Post natal depression

[Malpal]

Hi everyone, first time posting here. My husband an I have been together nearly 5 years with 2 girls age dating 3 1/2 an 21 months. During a argument last night my husband said he thinks I have post natal depression an that I have changed since having my youngest. Aibu to feel really hurt by this comment? This has actually made me feel really sad an I don’t know what to do.
Thanks

How do you feel and do you think you were being unreasonable during the argument? He’s taken his time to mention it if that’s what he really feels
My DH quite often throws ‘you need to go back on the tablets’ at me during an argument but I know that it’s deffo not always me over reacting . Me going back on antids isn’t going to make him drinking 3 bottles of wine and 3 pints in one go any less ridiculous

It depends on how he said it. The people closest to us often see things we can’t see about ourselves. How have you been feeling in yourself? He said he thinks you might have a proper real potentially serious condition which might explain things he’s noticed. Better than slinging insults.

I have days where I feel low an totally drained but I put that down to my dd who is extremely clingy to me to the point I can’t leave a room without her screaming the place down. And our relationship hasn’t been the best of late. Most nights he falls asleep on the sofa an I go to bed on my own an we haven’t had sex in over a year. I have tried to instigate sex but he’s not interested. I know I’ve put on weight since having my girls I feel he’s gone off me an he’s trying to turn it onto me by implying depression.

I'd ask him what he means by "have changed". You probably have and so has he because you have had children. Ask him why he thinks you may be depressed, but try not to sound as if you are accusing him of being unfeeling etc. Just a genuine request for info, but don't be put down by it if he says anything. Maybe he's feeling left out and depressed!

It’s possible that you feeling low and completely drained does give an appearance of depression. Whereas you consider it to be exhaustion. Either way it’s not great but very common with two under fours.

Talk to him and ask him honestly how you can both work on improving your situation. Does he get stuck in at home and give you time to yourself?

YANBU to feel hurt but you mustn’t leave it there. You need a conversation not an argument. Maybe both of you need to devote a little bit more time and kindness to each other. This is a bloody hard stage but you were in love once so hopefully it’s still there.

Also consider the possibility that he is depressed. Loss of libido is a symptom.

He’s good around the home, helps cleaning up after tea, getting dd’s bathes an ready for bed. I’m a sahm so with dd’s 24/7 so no me time until they go to bed. He works all day gets tea, bedtime then away back out to work. An when he does have a evening in the house, he falls asleep on sofa.