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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU about dream house

17 replies

Thekindyoufindinasecondhand · 07/01/2020 22:48

DH and I are looking for our first home to buy together. I am 3 months pregnant and would like to be in well before baby is born. This evening we saw what I would describe as the dream house. In budget, needs no work going, ticks every box we have discussed.
DH and I got into an argument on the way home as he feels we should still look at more houses as this is only the third one we have seen, started picking at very minor details, as if to calm me down for being overly excited at finding, what i feel is the perfect house.
So - am I being unreasonable being angry about this or am I right to be totally pissed off we are going to potentially miss out on a fantastic home!!!!!!

OP posts:

Justmuddlingalong · 07/01/2020 22:51

Give the estate agents a note of interest and keep looking.

1Morewineplease · 07/01/2020 22:51

Maybe this dream home ticks all your boxes but not his.
Your new home is a decision for both of you.

TwinkleInMyEye2020 · 07/01/2020 23:03

Given that you have a deadline, I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all. I don’t know where you’re based but the market is pretty quiet and slow at present with all that’s been going on politically.

I am now 20 weeks pregnant and, despite having agreed a house purchase at 10 weeks, there’s still no exchange date in sight let alone a completion date. I’m very much hoping all will go ahead before the baby arrives but there are no guarantees at this point. And this is a straightforward sale where both parties are chain-free.

Not to worry you but I’d be wary of wasting time.

bridgetreilly · 07/01/2020 23:05

You definitely don't need to see more houses if you've found one that you like and can afford.

gobbynorthernbird · 07/01/2020 23:07

Sounds like, for whatever reason, DH hasn't fallen for it as hard as you have. I've been in plenty of house that, whilst theoretically perfect, we're just not for me.

SpoonBlender · 07/01/2020 23:08

You don't need to stop looking until the house is in your ownership. You're being daft. Put in a "yes, we'd like to offer" on this one, and carry on going. Perhaps there's an even better one round the corner?

Also have a proper talk with DH about what he wants in a house. He may only be trying to de-escalate your excitement at this being perfect, or he may actually have a reason.

PickAChew · 07/01/2020 23:10

You can see more houses in the space of a day or two. The market is so slow, atm, that you can probably afford a minor dither. We dithered for a few days on this one before we agreed that others were disappointing in comparison and it needed a shitload of work.

UnderperformingSeal · 07/01/2020 23:24

Go for a second look. Maybe you'll see it differently, maybe DH will. Maybe you both will and you're in no better position

Constance17 · 08/01/2020 00:04

Good luck with house and baby. Exciting chapters ahead. Learning to compromise and see others point of view would be beneficial of you would like a happy future

Original poster

Thekindyoufindinasecondhand · 08/01/2020 00:12

@constance17 thank you for the well wishes. Don't worry though, I do see others point of views generally and am a big believer in compromise!!!

OP posts:

AlunWynsKnee · 08/01/2020 00:17

Twice I've bought the first house I viewed. Both were good buys. I have also taken much longer to find the right house. But on that occasion we knew it was right at the first viewing.

frankincenseandmur · 08/01/2020 00:18

Does it tick all of DH’s boxes?

crustycrab · 08/01/2020 00:22

So irritating. I'd bought several houses before mine and DHs first house together. However, it was his first. I knew the first one we looked at was "the one", he had to reassure himself it was by having us view many more similar properties....before buying the first one we viewed 🤷🏽‍♀️

StarUtopia · 08/01/2020 00:26

We bought the first house we viewed. I viewed it on the weds, husband saw it the Thursday, we were in the bank on the Friday to arrange a mortgage.

BUT we both fell in love with it.

Maybe it's your dream house but not his?

Original poster

Thekindyoufindinasecondhand · 08/01/2020 09:08

It ticks all of DH's boxes yes, I that we described what's important to us prior to viewing any houses and this has every single requirement.

Like a pp said maybe he just doesn't have that feeling about it. Grrrrrr!

OP posts:

Disfordarkchocolate · 08/01/2020 09:13

Looking for a house that is just a 'little bit better' or keeping looking just to see what is out there so you don't miss something = the people Kirsty and Phil want to bury under a patio.

No house is perfect.

Icecreambaby · 08/01/2020 09:27

Does he like that house too but just want to look at more? If he does like the house, maybe spend the coming weekend to look at 3 more and then you can make an offer to the 'dream house' next week. I would believe you both have a set of criteria already so there is no reason to keep looking if you find the right one. Maybe ask him what additional things he is searching for by looking at more properties? Tell him you need to know what to look out for for him as well!

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