To not want friends DH to join us...

[ilikegiraffes]

I know I sound about 5, however this has happened before and in the end it was really annoying and ruined the friendship. I have a mum friend, known about a year, met through dc. Haven't yet met her DH...

Every time I arrange to meet her lately she's taken her DH into consideration. Not just a one off oh he's free that date, he may tag along. Nope, it's now like I'm arranging to meet 2 friends.

I don't want to meet up with him. He sounds like a complete arsehole, incredibly lazy, selfish and we generally have very different opinions by the sounds of it. It's a lose, lose situation really. How do I say, please stop inviting your DH?

DH thinks it's controlling on her DH's part. I don't think he's abusive as such, just a selfish person obsessed with his career and hobby but who knows what goes on.

AIBU here?

Invite her to a "girlie day"? That implies he's not welcome without outright saying it.

Alternatively be honest and say it would be great to catch up just the two of you?

I think your DH is right, Tell her you want to discuss something private with her - just you and her (make something up when you get there) that way you'll know if he is controlling or not if he comes.

I agree with your DH unless it was clearly a couple type event (e.g. dinner round at yours with your DH too) then why on earth would she need to bring her DH? Could you be a bit more direct, e.g. "let's leave the husband's at home for this one and have a proper catch up"