LAUNDRY ADVICE

[moroni28]

Hi,

I'm just on here for some advice, my dear wife and I have been married a number 16 years and as you grow together you sometimes take on your partners preferences and sometime forget what your normal was. I have worked a full time Job since married and my wife has been a stay at home mum for the past ten years. My current Job role is quite demanding but I also get to work from home. I do my fair share of the house cleaning and do all the laundry except for the ironing. This is the point I need advice with. My DW throws EVERYTHING in the washing, we have 4 children and I understand if they have got dirty or food down them it go's in the wash, but if its clean and just worn once she has to have it washed. I have even occasionally pulled items out of the laundry basket that has only been tried on and not put back in the wardrobe. Towels are another one, growing up I could use a Towel at least two times before washing, we have heated towel racks and every time I put the towels back on the heater after one use she puts it in the washing pile, no one can use a towel more than once. I just feel overwhelmed with the piles that constantly build up. Last year I bought two 9kg washing machines and two 10kg dryers for the laundry room. Every time I walk past the laundry room and see the machines have stopped I put the next load on. The biggest problem is I just don't have time to do the Ironing and DW insists that everything be ironed before going away, we constantly have a huge pile of ironing in the lounge, I am contemplating getting an ironing lady but I do feel a little resentment in this, my wife has a lot more social time than I have and I just need to know am I being unreasonable, is this normal with other families.

Is it really normal and hygienic to dry your face on a towel that's potentially dried someone else's arse?!

No it’s grim. and don’t listen to anyone who tells you otherwise!

Sort through the ironing pile and put things on hangers that normally get hung up. Shake out and then fold up anything that goes in a drawer and then put it all away. Iron shirts if required but just get rid of it to wherever it belongs. If she wants it ironed she can do it herself.

@WireBrushAndDettolMaam I'm glad I'm not alone in thinking so. The thought makes me cringe!

If she wants that kind of washing done then she does it.
No brainer OP.
Tell her you are not doing the washing any more.
You don't agree that towels need doing after one use.
You don't agree that garments need washing after one use.
YOU are not going to keep contributing to global warming so if she wants to, then she can.
You will do your washing and she can sort her own and the kids.
With a tumble dryer, if the clothes are taken out immediately and hung up or folded properly then you shouldn't need to iron most things.
I honestly couldn't tell you the last time I used an iron.
What a fucking waste of my time - and yours OP.
Fuck it!
Stop doing it!

I only wash my face if I'm washing my hair and have a hair towel that will dry face and hair. The 4 of us have a towel each so just use our own until it needs washing. Definitely gets more than 1 use.

Why can't people who don't like using other people's towels have their own.
I live a house with my DD and her BF.
She has her own set (pale blue)
He has his own set (red)
I have mine (turquoise)
Job done!!!!
Buy some good towels and only use your own.
You will save a bloody fortune on electricity, washing powder, labour, etc....

She throws towels in the laundry basket after ONE use?!? Even hotels these days don’t do that anymore.

What does she do all day? Don't tell me looking after dc because barring special needs or illness nobody needs that much looking after. She's crackers.

@hellsbellsmelons @dementedpixie ** you're both right, if we all had our own colours I'd use more than once. But we'd need two sets per person of bath towel and bath sheet, would cost a fortune to set up. I know I'd save money in the long run with less washing and drying but it's a big initial outlay.

@maloofhoof - why 2 sets each?
Do you not have a tumble dryer? If not then that's perfectly understandable.

Or just have one other clean spare set so when one of you needs to have yours washed you use the spare set.

@hellsbellsmelons yes we have a dryer. Erm I don't know, I guess it's like bedding, I've always had a spare set for each bedroom. But you're probably right in that one set each would be enough.

I dont have a tumble dryer. Towels dry overnight over the bannister

I lose my shit at my teens for doing this.
It’s wasteful and pointless and increases your workload unnecessarily.

I think that your wife may have an OCD problem by the sound of it. You simply don't need to wash stuff to this extent, it's waste of time,and electrical energy. Also,a lot of people don't iron that much now, as modern fabrics don't need this, especially after being tumble dried.

I am not sure how you can attempt to get your wife to change her views though,if she gets annoyed with you trying to change things,

Change is possible, so good luck with this.

Can people stop saying OCD just because she wants to wash something after one use! that is not a disorder. It’s far more likely to be the result of years of laundry products being shoved down our throats on TV telling us all the germs we have in our clothes as well as the recent trends for hinching and all the other youtubers who are constantly showing us new cleaning and laundry “hacks” combined with the relative ease with with we can do laundry nowadays. OCD is an actual diagnosable disorder that encompasses a huge spectrum of behaviours. Washing towels after one use would get you nowhere near a diagnosis.

Just do what is reasonable, washing wise and buy clean washing basket(s) / bin(s) which you can keep in the bedrooms. I'd say one load a day should suffice. She'll work it out when the washing and ironing piles up.

OP - Finding some of this useful guys. Just to clarify we don't even use a towel twice, just once! If I hang mine up after a shower it finds its way into the laundry before the next day. Don't get me wrong DW does all the school runs and is not sat around all day. I just feel this is more work than necessary. Our lounge is constantly like this, imgur.com/a/DaOrbEW When she does the ironing its back like this within days. I fold what I can as soon as it comes out of the dryer and she puts these away. If I don't do it I know they will just pile up in the laundry room and after a few days you can't even get to the washing machines. I put this laundry room together to encourage DW imgur.com/a/yQAt1sx but still found doing the washing and drying easier for me as I can keep on top of it. The constant iron pile in the lounge is really annoying though.

The more you do the washing, the less she does it, the less understanding she will have of what a momentous task it is if things are just thrown in the wash when they are clean. Some people only really truly understand some things after having experience. She sounds like she needs to experience the error in throwing clean stuff in the wash. So you will have to step back a bit on the 'magic washing genie' role. Things will have to pile up, items she wanted to wear possibly left unwashed until she actually starts to take more responsibility in this area. Having a place to put clean unironed clothes straight from the wash away neatly will take some off of the strain.

As I have said, do what is reasonable. Put a load of washing in and make sure you have equal leisure time. Don't put too many loads in because then there will be too much of an ironing pile. It is better for dirty washing to pile up because she might realise her error and fish about for the least dirty stuff to wear. Prioritise what is washed first.

Few things. A you have too much money if you have two washing machines and dryers and spending bucket loads on electricity.
Your very environmentally irresponsible but im sure Greta will tell you!
You work full time how have yiu the time to do it but your sahw doesnt- tell her to do it or do her fair share.
Get rid of one washer and one dryer!
Lastly i dont actually think your post is genuine!

If anyone wants anything ironed in this house they have to do it themselves...hence I can't remember the last time the iron was used. With judicious hanging and folding, even things like linen dresses come out ok. And no-one in their right mind irons towels or underwear (not trying to be goady as I know it makes some people happy to do this, I just cannot envisage being that person!)
People who are lazy about tidying up tend to be the ones who throw everything in the wash rather than putting it away. The 'laundry chief' here (me) is usually judicious about sussing out 'clean' items and putting them back rather than washing them!
I can honestly say I've never heard of anyone needing more than one washing machine . Do you have so many children you live in a shoe??
Apart from the waste of time involved here, what about the waste and cost of electricity, water and detergents in regard to the environment?

Our towels are washed about every 4 to 5 days. And I wouldn't dream of washing something that I had only tried on. You are doing far too much washing.

That ironing on the sofa would kill me! Another one here for different colour towels for each person (this solved our teenagers bickering over who had used them).
I think you have inadvertently made the problem worse by buying more machines. Make some excuse like a safety recall or breakdown and get rid of one of each!
Have you discussed this issue with your wife, and with what success? Would she agree to work together to reduce the laundry on the sofa issue, for example by agreeing a time to take out dry clothes from the dryer just as it finishes so they can be folded up and don't need ironing? If not you may have to consider something dramatic - maybe put it all on your bed and sleep on the sofa to make a point! Or invite some family/friends over to surprise her so she doesn't have time to put it away! Or let the family run out of clean towels?