Bloody hell. How did you manage to surround yourself with such inconsiderate family? Do you buy a card/present for your dad and sis?

Do your parents not even remember, I would certainly expect them to

Mine is Boxing Day. My mother forgot last year and MIL forgot this year. It really is upsetting even though I’m not a child anymore.

Just give in return what you got.
If someone texts, you do too.
If someone ignores, so do you.

I did this years ago with Christmas cards.

Happy birthday, PP 😀 🎉

OP

Happy birthday OP, and YANBU by the way

Yanbu. Mine is NYE. All of my colleagues forgot mine. I made sure they all had something for their bdays last year. I was actually quite hurt.
But it’s ok, now I no not to be so bothered about theirs going forward ☺️

*know...(is it me or does MN correct the spelling incorrectly?!)

@ohprettybaby

To be honest my dad has always been a bit feckless my parents were only 15 when they had me so they have been ‘reliving their youth’ since I was about 18... I was 30 in December.
My sister I have no idea, she does have a lot going on and I have spoken to her loads since. I just haven’t mentioned it because she would be gutted.
Thankfully DH made it very special.

I meant I understand some people find it hard. The only time I forgot one was SIL as I had just miscarried and was a bit everywhere at that time.

Thank you for the birthday wishes! I think going forward I'll send what's received