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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed that my friend....

17 replies

Bewilderbeast · 28/08/2007 15:54

...who doesn't have children yet just told me that my DS who is 10 months old is too young to go to nursery one day a week. His granny has him on the other 4 days and she needs a break. It's a lovely nursery and has classes of just 8 children for 3-18 months and 18 months to 2.5years. I'm just a bit hurt really I suppose. I always worry that I'm doing the best I can for DS and that comment has got under my skin.

OP posts:
NAB3 · 28/08/2007 15:54

Has she got under your skin because you are not 100% happy with the decision or the nursery? If you are happy, ignore her. She'll learn how hard it is when she has kids!

meandmy · 28/08/2007 15:55

no one day a week will make him more sociable give granny a break!

LilRedWG · 28/08/2007 15:55

Maybe she could take him for the extra day . Seriously, ignore her! If you are happy with the nursery then you are doing the right thing!

lucyellensmum · 28/08/2007 15:59

Let her make the same criticism when she has her own children. NO-ONE without children has the right to cast aspersion on other parents, because until you have been there!!

You are lucky to have gran to look after DS so he will already be used to other people so i bet nursery will be just one exciting adventure for him. If it were me, i would be maybe thinking about two mornings instead of one whole day to start as i imagine he will be keeernackered but then i guess it woudlnt be such a break for nan. It does sound like a lovely nursery too.

Original poster
Bewilderbeast · 28/08/2007 15:59

I'm totally happy with the decision. I want him to be able to play with other babies and be more sociable. And if I'm honest much as I love my mum if I could afford to I would be sending him more than one day a week as she doens't socialise well and he is a bit isolated with her.

OP posts:
NAB3 · 28/08/2007 15:59

Then ignore your friend.

ScottishMummy · 28/08/2007 15:59

ignore it, it always irks when u feel your parenting is being criticised.

HonoriaGlossop · 28/08/2007 16:04

I agree, if you're totally happy with your choice then ignore it.

Childless people ARE allowed to have opinions on matters relating to children. You just weigh up how much importance to give to their opinion on each matter. In this case, NONE

bran · 28/08/2007 16:08

Snigger at her, and promise to remind her of everything she has said about child-rearing when she has her own.

alicet · 28/08/2007 16:08

Ignore your friend.

Ds who is now a lively sociable and happy little boy of 18 months started nursery for 3 days a week when he was 8 months old. We are not lucky enough to have family closeby but to be honest we have never regretted our decision and he loves it.

If you are happy with the nursery then either ignore your friend or tell her to butt out - It would take a hell of a lot for me to think I had the right to criticise someone else's parenting choices as we all do the best we can and come to the game with different experiences and beliefs that influence our choices. And most children turn out fine! I certainly wouldn't have dreamt of saying anything so tactless before I had ds!

Maybe though it was more of a throwaway comment to her and she didn't realise how much it would upset you? So try and ignore her rather than getting upset unless this criticism of your parenting continues when I would have a quiet word...

Good luck! you won't regret it!

ScottishMummy · 28/08/2007 16:12

tactfully let your friend know her comment hurt, she probably did not mean anything by it

littlelapin · 28/08/2007 16:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ScottishMummy · 28/08/2007 16:14

even if she is a child psychologist - ignore her your wee bubba up to you

kathryn77 · 28/08/2007 16:17

Ignore your friend.. I agree with everyone else. My little one went in one day a week from 6 months and loves it. The two other days i work, he spends one day with one nanny, the other with other nanny.

From experience of other friends kids, going in before he got to clingly stage has benefitted all round.

Social time at nursery is good for little ones.

Lovecat · 28/08/2007 16:18

I had to sit next to a complete arse at a dinner party recently banging on about how all the problems of the world were caused by these mothers 'dumping' their children in nurseries...

He then turned to me and said 'I mean, you're a SAHM and look at your lovely dd!'

It gave me no end of evil pleasure to point out to him that I worked 3 days a week and dd had been in a nursery since she was 10 months old both for her social life and my sanity.

Cue spluttering of arse and change of subject... tee hee hee

The moral of my anecdote is that opinions are like arseholes - everyone has them, most them stink! Ignore your friend and wait until she has children...

ScottishMummy · 28/08/2007 16:19

my bubba went to nursery FullTime at 6months - loves it, socialising well, bubba happy =mummy happy

maman4 · 28/08/2007 16:32

totally agree .Don t be put off you know his needs better than anyone youre his mum!

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