Is it normal for 3-year-olds to wake up screaming 2-3 times a night

[GnomeStar]

I can't take it any more. He's always been a terrible sleeper, waking up 5-6 times or more a night until he was 2. At 2 years and 8 months he started improving, even slept 10-11 hours straight every now and then. But then he started getting worse again.

Now he's just turned 3 and will wake at least once a night, usually 2 or 3 times, screaming and crying. Often repeating something random over and over again like "I didn't want to go there" or "which box???" so I think he's dreaming a lot? If I try to hold him or comfort him he usually lashes out screaming more and kicking.

And if this happens after 4am, it's usually too close to morning for him to fall back to sleep, so that's it for me. I'm so exhausted. Is this even vaguely normal? I can't take it.

Night terrors? hopefully they pass soon my son "woke up" screaming about a squid climbing the wall he wasnt awake at all but the rest of us were

Night Terrors- my 2.5yr old had them last night- bloody awful, we were awake between 3-5am, eventually she woke herself up and we settled her with milk. But she will thrash about, cry, call out mummy daddy, oh and repeat lots of words she know...all completely at random. My understanding is they grow out of it.....doesnt help me in work today though!

Sounds like night terrors to me too. DS1 had them occasionally at this age and would scream random things that made no sense while not being fully awake. DS2 woke several times a night at this age which drove me insane, but he was always quite cheerful (and wide awake).

It's every night! Has been for four months! 😫😥

Sounds like nightmares/night terrors - DS gets them occassionally (he's nearly 4, has had them since about 2) including occassionally getting out of bed and once trying to get out of the flat!

But they are very occassional (eg, when ill, after moving house, and a few times when its been really hot)

You must be so tired, I would make a GP appt to ask for advice.

My oldest had night terrors from 2.5-4.
Are they roughly at the same time each night?
With night terrors her eyes were open, she was talking/bloody curdling screaming but there was actually no one home behind her eyes. Her body was awake but her brain was still sleeping. So comforting her was actually a waste of time and made her more upset and thrashing.
They happened normally with 2 hrs of her going to sleep, if he remembers them it’s more likely to be a nightmare (which are actually a normal brain development stage)

If so try waking him 15 min before it happens (if it’s a regular time),take him to the loo then back to bed to break that 1st really deep Rem cycle.
We found it helped a lot! (It was a suggestion from our GP)

I could have written this myself op! Been up since 5am after a very restless night and screaming out random things. Mines always been a bad sleeper but the night terrors have been going on for about 6 months now. The GP told me to flick the big light on to sort of snap him out of the dream but I havent been able to do this as he shares a room with his sibling! Might be worth a try for you. I'm praying this is a phase!

Does he still have milk? A social worker friend of mine swears that putting grated nutmeg in milk helps and I have had a good experience of this too - worth a try?

It is fairly common but usually passes within a few months. Apparently it’s because they can’t tell between fact and fiction so dreams are genuinely terrifying for them, my daughters been having them for a few months now usually featuring dinosaurs. My eldest had waking dreams at a similar age about being covered in bees, that was really scary for the both of us! It passed though without any of us really noticing and DD is doing it less frequently now too. It’s been about 5 months x

Mine had night terrors and I found that gently shhing them and talking in a soft voice until they changed position helped. Something about them resettling themselves flipped the switch in their brain stopping the screaming. Not much can help the thrashing ones though. My child grew out of it, but as PP they still happened in cases of extreme tiredness, heat, illness. My sympathies to you

Night terrors. Pain in the ass. DC didnt even realise they were happening and wasnt aware at all. He eventually gre put of them

The only way we could stop one is to wake him as he would thrash and scream for good 30 mins or more. Gently wiping face with wet flannel and saying his name loudly worked and then he would resettle quickly

You could ask your GP to refer to paediatrics. Once you're in, paeds can then refer your DC to a 'paediatric sleep medicine clinic'. There's a clinic at the Evelina Children's hospital in London, in case you live down here.
We did this with DC3. The night before his third birthday, he decided to sleep through the night. By the time the appointment came through, we no longer needed it. However, the service is there. And you should get plugged into paeds and have his sleep patterns looked into. It is incredibly common for kids to just sleep like shit until the age of 4-5, in all honesty. But it is soul-destroying for all of you. I feel your pain. 3 years of no sleep for me. He's 5 1/2 now and I still celebrate my full night's sleep every night!

Thanks everyone. It's nice just to know I'm not alone and he's (probably!) not got some severe long-lasting problem. He already has an appt. with the paediatrician next month so I'll ask her about it then.

You need to get his ears checked out by ENT asap. The only kid I've ever known do this for months on end had ear infections that were difficult to see and the grommits they had fitted had moved so their ears weren't draining properly (their ears were too tight inside to drain without them). They were told 'night terrors' for months by various doctors as ears seeemed 'fine' until they demanded an urgent ENT referral again and the ENT doctor said straight away that the infection was back.

This used to happen with my DS at a similar age. It took us a long time to figure out he was actually asleep as his eyes were open. He used to thrash around and scream; we thought he was having tantrums. I remember he often used to wail, "I want mummy", despite my being right there and repeatedly reassuring him, "I'm here". He seemed to look through us at something we couldnt see and a few times, it genuinely spooked me. I don't know what advice is but we found taking him out of the room helped, sort of brought him "to his senses". It's horrible, and exhausting for you, you have my sympathy OP.

Our DD had this problem on and off till she was 6, until we discovered accidentally that it was peanut butter. Peanut butter on toast for breakfast caused night terrors. Now she isn't allowed any nuts and she sleeps a lot better. Wish we had discovered that when she was three!

So you might want to see if the problem is correlated to a type of food.

You have my sympathies. DS1 had night terrors every night at least twice a night from 18 months old until he was 4.5. He was more often than not also physically sick he was so upset. His were caused by his enlarged adenoids which gave him sleep apnea and hence these triggered the night terrors. Had his adenoids out and that first night after the op was like flicking a light switch.

DS2 is 3 and he shouts and talks in his sleep a lot, sometimes has night terrors. But as he's approaching 4, they seem to be getting a little less frequent. So instead of having 1 good night and 15 bad ones, he's now probably 50:50 and will have a run of 4 good then 4 bad. I'm hoping he grows out of them very soon! His aren't as violent though. With DS1, I used to have to restrain for his own safety it was awful. I got punched, kicked and headbutted on many occasions - he didn't have the slightest clue he was doing it.

Work out exactly when they happen in relation to the going to sleep. It's quite often the same amount of time. Wake them slightly about 15 mins before that time. Sort of resets their body clock.

Night terrors

I was on my knees!

Their brains are processing the events of the day & working overtime! No fun for anyone. It was marginally less disturbing when I slept in their room or them in mine - we were slightly less ‘awake’ but at times as soon as they’d settle they’d be screaming again.

Has there been anything different going on in your lives as it’s usually worse if there is, even if it’s a ‘good’ thing happening.