Are my feelings unreasonable?

[bigbabies]

My husband walked out. We were together 18 years,three kids , the lot.
He felt undermined, nagged and my attitude stank.
I felt unsupported, used, pestered and unloved.
He actually did not really
Communicate with me or the kids.
He was absent physically and emotionally and got angry in a heartbeat.
He was shouty and aggressive towards the kids but yet O stayed, walked on egg shells
And tried to keep everything Going.
I also Work full time and My eldest has autism.
He was out of the house for 12-14 hours perday. Did not really do anything around the house and certainly notwith kids. Maybe he was trying to avoid family
Life.
He seemed unable to do anything for himself... fill a form, do the shopping, organise a meeting . As people say on here, he was a man child. Like a fool, I literally did everything to keep the peace and the show going. I funded his post grads and tolerated his moods when he was studying, literally driving the kids around the village to give him
Peace, when they were toddlers.
So then after he announced that he didn't love me Anymore , I found out that not only had he met someone but was in a relationship with her. This was a month after his big announcement . I expect that this is a lie but can never be sure.
I felt resentment and angry and humiliated but now O feel nothing!
Three months on and I feel nothing but perhaps a relief?
Is this normal? After everything we've been through? Not to
Give a shit? I'm
Worried in case I'm in denial. I love being on my own with my kids. I can handle when they are with him and emcourage their relationship .
He was trying to be friends and buddy buddy but I told him that I can't be that friend right now. I know he feels
Guilt and shame almost
Like he didn't
Realise the repercussions and consequences of his decision.
Is it awful that I almost feel sorry for him? What the hell is wrong with me? Where do we go
From here ?

Anyone.? I feel like I have a big crash coming
Because I don't think I should feel like this thanks

Kinda sounded like you were coexisting together and didn't actually much of a relationship.

I'd expect you to feel relief! Onwards upwards. Find what makes you happy and chase it.

And get some D

xxx

*didnt actually have

You may be a bit in denial. That's OK and a normal emotional reaction in these circumstances. If that's the case, you may start feeling anger or hurt later on.

Or - you may genuinely be feeling relief! It sounds like things will be much easier for you at home without having to carry this waste of space. Embrace it OP! Don't waste time feeling sorry for him. Enjoy having more control over your life and not having to pander to his whims.

as your life has been rubbish for such a long time, I wouldn't expect this to make you suddenly feel awful. (it's already awful and you are used to it). it's not like your life was amazing and then a bombshell hit you. in that case I'd expect you to be reeling and shocked and upset. But in your circumstances, feeling a bit relieved, and probably still very numb about everything is what I'd expect. it didn't suddenly go bad for you, so you get less of a shock i suppose.

there is no right or wrong way to feel or react.

Thank you so
Much for
Your replies. I was worried that I was in the middle
Of some mental health crisis because I was so calm after the initial
Anger and sadness.
I feel so light and positive and stress free. I love the freedom of buying what I want, no moods, kids happy and
Not rejected. He is really stepping up as a father and is being generous in his support... for now.
I would
Rather eat
T
Own foot than ever let a man into my life again. I've lost all faith but maybe that will change .
I do feel
Sad for him. He is broke amd prpbably. Doesn't
Know what to do with himself.

Oh and he is really angry with me that people know that he left me, possibly for another woman and that I went to my GP (family friend) to organise aw an sti test...seems to be his biggest issue .people knowing what has truly happened .

I'm not surprised you feel relieved, you were dealing with so much crap from someone who wasn't treating you right and you are now free of that.

Enjoy your life OP!

I don't feel like it's unreasonable.
I left my husband about a year ago (so other way around but years of trust issues, emotional abuse, things like hidden cameras in house, emotional affairs) and after the initial wobbles and worrying I was doing the right thing I was (and still am) just full of relief and happiness and calmness, less anxiety than I've ever had, I enjoy being with my children so much more now too.

I worried for white a while I was in denial, but I don't believe that's the case, a year on I still feel the same, even though so much awful stuff regarding ex dh has happened this last year.

Enjoy it, enjoy your life from now forward

Thank you for the good wishes.
I haven't felt attracted to him
For years. He was pushy and sulky when it came to sex and was a bit leery. I'm ashamed to say that he made my skin crawl at the end as he would try to be sexy and I could not let go of his disregard and disrespect for me so I got completely
Turned off. I'm
Sure he felt that and i did not want him to feel that. I would wince and recoil when he touched me unexpectedly.
The same
Man had no problem
Returning to work hours after I had many crying breakdowns about the lack of support and care for me and our children amd
Brushing my mental health under the carpet.