to ask if you have overwhelming tiredness and how you deal with it?

[overwhelminglyexhausted]

I go up to bed between 10pm-midnight, tired. I have a bath, go to bed and read a book (paper, not kindle/tablet/phone) but I can't get to sleep.
I've tried milky drinks and it's not helped.

I'll be awake until 3am sometimes and give up and go downstairs because I'm sick of lying in bed awake. I take the DCs to school then come home (I haven't gone back to work yet as I finished my job before xmas and am looking for a new one) and sometimes I end up going back to bed for 2-3 hours because I am so shattered. I've tried not to do this but it makes no difference. Then I work but get a period around 4-6 where I am bone crushingly exhausted but get through it and am fine for the rest of the day.

and repeat. I haven't had a good night sleep in ages.

Have you tried listening to asmr? I love it, it makes me fall asleep I listen to whispering etc, some people hate it and get misophonia from it but there's different types, tapping, whispering, eating and chewing (bleurgh). Your body clock is out of synch and I think you can get some sort of medication to regulate it, I had a terrible sleep pattern before especially in winter I'd fall asleep around 5/6pm when it was dark and then wake up 4am ish

I sympathise, my sleep patterns are terrible and I wake constantly. I’m trying magnesium in some natural sleep tablets

I have heard the going to bed late thing and getting up early does work so I second the going to bed at 3am even if you’re exhausted and no naps. My friend was on a sleep program for insomnia and this is what they had her do. Basically the less time in bed lying awake trying to get to sleep the better.

In my experience it’s the daytime naps that are the killer. Which is so hard to overcome because with only a few hours sleep resisting a daytime nap is a difficult task. For me, getting less than 6 hours sleep means I feel incredibly depressed. Less than 4 and I’m suicidal. But a couple of hours napping in the day makes it worse. What I’ve found helps is to allow a very short nap (and NOT in bed) and set an alarm so it’s no more than 30 mins. That’s enough to reset my brain enough to make it to the evening and then my sleep is improved that night.

First thing - got to your GP and have blood tests. Get a copy of results and check on the internet. (I'd push for Thyroid, Iron, B12, vitamin D as a minimum.) And depression need to be checked too.

Second stop being anxious about sleep. Lying still and relaxed can be pretty good too.

Third, try relaxation, meditation, mindfulness.

Lavender oil?

Is part of the problem your partner? Would separate beds help?
What about temperature? Would an open window help?

Power naps are also a good idea - set an alarm so you don't sleep too long.

You need to get daylight between 8am and midday to help your body click so try to stay outside after the school run for an hour or two (go for a walk, run errands etc). If you need to nap later when it’s getting dark again but don’t nap in the morning when it’s light.

Go thee to thy GP and get drugs, woman! Insomnia causes a host of other problems. And yes, it could be hormones, thyroid, etc and bad sleep hygiene, but it could also just be carer's anxiety and depression for your husband's illness. I take drugs every night for bipolar which help me sleep. I drink no caffeine and I start winding down at 9pm, in bed by 10, asleep by 1030. If I am not asleep by midnight, I take another of my tablets. Is it a "crutch" and am I "dependant" on it? YES! Thankfully, my psychiatrist and GP agree that these crutches have come a long way in the last 20 years and I am better for them.

Hrt.

My partner gave me a weighted blanket for Christmas and I honestly can't believe the difference it has made already. I'd not had too much of an issue dropping off at night (maybe like 2hrs some nights at the worst) but always felt drained with exhaustion for most of the day before absolutely hitting a wall by early evening, also have some poor mental health at times so knew this was a factor. He got it to help in times of anxiety and although I've not had too tough a time with that side of things lately, and not sure I've dropped off to sleep any quicker, but the biggest effect I've noticed is that I just feel more rested and brighter during the day, almost like my quality of sleep has been so much better that I don't feel so 'dulled' during the day if that makes sense? I'd definitely recommend giving it a try.

@sweary do you use the patches all day or just at nighttime?

I line in france and take OTC sleeping pills that are called Donormyl. They are an old style antihistamine and send me to sleep in about 15 mins. I also take vitamin D in a 10000 dose which is also available OTC here. Gotta love France (and Spain).