To ask for advice about find a career which allows me to look at myself in the mirror

[thepeopleversuswork]

Prompted in part by the thread earlier from someone saying she feels ashamed about being a cleaner (she absolutely shouldn't).

I have an almost opposite problem: I'm ashamed of what I do for totally different reasons, I feel that my soul is utterly corroded by what I do. Its a white collar job (not going to say what as its too outing) very well paid (not boasting just setting out facts) and has fairly high status but has no ethical or society-focused underpinnings whatsoever.

I justify what I do on the grounds that I am a single mother without any childcare or financial support and have huge outgoings to pay my mortgage and the childcare which allows me to work. I escaped from an abusive marriage and I really needed to make a lot of money in a hurry.

I still need to make what by most people's standards is a fairly high salary in order to survive where I live and support my ability to work but I increasingly feel that I can't live with myself, that I'm running myself into the ground in order to enrich people who don't need any more money and to support people who at best are morally neutral capitalists, often far worse.

I look around at what is happening in the world (huge and widening gap between rich and poor, climate crisis, western democracies having been taken over by right wing thugs, discrimination against women and minorities still blighting society) and I keep hearing this voice in my head saying "evil triumphs when good people do nothing". ie, I can no longer justify what I do on the grounds that I need to support my child.

So having got that hair shirt rant out of the way, my question is, has anyone else successfully moved out of a highly paid but morally repugnant career into one where they were able to contribute positively to society without bankrupting themself. This question is aimed primarily at single parents or breadwinners purely on the basis that I don't have anyone else to lean on financially, so reducing hours or relying on someone else isn't an option. If I remain living where I live (and you can probably guess where I live), I would need a high salary and I'd prefer not to move as my child is about to go to secondary school. So while I'm prepared to take a certain pay cut, something like teaching or charity work as a sole career would be out for me at the moment. Volunteering is also not very easy for me as I don't have any childcare other than that which I need to pay for to work.

Has anyone successfully done this without financial support or uprooting their entire family? How did they do it?

HopeClearwater what a mean minded approach. I hope you never need to ask advice about a career change.

Out of interest what is a “corporate type”? Did I get that branded on me at birth or did that only happen when I took the Devil’s shilling? Does your superior “education type” brand last a lifetime?

Hairdresser? You could look at yourself in the mirror all day doing that job.

recrudescensce 😂 I would love to do that but don’t think I have the geometry.

thepeopleversuswork I like your style! Would happily see you as an educator/governor or hairdresser - as long as you keep that nasty “corporate” brand of yours covered up with a bandage or something. 😉

Op, could you use your status to bridge the gap a little, rather than moving out of your job entirely?
I work with kids in the care system and some of the bigger corporations do things like giving teens a tour of the offices, a days work experience, basic apprenticeships, career mentoring etc. It might sound tokenistic but it's actually introducing kids to a world they'd normally have no access to. It's not just aspiration, it's networking and links to opportunities. It's really valuable.

In your situation maybe you need to take a longer term view and look at ways to move jobs in say 5-10 years time or so when your DC may be less reliant on your income. Another thing is to look at ways to support good causes using the influence and contacts you may have through your work.

Sorry havent rtft, but my brother had a similar dilemma when he was in his twenties. He was - and remains - a really high earner - hedge fund type stuff. But the crunch is, he’s really good at it and enjoys/gets satisfaction for it. So his compromise/rationale is that he donates really big sums to charities that work in areas he feels strongly about. So he funds stuff rather than carrying out the work in the field. He thinks he’d be a dreadful mental health support worker (for instance) but he’s really good at donating money to a local charity to do just that.

As an alternative perspective, my job had so the moral/ethical underpinnings you seek. However, as a vastly underfunded service we still cannot meet my level of integrity and it is challenged frequently. Owing to the nature of work and the multiple side effects of chronic underfunding I am, as a baseline measure, overwhelmed. The impact of that takes its toll elsewhere.

Could you continue in your highly paid job, hello your organisation to take part in ethically good things (charities, etc ,) and use your tune outside of work engaging in ethical projects with your kid?

I could have written this. I'm a lawyer. My job is so meaningless. I'm not even a nice one, such a family specialist. Just in corporate wankfuckery. I volunteer for an hour a week with a befriending service. Simply because I need to do something to make a difference.

thepeopleversuswork how about moving into the renewable energy sector? It's a commercial domain but one that has huge potential to do good for environments and populations in the short and medium term - and in the long term it could be something truly transformational.

If I had my time over again it's exactly what I would be doing. I work in lower-paid "worthy" roles and struggle due to crazy house price inflation here in London - I'd have liked a better balance between corp and non-profit.

Interesting thread. I work in creative industry and when sticking to concepts / ideas I was ok with it. The more that role gets shoved down the line to marketing / digital marketing I have no interest in it. Just more junk in the world.

I have done similar for charity sector and it was good for a time (mostly due to ideas / person who owned company who was very clever) but when you get close to it they start to lose their shine. They can be just as hard nosed in getting where they want to go at the top end, but for lower money.

You should want to keep your security no harm in that but I’m not sure what will get you £150k (for eg) outside same sort of areas.

Doesn’t your employer have a Corporate Social Responsibly Programme? I volunteer for a charity through my employer and get paid to do my volunteering. I previously had a job working with those on the margins of society but earned so little that I realised I was only able to do this work because I was living off my DH who had a corporate job. I realised I could earn 5 times as much in a corporate job so changed careers and am pleased I have as we now have a much better lifestyle and I can support the DC.

Can you not offset your "moral" footprint by volunteering for a charity for a few hours a month?

I've not RTFT but I feel your pain. I used to work in the City for one of the big four (at the time) and essentially had exactly the same dilemma. While it wasn't antithetical employer per se, I had a fundamental problem with an employer whose main objective was to make money for their clients.

In terms of moving forward, I've actually found a solution which works well for me, at least. I am in essentially the same role, with the accordant package, but I now work for a corporation that makes medical devices i.e. products whose fundamental purpose is to cure people. While still a corporate (!) employer, this crucial differential in purpose is really important to me. I appreciate that we are still about making money, but if the increased selling of our devices results in less deaths, then that works for me. We also have a very strong focus on continually improvement through technical innovation, which is also all about delivering a better service to the patient.

Would something along those lines be an option?

I see someone already got there with the Board joining advice!
Definitely start by identifying a charitable aim or objective that you are passionate about. And then identify what you might bring to the Board. There might be things you bring that you don't realise a Board would find really valuable. Eg help with strategy, risk management systems, HR, financial forecasting, profile raising could all be very useful. You could always attend an AGM of a few charities to get a feel - they are all very very different. Lots of small arts organisations have limited contact and experience of commercial sectors so a different mindset around the table can be very helpful.

If you want a change of lifestyle you need to look at your outgoings not just your income.

In a non corporate job you don’t need to be in London.

To echo what others have said, I chair a small hospital charity. My friend who is the ultimate businesswomen, generously gives her time to us and it helps SO much. More than you can imagine. She sees things differently to us! The rest of us are very much public sector in our thinking. She renegotiated all our supply contracts and saved us thousands a year...just a small example. I think there can be a happy coexistence of commerce and charity and that you could be so valuable.

thepeopleversuswork

Ooh, did I hit a nerve?

I’ve done both corporate work and teaching. That’s how I know they don’t mix.