To be hurt by DSis’ comment?

[fairynick]

Was at dinner this evening. DSis is in final year at uni and DF was asking what she’ll be doing after. She explained she might go on to do a teaching course, then went on to say “at least one of us will have a career” making an eye gesture toward me.
I dropped out of uni in my final year because I had a mental health crisis and attempted suicide. I now work in a sales position in a call centre.
I know it was probably a joke but it really felt like a kick in the teeth, especially because it was so true.

What a fucking bitch!

Sorry for the expletives but how dare she make you feel like that?

You’re alive (and well, I hope?) and nothing is more important than that!!

That's nasty I hope you called her out for saying that ?

The fuck?! She’s an absolute piece of work. Unless there’s a massive history of your family joking with each other in that kind of way - including jokes that are really close to the bone- she was horrible and you would not be unreasonable at all to limit your time with her for the further improvement of your mental health.

Ah no matter how old siblings always act like they did as little kids. She made the dig because she resents something and you got offended because you think what she said it true but don't need it rubbed in your face.

It’s not true and she had no right to make that comment, it’s pretty unbelievable that she thought it was okay, joke or not. You should be proud of who you are and where you have reached. Have faith in yourself.

what a bitch.

Tell her she might need to have some basic manners and empathy to be a teacher.

Your father should have told her off big time.

You have a job and you survived your mental health crisis - well done.

Incredibly thoughtfulness and hurtful.

She's a passive aggressive bitch

That’s horrible is she always like this?

What a cow.

Ouch!

You may feel you just have a job at the mo rather than a career but there is nothing to say things will always be that way. You had to quit the course for your health and well-being at that time. Don't feel bad about that.You perhaps just weren't in the right place at the right time.

Your sister is a prize bitch. You don't joke about such things given the situation you were in.

That was really mean and unkind, she hasn't finished uni nor has she carved out a career. Working in a call centre is really tough and your sister has shown her immaturity! Let's see how she fairs in the real world, but I am not surprised you are hurting x

We are quite a jokey family and I can dig into people and make “nasty jokes” so to say but I usually know where to draw the line. She can be quite difficult at times. I think she was on one tonight as she then said at the table “so mums reduced your rent hasn’t she” (I’m living back at home and have had my rent reduced by £50 a month because it acted for food included before but now I’m on a diet so am buying my own food). It seemed another unnecessary conversation.

you got offended

No. I’m sorry, no. The OP tried to kill herself, and in the wake of that her sister is making nasty digs out the blue about her lack of career progression?! The OP didn’t ‘get offended’. She’s got an arsehole for a sister. With family like that, who needs enemies.

Wow. Next time she spouts her rubbish, clap and say, "Yay! I have a shady bitch for a sister!🤗🙄" Fight fire with fire; don't let her sit there and talk to you like that.

That's mean. How are you now? Are you happier? FWIW, I'm a teacher, my brother works in a factory. He has way more in savings than me and goes abroad several times a year. He works to live, and boy does he live. A similarly tactless family member once questioned his lack of career drive and he laughed and said 'I have all I need, and when I look at my sister (me), I am filled with a mixture a pride and a determination that I never want to drive myself into the ground by working that hard.' Having a career doesn't mean anything.

It was a horrible thing to say. Assuming she’s not a total bitch through and through, I imagine she’ll look back and cringe.

In the interests of being constructive, id try to look at it in the wider context of your sibling & family relationships and see how you feel about it and what you want to do. My own sister and I can be quite unpleasantly competitive towards each other, but increasingly I’ve recognised that as a consequence of our childhoods and tried to move away from it.

That's a horribly nasty thing to say and there's no way she should be permitted to be a teacher. Comments like that could send vulnerable children over the edge.

She maybe meant it as a joke.

Ignore.

Ask her to define 'career'. Because plenty of jobs become careers over time.

Bitch.

Jealousy is a funny master I'm sorry she said that to you it's not true of course and you of course can always take your credits and do something with those

Hold onto to your recovery and good luck with your diet don't let naysayers put you off

People sometimes say nasty thoughtless things. Siblings take it to a whole other level they can usually bring us to our knees in a few words, knowing exactly the ones that will cut deepest.

Just thinking about where it's coming from. Is it possible that she's consciously or subconsciously feeling quite overwhelmed at this stage in her final year and seeking a bit of extra family (parental) love and reassurance? In competing sibling terms you've done damn well to get a regular job have an income stream and are doing rather well on your own feet. You're even in control of your diet and your mum's supported by a rent reduction.

Tell her she is hardly being original doing a teaching course because she can’t think of anything else to do with her degree.

Well I’ll tell you something for free - wouldn’t want a nasty bitch like this teaching a child of mine.