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struggling to get used to full time job

28 replies

Ceci03 · 09/01/2020 12:12

so I've moved to a new city, have a new job that's 9-5 every day. I'm finding it really hard. DS aged 11 just started a new school a few weeks before xmas. He's struggling too - struggling to make friends, and with the 'work'. He's been crying before and after school every day this week. It's just overwhelming for him as he went into year 7 and had previously been in a small primary school. Last night I came in and just the mess, and the dishes waiting to be done, and no food in, and wet washing waiting to be hung up, and the dog needing a walk, and ds crying about his homework (the teacher told them to take a photo of the homework on the board, but ds didn't have his phone - well the school say the policy is no phones on during the day so he didn't think he needed it). I've emailed the school to find out what the homework is - they have an online system but this homework is not up there. DS was crying again this morning, he was scared to go in. I dunno, I'm so tired today I'm falling asleep at my desk. I feel so alone, I dunno how I'm going to cope. I'm not coping!!! I'm just so tired when I get home from work, and then the jobs piling up. It's just ds and me. Anyone any advice. Be more organised - will have to make some lists at the weekend. Where is my free time though...! I miss working p/t. It just seems like I'm this hamster or cog in a wheel, going round and round. Commute is about 1.5 hours each way. It could be shorter but I seem to walk slower in the evenings especially! - it's walk-train-walk. Grateful for any of your stories how you manage it all. Feeling stupid that I'm finding it so hard. Sure thousands of women work full time. Feel like a failure. It's just so much. And being positive for ds is really hard. I feel like I'm failing him as well.

OP posts:
Daftodil · 09/01/2020 19:02

Is there any opportunity to work flexibly? I work from home 1 day a week and it makes such a difference (less commuting time, but also a chance to get a few bits done at lunchtime). I'm lucky to have a flexible employer and colleagues of mine work full time hours over 4 days or 4.5 days so it may be possible to claw back an extra day or half day in your week this way... Obviously it depends on what type of job you have but if it is office based there is little reason not to. If your boss is unhelpful, perhaps speak to HR and see what policy/options are in place. The Gov website is here: www.gov.uk/flexible-working

GoldfishGirl · 09/01/2020 19:19

Defo don't hesitate to buy a freezer. I got a second one and it lives in the boiler cupboard (yes I get funny looks when they check the boiler). It really opens up the batch cooking possibilities. I got mine on ebay second hand for 40 quid though did need a lift to collect.

Teateaandmoretea · 09/01/2020 19:33

Are you a single parent? I work with intermittent daft commute up to 2 hours (wfh other days) but DH picks up the slack. I also don't have a dog Wink

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