... or just completely bloody stupid to do a pregnancy test??????????

[kizzie]

Long story BUT...

8 years ago had twin boys following IVF.

Boys gorgeous but didnt feel 'finished' with children (if that makes any sense) and would have dearly loved more. For various reasons more fertility treatment not an option. (DH had failed Vas Reversal)

2 years ago went long way down the line with adoption but because still having withdrawal probs from small dose of AD's couldnt go through final stages.

Anyway..............
In all those 8 years Ive had a few tears and many 'oh well' moments when my period has arrived. But Ive never seriously considered that a miracle could have happened and I might be pregnant.

Until - last week.... I cant describe it but I just 'felt' pregnant. I had a metallic taste in my mouth, huge sore boobs and felt sick when I went anywhere near toothpaste. I cant believe I let myself think 'maybe' but for 2 days thats exactly what I did.
And then when my period was a day late I WENT TO BOOTS AND BOUGHT A TEST!!!!!!!

It was negative (of course) - and 2 days later my period started.

So there you go - no baby.

I cant belive I even let myself think for a moment that there could have been.

Anyway - sorry for long note. Just wanted to get all that out. Because dont really feel like i can talk to anyone in RL about it.

Kizziex

My Mum wasn't there at the birth. I did consider it, but because she'd had a bad experience herself, I was concerned that she'd be too stressed out to do anything useful! I actually didn't tell her I was having contractions either, even though they were happening for 2.5 days before the full blown stuff. I asked her afterwards whether she'd have been able to behave normally if she'd known, and she admitted that she wouldn't have. Which would have meant that everyone would have guessed and been phoning up the house driving me nuts!!!
Poor DPs didn't find out about the birth until 3 hours after DD was born too; because DD almost died, DH didn't want to leave us to go and phone. My Mum was in a right state worrying all day. She made up for it in excitement though, when she saw DD the day after.

m daughter had lost 3 babies previously so understandably was worried,thats why i had to be with her,i went to every doc and hosp apt ,my son in law was too scared in case it went wrong again,but all ended well.Its a good thing i know all the swear words because think she used everyone of them during her labour !!!!