Pregnant and I think I'm single

[Mummygettingthroughit201]

So I'm having a really shit week, and I'm not sure of the point of this post other than has anyone else been in this situation!

I have a beautiful 2 year old with an ex partner who to put it politely is an absolute headache and is very fond of going to court for any argument he can, he sees her alternate weekends and I've never stopped their relationship.

Anyway, I met someone new early 2019, and we seemed to get on well, although it was a rocky start we got there and it's worked since, there has been the odd argument and he's sulked for a day or so but I've been the bigger person in the end and contacted him to sort it out.

Anyway my Nanna died this week and the day she died he started a massive row with me saying I don't put any effort into the relationship because I never go to his house during the week and he is always at mine, but my little girl is at nursery all day and I'm at work and by the tome I get home it's tea, bath, bed for her and I've told him that she comes first .. I do go to his on the weekends I don't have my little girl. Anyway he has now been ignoring me for 5 days, even after I've asked to talk through it and see if we can sort out what's wrong and if he feels he is making all the effort then we will just do weekends and see each other because I don't want him feeling like this.

I'm 22 weeks pregnant, I'm tired, I'm getting really down with it all and I'm sick of trying to contact him and ask him where I stand for him to ignore me. I just really needed some support this week, and I'm just all a bit lost.

Think I feel like I've done it again. And now got two kids with two different people and I've literally myself too blame. Anyway I don't know what the point of this was other than to just rant it out because I'm sure my friends are sick of hearing me!

I’m sorry you’re going though this. He sounds like a man child though! I hope things get better for you. You can get through this

That's tough OP. Though I'm suet you'd be better off without him with or without the baby

Posted too soon - try to find additional support networks & talk about how to go forward. If counselling is an option that might be good although it sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do. Has he any dc himself? Doesn't sound like he's had a lot of responsibility before. Go easy on yourself

I'm sorry he is being an arsehole. How did he take the news of the unexpected pregnancy?

@Ginfordinner how do you know it was an unexpected pregnancy? Perhaps I haven’t read the OP’s original post but I can’t see that it says that.

Don't take any shit from him. He should be making much more effort and you are both pregnant and looking after a 2 year old (unless he also has kids/caring responsibilities you haven't mentioned)

Sorry, OP. He sounds very immature.

Why did you get pregnant with him as the father or was it a mistake?

This guy sounds like an arsehole OP. Choosing the morning your GM died to pick at fight with you? That's just a nasty thing to do. I would start making plans to be a single mum again. Your life will be much calmer with out this bloke mucking you about.

If the baby wasn’t planned then it does sound like he’s trying to pick a fight so you’ll break up with him . Perhaps he’s not ready to be a father to a new baby and a two year old , especially if you’re not living together .

Cremedelacremenutellastylie My mistake for assuming. They hadn't been together long.

He also has a 3 year old that he sees every other weekend and 2 night during the week every other week, which has never been a problem and I've never asked him to take her out of routine after a long day (we live in different towns, 30 min away). But he is expecting me to mess around during the week with my 2 year old. It's so frustrating, and no the pregnancy wasn't planned, he ignored me for a week and said he wanted nothing to do with it then changed his mind and stopped sulking about it

Try not to beat yourself up. The horse has already well and truly bolted, you obviously can’t turn back time and can’t do anything to alter the situation. He doesn’t sound as though he’s worth any energy tbh, I’d remove him from the scenario for the rest of your pregnancy. You need to be calm and as stress free as possible during pregnancy, he really isn’t helping in any way at all. He just sounds like an infantile prick. He can be in contact with the baby once it’s born but until then, sack him off.

@buckeejit better off without the baby? The baby is obviously wanted if OP is 20 plus weeks. What an awful thing to say to someone.

You don't need him, you especially don't need him if he's behaving like a twat. Focus on you and your kids. If he wants to be with you he needs to 'man up' quickly. He won't do it while you pander to his sulking. Start planning your life without him and if he makes the grade eventually fine. He needs to do the heavy lifting though x

PepePig I really don’t think that’s what was meant by the comment, I read it as her being better off without the man regardless of the situation.

@pepepig

Read it again

Better of WITHOUT HIM with or without the baby, I.e - he’s the problem.

OP - I am going to be harsh.

Nothing about your descriptions of the man sound nice. The fact he ignored you told him your were pregnant tells you all you need to know.

Honestly? You’re in for a tough time. Personally I’d be splitting up. Now is the time you should see the best of him - you’re vulnerable and need support and here he is abusing you.

Do yourself and your child favour and get rid. Only you will know what he’ll be like as a NRP but I’d try to put sensible arrangements in place early, avoid putting him on the birth certificate and get your support network in place.