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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Share/Not To Share Images of DC Online?

63 replies

BabyBunnyMama · 07/01/2020 22:23

I have shared a few pictures of my DD since she was born (now 8 months) but always been cautious - nothing that would embarrass her etc. However starting to feel uneasy about it so have started removing them now and just keeping up my monthly pictures of her with her milestone sticker and a couple of her during family days out. Going forward I think I will continue like this - or stop posting on social media all together.

Just curious how others feel about sharing images of their DC?

OP posts:
HeronLanyon · 08/01/2020 05:13

I’m not even on Facebook (work related reasons). All photo updates simply emailed to those worldwide friends/family who would like to see. I simply don’t understand children’s photos being shared online.
Acquaintance is a rather famous ‘insta/fashion/lifestyle blogger’ (I’m not sure of label) and I just feel sorry for her kids who have been plastered everywhere since birth and are now at age when I’ll bet they wish they hadn’t been !

1066vegan · 08/01/2020 05:20

My phone and tablet are android so photos and videos are automatically saved to the Google cloud. I get something similar to Facebook memories without having to share pictures.

Mypathtriedtokillme · 08/01/2020 05:24

I don’t at all.
Anyone else have the embarrassment of your siblings pulling out your childhood photo album to show your new boyfriend?
I did and imagine having them forever online for all to see as a teen would just be awful.

I send pictures of my kids on our private family group chat but that’s it.

LucaFritz · 08/01/2020 05:27

What people don't get is even with only close family and friends on your FB and your settings locked down as soon as you post a picture it is then owned by Facebook or whatever SM you use its in their T&Cs so whatever you post is there's to siphon and use as they please so even in a "private" page it'll be in a public database somewhere forever

Cantdoleft · 08/01/2020 05:49

**

Cantdoleft · 08/01/2020 05:51

What people don't get is even with only close family and friends on your FB and your settings locked down as soon as you post a picture it is then owned by Facebook or whatever SM you use its in their T&Cs so whatever you post is there's to siphon and use as they please so even in a "private" page it'll be in a public database somewhere forever

So what? I really don’t get the issue.

There are billions upon bilious of photos stored on FB, google photos, iCloud etc.

Who cares if there are some of me and my kids? No one outside my own group of friends on FB is ever going to “use” them.

I honestly don’t get the drama

Spikeyball · 08/01/2020 06:10

I post a few occasionally but nothing anyone would consider remotely embarrassing. FB is family and close friends only. I have to and will always have to make decisions on ds's behalf and this is just another one of them.

Emmagen · 08/01/2020 06:54

As far as fb is concerned I don't have a child... he is 3 Grin

I have posted about 5 pics in his whole life on insta because I only have about 5 friends on there and it felt 'smaller' but don't even do that anymore.

I am very glad that my childhood wasn't out there to be seen so I am wary of doing that to my son. I do have cloud backup of my photos and use google photo so they are all online if in theory private, I have no issues with him being in nursery or group photos on fb. He's been in photos at family events on fb and none of that bothers me I just feel it's not his choice whether or not to chronicle his life so I don't, the photos are there if he wants them when he is older.

Doesn't help that I have a couple of family members who are clueless about internet security and I really didn't want them posting everything about him so by not doing it myself I could ask them not to more easily. One of them announced my labour before it had even started Hmm that made me rather protective of baby related social media posts!

Original poster
BabyBunnyMama · 08/01/2020 07:20

Glad I am not alone! My Facebook is whittled down to only friends and family, I clear out my friends list every few months and delete anyone I've lost contact with, but still don't feel comfortable posting a load of pictures.

I send them to the friends and family members directly that care and that I completely trust.

Also completely agree with everyone saying imagine having your childhood pictures plastered everywhere and how embarrassing it would be - I was debating that with myself as DD is growing up in such a different world to me in terms of SM, but I'm sure it would still be embarrassing in the teenage years.

Feeling better about my decision now Grin

OP posts:
SimonJT · 08/01/2020 07:28

I only have instagram, it’s private and I only have close friends on there. I do post the odd photo of my son, but his face is always obscured.

He’s adopted, his BM wouldn’t be a problem etc. But he is his own person, if he wants to be publicly online that’s something he can choose as an adult, it isn’t something I can choose for him.

Spacedust1 · 08/01/2020 07:31

I used to but like you began to feel uncomfortable about it and no longer do

MyOwnSummer · 08/01/2020 08:08

Definitely never post anything about my kiddo. Reasons are mainly about her right to privacy, the need to avoid competitive grandparenting and some personal issues related to my job which means I need to keep a low profile.

Mainly it's the privacy issue, the idea of my own childhood being plastered all over the internet gives me the rage - I'm mid 30s so it wasn't an issue when I was a kid.

TwiddleMuff · 08/01/2020 08:14

@cantdoleft

It’s the unknown people are worried about. Eg, A few years ago no one could have foreseen Cambridge Analytica.

Facebooks facial recognition software is very advanced. So there is a very real chance this huge database of people could be mined by governments or insurance companies, banks etc in the future. It isn’t a stretch to see how photos can be used for nefarious means.

TheGoogleMum · 08/01/2020 08:21

My compromise was to set up a private Instagram, so I can put pics of her up but only friends and family who have added her and I've accepted can see photos. I do put occasional ones on Facebook but try not to do very many.

ursuslemonade · 08/01/2020 08:33

No pictures of my kids on SM.
But I know I'm in a minority.
People share too much stuff.

RuggerHug · 08/01/2020 08:35

Share none at all. Only had it happen once that someone else posted pics of DCs and they were fine with us asking them to remove them. I've a relative who doesn't mention anything about their DD for very good reasons and their own brother decided it wasn't fair he wasn't allowed post of his DNs so did it anyway. Selfish prick.

SVRT19674 · 08/01/2020 08:36

Yes, I share pics. But it's friends only (and my facebook IS friends only) nothing public. Also, nothing that would embarrass her later on. I think we are fine like that.

HeyDuggeesCakeBadge · 08/01/2020 08:55

Wow, only on MN would you get so many responses saying no way, never - when most people clearly do. Yes I share pictures of my kids, if they don't like it when they are older I can delete them.

mistermagpie · 08/01/2020 09:06

I share quite a bit of my three children but my privacy settings are really tight (I'm NC with my family so don't want them knowing where I am or about my kids - they've never met them) and I'm only social media friends with people I'm actually friends or family with in real life - no colleagues or random people I went to school with. I'm comfortable with that, but I respect anyone's decision not to share photos and never post post photos of my kids where other children are in them, even relatives or people I know share their own photos.

mistermagpie · 08/01/2020 09:09

Almost everyone I know posts quite a few photos of their children on Facebook as well, so these responses here are clearly not representative of people I know!

LactatingWithRage · 08/01/2020 09:09

If you're putting them on facebook then read the small print. As soon as you put a picture on there facebook owns it and the rights to it.

Our DC are 9 and we don't put any pictures of them online. We don't use social media so it's not difficult. Our DC are too young to give informed consent to having their image shared on sm.

Employers now look back over years of sm. We do not have the right to share information/images of them they someone can look back at years from now.

Also a proud parent sharing a school/sporting event photo... Someone can see the logo on the uniform/kit, they now know quite a bit about your DC and when you'll be out the house. The hashtagging is daft, so much information given out.

People don't think.

Watch 'You' on netflicks, that will explain why you should use caution with sm quite easily.

BackInTime · 08/01/2020 09:13

I have only ever posted a handful of pictures with my DC in and have never posted anything about their school reports 'feeling proud' type things or checking in at A&E etc. I strongly believe in their right to privacy and I also don't see why ex colleagues or school friends would have any interest in such things. If I want to share a photo with family and friends their a many other ways of doing so.

BackInTime · 08/01/2020 09:15

There not their bloody auto correct Blush

TheVanguardSix · 08/01/2020 09:16

I rarely, rarely do. I am hardly on FB so that helps. I share pics with people who genuinely want to see my kids and I do this via whatsapp or email. I don't think there's a soul on FB who wants to see my kids apart from in RL. So I don't bombard people with photos of my kids because guess what? Nobody looks at photos of our kids and says, "Aren't they great?" I do! My friends don't. Grin

TheVanguardSix · 08/01/2020 09:18

I strongly believe in their right to privacy

And this, with bells on. It's easy not to understand this when your kid is a few weeks/months old. But when they're older and they're telling you 'don't put photos of me on FB'- my DD requested this from age 7!- then you really gain an insight into why giving FB ownership over images of your kids is wrong. And you have to respect your chidren's right to privacy.