To tactfully talk to BIL about engagement?

[Olivetree615]

Hi all, as not to drip feed;
BIL has been with his now fiancé for just over a year, they broke up for a good 3 months as she was found to be sleeping with her ex behind his back. We weren’t overly keen (lots of her not working, spending his money and obviously the cheating- she is also still renting a room from said ex).
He admitted to us on Boxing Day that they had been seeing each other again for a couple of months and she has since proposed to him & he has said yes..
Then today he has called to announce the wedding is booked for the end of this year..!
WIBU/his brother (my DP) to tactfully, with care, voice our concerns that he’s rushing into this?
We’re just so worried but I’m prepared to be told to keep my beak out

I would keep my nose out but be there to pick up the pieces when it inevitably goes tits up. Spend as little as possible on your wedding outfit/present and smile and nod where appropriate!

How many times do you think it's going to be called off between then and now ?

I think she's trying to, 'flush out' her ex and get a proposal from him.

I wouldn't. If he ends up marrying her anyway, you cut off his support system. He has already lied about their relationship restarting. He probably knows it isnt a good idea?

I wouldn't try to speak to him about it either. He's an adult and can make his own decisions.

Just be there when it goes to pot. Because it will.

Smile and congratulate. The end of 2020 is miles away!!

Is he rich?

I wouldn't. Just be there for him when if the relationship breaks down

I wouldn't say anything if I were you. But I would absolutely sit him down and find out what was going on if I was your husband.
I have a sister and I wouldn't be doing any o Frye keep my nose out bollocks. I would not sit back and watch some wanker hurt her like that.

I'd say congratulations and remind him you are always there for him and can't wait to be part of his big day. Trying to talk him out of it will do 2 things 1) drive him away 2) make him embarassed to break it off because of all the "I told you so"

Thank you all! Yes it does seem like she has proposed to instantly ‘gain back his trust’ with no real effort behind it..
And no Dozer he isn’t at all rich! Just prone to rushing into relationships and very gullible.

I think the supporting him is our best way to go..

If this was my sibling would express concern. DH would do the same and in fact has done so in similar situations with one of his siblings: they didn’t change their courses of action but it didn’t harm their/DH’s relationship.

With a BIL/SIL I would be neutral and avoid the topic!