AIBU to still be really annoyed by this absolute rankness

[recreationalcalpol]

My colleague kindly offered to go out to get me lunch today. He’s very big on environmental protection, for which I applaud him. However, he sometimes takes it a bit far IMO e.g. he washes out the cardboard food container that his lunch is served in and takes it back to the shop to use again. I’m a bit of a neat freak and I find this absolutely disgusting (how do you clean cardboard properly in a work sink with lukewarm water), but it’s his life and he’s hurting no one, so whatever.

Anyway, today I specifically asked him to get me a fresh container and not reuse one of his for my lunch. He agreed, and came back with two lunches. I ate most of mine and then he told me that mine was in the reused cardboard container. He hadn’t realised in the shop but did realise when he got back to work but decided not to tell me until after I’d finished eating.

I still feel icky about it now, and told him that he’d behaved in a paternalistic and patriarchal way by imposing his own views on me without my agreement. He got a bit huffy that I was ‘bringing gender into it’ as apparently he’d do the same to a man.

AIBU to think this was rank and to still be a bit annoyed?

He offered to go and get it! And I gave him cash. Just because he picked up the lunch, does that mean he can ignore my (pretty reasonable) request about my own lunch that I paid for?

Are you in the UK op? I've never bought lunch or mushrooms in a cardboard container here.

You've behaved in a paternalistic and patriarchal way by imposing your own views on me without my agreement.

That's ridiculous. He obviously made a mistake and should have told you but didn't. I bet he would have done the same to a bloke you're being hysterical to bring gender into it.

Hysterical! That’s such a dreadful word, and should probably not be used in response to a complaint that my boundaries have been ignored by a bloke. Sort of sums up my point..

bobster - yes, in london. My fruit and veg shop sells mushrooms in cardboard, and it’s cardboard containers round here for lunch.

I told him that he’d behaved in a paternalistic and patriarchal way by imposing his own views on me without my agreement.

Nobody gets this offended or speaks like this in real life. You've spent too much time on Mumsnet.

"And how long before his cardboard container becomes too flaccid for purpose?"

I must not read things like this with coffee in my mouth
I must not read things like this with coffee in my mouth
I must not read things like this with coffee in my mouth

wiping the screen with odious ungreen wipes

You both sound mental. Sort your own lunch out.

YANB for not wanting reused cardboard
YABVU for saying it’s a gender issue. Get a bloody grip.

"You're being hysterical to bring gender into it"

Do you know where "hysteria" comes from????!

• So he’s repeatedly put his fork into the container, then his mouth, then back into the container?

Could have been worse. Could have been eating with his fingers, which as every card-carrying, dettol-wiping germophobe knows, have probably been in close proximity with his anus that very morning.*

Even worse think of the camphylobactor & E-coli on the salad and salmonella in the dressing; they have been sat multiplying in a damp cardboard box for however long...

You both sound mental. Sort your own lunch out.

This. Oh my god bringing gender into it.

God knows I can shoehorn the word "patriarchy" into pretty much every sentence I utter but being a skank doesn't depend on whether you have a dick or not.

Anyway. WHY DOESN'T HE USE HIS OWN REUSABLE TUPPERWARE CONTAINER? I really need to know if you have asked him this and what his answer was.

PS yes, fuck off with your "hysterical". If you think I sound bossy here, just think of me as a man and you'll see I'm just assertive then. Patriarchy, innit.