If your kids lose school equipment do you make them pay for it?

[Kitsandkids]

My eldest is in Year 7 and isn’t the best at organisation. We have to make payments online for various books, trips etc for his school and have to top up for his dinner money weekly so he always has money on his account. Today a payment of £7.50 has been taken for a textbook that he has to have. We already paid for this in September but he’s lost it and he has to have a replacement. He has form for losing things but he does have minor SN so I generally replace myself.

But, obviously he’s getting older, and he needs to learn to take care of his things. I’ve also recently started giving him pocket money of £10 a week as he’s started being invited to the cinema and swimming etc by friends. Previously I only gave him money as and when he needed it.

So as he now has his own ‘income’ aibu to make him pay for replacements of things he loses? What do parents of other kids do if your kids are prone to losing their belongings?

Ooh interested in the answers, my eldest DS is the same age and has lost his PE kit once already- we paid for the replacement but said we expect him to contribute if he looses it again. It costs a fortune to replace.

I make them pay a contribution. Just enough that they will find it to be a penalty and hopefully take a bit more care in the future. But not the whole amount if that is going to bankrupt them. Obviously the amount will change with time and circumstances.

Could you replace each item once, as a courtesy, and then any more after that are their own to replace? For example, now you've replaced that particular book, if he loses it again he will have to buy it himself.

I don’t. It’s a genuine accident could happen to anyone. If it became a habit due to a couldn’t care less attitude, I would.

How old is year7?

Personally I haven't made them pay if they lose things - but both of my DS have been pretty good at not losing stuff. If it was a regular problem I might start asking for a contribution. e.g. Loses £7 text book, pays £2

@elQuintoConyo

11 and 12

I never used to. But ds had such a relaxed attitude of oh well mum will replace I stopped.
Even down to stationery now as it was buying it weekly.
Hisnmost recent was mid Dec he'd left his coat at his dad's.. His dad lives 40 miles away and had already dropped some stuff off day previous that ds had left there, as his dad was in area.
Anyway I said oh your dad's found your coat.. His response.. Well he'll have to bring it down before he goes away tomorrow ( was going away for 3 weeks) he was so rude.. I found a second hand one of the brand he had for 20 quid.. And drew the cash out his account.. He isn't seeing his dad till the weekend so would of been nr 5 weeks in dec/Jan with no coat.
Hopefully hell learn

Year 7 is 11-12.

I would probably have sympathy if he generally took care of things but they’re generally chucked about his bedroom, his shoes are left wherever instead if where he knows he has to put them, homework sheets are taken out of his bag and left on the floor etc. He is a lovely boy in other ways though!

I replace once or twice but would charge after that,

Ds has had a house key since y7. He's in y9 and lost it last term. I've given him a replacement for free but next time he will be paying for a replacement and he was fine with that.

Can you help him set up a system to keep things in their place? Folder to contain textbook and exercise book/sheets and keep them together? Get him to check as he leaves each lesson that he has everything?
Then I wouldn’t be handing over more than £500 a year pocket money and replacing things he CBA to look after.

You need to teach organisational skills and help him learn how not to lose stuff. A monetary penalty after the event won't help him learn how now to lose things. (though not necessarily unreasonably to apply - adult dyspraxics often count the costs of replacing lost driving licences/passports etc. as a cost of their disability).

Even if dyspraxia isn't the disability, the resources available for dyspraxia/to a slightly lesser extent dyslexia are the ones that will help with organisational skills. If you're struggling, [and I am assuming he doesn't have an EHCP with OT included] look for an independent Occupational Therapist and have some professional input.

I think you should help him put strategies in place to avoid this happening repeatedly, if you haven’t already done so. If his SN affect his organisational skills but he tried his best I’d be more sympathetic than if he just can’t be arsed looking after his things.

No, wouldn’t even enter my mind too. I’d imagine most people occasionally lose things.

By the time my eldest had lost 3 school jumpers all named I made him pay for the next one. He never lost it again.

Same with calculators, lose 2 calculators, he buys himself a new one. Guess what? Doesn’t get lost.

I should add there are no SEN at all, just a child who didn’t value possessions so he had to learn