I’m finding things really really hard with my 15 month old

[Namechange2306]

I’m really struggling and I’m not sure if this is normal.
My 15 month old needs constant attention, which I know is mostly normal for a toddler of his age, but I feel like I don’t get any time to myself to do housework, go on my phone or do anything really.

He constantly brings me books to read to him, he’s done this before he turned a year old.
He’s been walking confidently since 11 months.

I am off on Mondays and Tuesdays with him, then Wednesday he is with his grandparents and Thursday & Friday he is at nursery while we are both at work.

I take him to playgroup on a Monday and Tuesday morning. It’s the afternoons I struggle with. Sometimes we go to the park but that inevitably ends in disaster if I’m on my own with him there because he just wants to be independent all the time and walk off by himself, he also makes a beeline for the gate all the time so I end up chasing him.

Apart from reading books and watching cbeebies in the house, he doesn’t seem to want to do anything else and if I try him with paper and crayons or anything like that, he tries to eat the crayons.
He doesn’t really ‘play’ with toys yet as such. He has a rocking horse he goes on, he has a little kitchen and plenty of other toys, plus a decent sized kids bookshelf. But he seems constantly bored. We don’t have a very big house and no garden, just a yard. Although we have a park/field and stream just across the road and a hillside with sheep on behind.
He’s just too little for the hillsides yet.

I feel my mental health in decline (I already have a few issues in that area).

I don't have any advice, my youngest Granddaughter has just come out of that stage.

It's normal, but it doesn't last long, they change by 18 months. I used to be out of the house as much as possible. Just do whatever you need to, to get through this stage.

I find that getting out of the house helps. We go to the playground, where the 17 month old just wants to swing. So I just stand there and swing her. He will get interested in other things, just keep offering alternatives or keep a watch on what he plays with at playgroup

My youngest is 18months and just coming out the other side of this. They develop so quickly now and she too was quick to walk, wanted to be really active but didn’t have the cognitive skills to match.

The last few weeks she’s started to calm down and really take an interest in everything, rather than just running about trying to injure herself all day long. It’s exhausting but there’s not much you can do apart from wait for it to pass. Which it will do, in the blink of an eye. And try and look after yourself at the same time.

I feel you. I have the same aged son and also a 2.5 year old. I am with him 24/7 as we can't afford the nursery fees and it is HARD. My elder one started to get easier at about 18 months so I'm holding out for that, but he's so different and much harder work that I'm dubious.
Getting out is good but hard work especially with both because they run off in different directions.
My mental health has had a real battering this year.

Sorry, no advice just letting you know it's quite normal and you're not the only one

Do you have a play pen you could set up some toys in.
Or put him in the high chair with some books or noisey toys whilst you try get some jobs done.
Hope it passes soon .

Does he like pushing things around? I got mine a push chair and a shopping trolley and used to walk her around the park pushing one and she enjoyed that so much that she didn't run off.

I hid them in the cupboard when we got home so she only had them outside

@Callthemidwifeplease He tries to climb out of his high chair every meal time and I tried a playpen a while back before he started walkinv properly and he absolutely hated it and screamed/cried the whole time.

@HappyPunky I’ll look into it. I’m willing to try anything at this point!

Totally normal. Looking after young kids that age is tough and can be mindnumbingly dull. Have hope however! They change and develop quickly

My youngest is 13 months and eldest almost 3. Like @spottbott my mental health us really suffering. 13 month old walking since 11 months and seems intent on trying to harm herself! Brings me books to read but loses interest after first page. Hates buggy. Hates car seat. Hates being restrained in anyway basically. Wants to walk but still falls over all the time. Not bothered about toys but wants the remote control, the plastic bag, the baby monitor etc and screams and throws her head back if she doesn’t get them. I’m seriously terrified of what her terrible twos are going to be like!!!

Dealing with both of them is so bloody hard. And her sleep is shit.

Glad for the reminder that this phase will hopefully pass soon!

It’s a hard age! It was the hardest age for me with both of mine, zero attention span and on the go all the time.
Being out of the house is good, could you try swimming on one of the afternoons? Do you have any friends with DCs around the same age?

Don’t worry, this shitty stage passes! If it didn’t, hardly anyone would have more than one DC.

Oh gosh I shouldn't have clicked this thread. I'll have a 15m old and a newborn in the summer.

It definitely gets easier. My DD was similar. It helped to break the day up into pre & post nap and have things planned, ie, in the morning we will go to the park / supermarket / woods. Then home for lunch and nap. After nap we will go for a walk round the block / puddles in the street / look round the pet shop / do some painting.

Getting out was key (and still is, she’s 2.5) to my sanity. It gets easier once they stop bolting at every opportunity. DD is past that now and we can actually go to the shops without me sweating and panting after trying to catch her the whole time.

@MrsIH my son is the same - he hates his buggy, or any sort of restraint, hates the high chair, car seat etc. Has almighty strops already where he throws himself to the floor screaming. Eldest was not this bad so I'm quite worried about terrible 2s too!

Let's all repeat the mantra "it is a phase and it will pass" even though it doesn't bloody feel like it!

Also, we got a Tripp trapp high chair (but I think any high seat would work) so DD can get herself up and down from the table. She always cried in a highchair, but this is much less stressful!

@spottbott my eldest was a dream! I guess that’s why the small age gap!! Dd2 will definitely be my last child

I found 12-24 months much worse than 2-3. Once DS could talk he was much happier. I worked full time, I think mentally I would have struggled part time tbh. DS seems none the worse for it, he’s 6 now and we have a lovely bond. Anyway, have some it will get better.

Mine's around the same age. He loves taking all the cushions off the sofa and making a big pile he can climb and fall around on, playing with a ball, his ride on car, climbing the stairs with support, and proper grown-up things like using the broom and cordless vac, loading the washing machine and turning it on, and playing with my saucepans and wooden spoons.

He loves it when I get the plastic teaset out, half fill the washing up bowl and pop it on a towel on the kitchen floor.

He also eats crayons. Crayola do some chunky pencils from 12M+ which we've found fab. I use masking tape to stick some paper to the floor or table, pop him on my lap and name the colours as I pass them to him. We usually get three or four sheets of good scribbling done that way.

Failing that, we put some upbeat music on and tell him to dance. He loves standing there swaying!

Link for pencils:

www.sainsburys.co.uk/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/gb/groceries/crayola-beginnings-jumbo-pencils-x8?gclid=Cj0KCQiA9dDwBRC9ARIsABbedBMh1h5PTA6qOF4cEi43GJRallqPWFFa67pAaaATlBTwFUEcC3YIJMAaAgLsEALw_wcB&storeId=10151&langId=44&krypto=EeLV5KV55glQwF39EPVwCHhqXIdnp8zBHRLLnjXgTJDH2UIbETTfkz96z48kcSCpAcU0gG%2FvhmHn2DR2kKO%2F967bQUpFx0%2F%2BTAze20LoYa%2F%2Btd2zzaZWCxX1m9qz6DZjv8E2cAEF7MLKdI%2BAZ2W%2FV3fvgszohuIeOCJopqWY1slk4MlLH4WJp%2FZRlwAO9mqBvUJQbFaUQ0h8GG%2BYkHFKVKKR%2FDqQukNYXg%2BvPS9xaCrJ%2Bxxror9GNykyyE%2F3btVrlMwIDe1FsGuP1952V%2FC%2BUmQp7RrXZKfaA6W56Ay8HyoZyO1HYsPUpHPMlsf0nfXGnI7xZv%2BoBifYrZSOXUayoLxc7zFRfEm%2BFtbH0r3cPKA%3D&ddkey=https%3Agb%2Fgroceries%2Fcrayola-beginnings-jumbo-pencils-x8

@MelroseHigginbottom that was the age gap I had. I wont lie, it was hard so take any help offered to you. But I did it with no family and am now looking at this with horror too, my youngest isn't walking yet! The key is to seek help if you start to struggle. GP, HV and Surestart if you have one.

@Namechange2306 could you go to the library? Swimming classes? Or just potter in the garden once the weather is better.

I could have written this a few years ago. It's so hard in this dismal weather. Go to parks and the library. Maybe invite friends round from playgroup on the hope that they'll return the invite?

This too will pass.

It is very normal. My first was an early walker and was into absolutely everything. What I found was that sleep was vital. I needed her to have good, long naps so I could recharge and she was much easier to look after if she was well rested. How is the napping?

I also found activities worked better for me than general pottering so my ideal day at home would be breakfast, out to activity, back for a bit of a play and lunch, sleep, play, dinner, bath and bed.

There are some 3 year olds that still struggle with colouring at nursery so don’t expect him to want to sit down with crayons at that age. Little Brian paint markers are brilliant for limited- mess painting and are easier for little hands.

I spent Christmas with my nephew that’s a similar age. I rarely saw him playing with toys. He just liked pottering and playing with the electrics... they do develop less of a death wish eventually but it’s so hard when they need constant supervision. My eldest became relatively civilised by 3 but I noticed big developmental leaps every 6 months or so before that when things just seemed to get a bit easier. Language acquisition helps a lot too.

There are lots of play mats out now that use just water to colour - water filled pens/brushes or you can give them normal brushes/sponges and a bowl of water if you don't mind it being spilled. Likewise they often like playing with a bafin of sudsy water and containers of various sizes and shapes - if you our down towels and stick a big waterproof bib on them.

What about soft play places? I know they're noisy etc but they can occupy and tire them for a while.

I still struggle to get housework or cooki g dine with an older toddler

*basin

On the general theme, yes - they are so fkg stressful and demanding. Mine does seem to be getting (somewhat) easier with age though, so it will change.