To think she should have said she is ill?

[Thistledew]

I'm 6 months pregnant. My immunity is not great at the best of times and I'm asthmatic so struggle to shake off coughs and colds. I've had a non-stop series of coughs since mid November, but finally this week have nearly shaken off the last one.

MiL turned up at our house today with a cough and telling us that this is only the second time she has been out of the house since Christmas.

I have this horrible sense of doom and inevitability and am now wondering how long it will be until I'm sick again. I wish she had told us so I could have had the chance to ask her not to come.

If she knows about your situation and sickness YANBU if she doesnt YABU. I wouldn't think to mention I had a cough to someone I was visiting if they didn't have small children tbh.

I understand your worry but coughs are more normally the end of an illness and less contagious than someone sneezing all over the place, I wouldn’t mention a cough to others either.

Just checked to see if, as I suspected, the “she” concerned was a mil!

Yes she knows how much I've been ill this winter. She also knows that I succumbed to the last cold when we stayed at hers just before and up to Christmas and my asthma was massively triggered by a reaction to her dusty carpets and the fact she had the heating cranked up to 25 degrees. I am perhaps feeling somewhat unreasonably resentful of that as well.

No I would,t necessarily tell someone if I had a cough or cold.

I'm not normally too bothered about colds but I have literally not had a day without coughing since about 20th November.

I have seen the GP who has confirmed it as a virus so nothing I can do to treat it.

Aside from the pregnancy I'm in a similar position to you. A simple cold for other people can (and has) developed in pneumonia for me, so I'm wary of other people's colds. If she knows your health situation it's a bit shitty for her to come over but for people who don't have to worry about this, it probably wouldn't cross their mind.

If I had a pregnant DIL I wouldn't turn up to see her unless I was fit and well - why the hell would anyone turn up with a cold?

She is asthmatic too and is badly affected by chest infections so knows how rough it can be.

Just another of her quirks- she catastrophises over diagnosis of non-existent illnesses and conditions, yet massively downplays it when people are struggling with an everyday bug.

In all seriousness, is there any way to avoid catching a cold from someone you are sharing a house with? She is supposed to be staying with us until Friday morning. I'm tempted to ask her to go home. I know that sounds harsh but I'm finally feeling almost well for the first time in nearly 8 weeks and I'm really gutted at the idea that I'm likely to catch yet another cold.

Wash your hands a lot and don't touch your face without washing your hands first. Hopefully that should lessen the risk. Also, have you discussed your asthma recently with your GP - does your medication need reviewing/amending due to being ill? I need to alter my steroid inhaler dose when I have a cold