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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Could be illegal but wwyd?

267 replies

Mollychristmas · 06/01/2020 08:58

This might sound awful (and illegal although I can’t see how anyone would know!) but what would you do in this situation?

We’ve had some Christmas cards delivered to our house addressed to the old owners. This is the first year we have got them so I imagine the old owners redirect has ended. (We have lived here just over 2 years)
From feeling the weight and how flexible the cards aren’t I think a couple might have money/gifts cards/letters in them.
Now for the AIBU, would you open them and hope for a return address?
Or would you just chuck?

I am of the mind to open and see if there is a return address, if not I would donate any money and chuck the cards, DH thinks that’s awful not to mention illegal and we should just chuck them even if there is money etc in them.

We don’t know the old owners new address but I suppose the estate agents might do something although having been over two years now I don’t know if they would or even could help (data protection et al) and it seems a huge amount of hassle for a few Christmas cards. The cards don’t have a return address.

What would you do?

OP posts:
DontCallMeShitley · 06/01/2020 13:54

I would open it in case there is an address inside. Would try to contact the sender if there was money. I would not return to sender automatically in case there is money, or the agents as they may not be able to forward it and if it went missing you might get the fallout eventually.

I tend to hold on to such items until I have completely exhausted all lines of enquiry. Still have a wallet that was dumped (stolen and dumped as no cards or cash) in our hedge about 9 years ago in case the owner ever responds to the message I left on her FB page after I tracked her down, she is not British and I don't know if she is still in the UK or had returned home but there are items in it that might be sentimental.

I open mail for the previous owners and either forward or return with a note depending on what it is, but anything personal is another matter as it may be important to them and I would want them to have it.

Pop2017 · 06/01/2020 13:58

I highly doubt they have money in. If someone was close enough to someone to give money surely they’d know the new address?

Drum2018 · 06/01/2020 14:03

Open them. It's fair to assume that a card arriving at your address is for you so you wouldn't have necessarily checked the name. If there is money in it then you can make an effort to locate either the sender or the previous owner if you wish.

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 06/01/2020 14:10

Certain people at Royal Mail are designated/permitted to open and deal with such returned post.

They'll only do what OP can do herself - open the bloody thing and see if there are any clues inside.
Jeez what a kerfuffle, taking it to the Estate Agents? Their solicitors? The police? GrinGrinGrin
Just bloody open it.

stilldoesntknowwhatshappening · 06/01/2020 14:14

FFS there is no chance of any legal recourse. Can people stop being so ridiculous.

1forAll74 · 06/01/2020 14:21

I would open them all, and see what you find,then go from there. I think that this can happen quite a lot,as when people move house,and nobody knows where they are now.

You might well find letters in some cards,with maybe addresses on etc.
I sometimes write little letters to people,and put them in a cards, telling them bits of news from me etc.

I don't think many people would put money in cards,as it's deemed a bit foolish these days.

nowaypose · 06/01/2020 14:25

Couple things I’d try before opening them (I definitely wouldn’t bin them). Contact the estate agents and also ask your neighbours whether they have a forwarding address. If that fails, I’m assuming you know the previous owners name? Could you do a quick search on FB and if you find them, contact them to let them know you’re the new owner and you have a few xmas cards for them. That second option might sound weird but I had a courier once dump a parcel with someone who lived streets away from me, she contacted me on FB to let me know so I could collect which I was grateful for. It depends on how common their names are I guess, my surname isn’t common so I think I was the only one on FB at the time.

If that fails, I’d pop them back in the postbox with a ‘not at this address’. I wouldn’t bin them at all, that’s bonkers.

AriadnesFilament · 06/01/2020 14:25

Just bloody open them! They moved out 2 years ago ffs!

nowaypose · 06/01/2020 14:26

You could also open them to see if they contain any addresses, probably not though. My Great Aunt sometimes sends cash in the post, I think she’s bonkers to do it but there you go.

Lovemusic33 · 06/01/2020 14:30

Just open them, probably no cash in them, I’m sure no one would send cash in the post who doesn’t know the receiver has moved. They could contain a photograph? Or some cards are just heavier than others.

I would open and if you can’t find a return address then donate any money to charity.

ChrisPrattsFace · 06/01/2020 14:36

‘Not at this address’ and back in the post box

OlaEliza · 06/01/2020 14:39

Have they been opened yet?

INeedNewShoes · 06/01/2020 15:03

The previous owners of my house who moved out in 2013 didn’t bother to redirect mail or to tell people they’d moved. I started off collecting the post and telling them it was available for them to collect. It wasn’t until a parcel arrived that one of them showed up and collected a stack of post. I told them to organise a redirect and that I’d be putting anything back in the post marked ‘return to sender’ from now on, which I did. It got a lot better but I still receive Christmas cards for them.

This year I opened one as there was no return address and there was a phone number in the card. I texted the number and said they hadn’t been at this address since 2013 and that I no longer have any contact details for them. I got a reply saying that the couple hadn’t told anyone in the family that they’d moved!

I know the couple will have had their reasons but I wish they’d sorted their post out so that I don’t have to worry about it when there’s no return address. And if they’ve deliberately gone no contact perhaps they should have told me that in case anyone had asked for their contact details as some people wouldn’t think twice before giving out their contact details.

AdobeWanKenobi · 06/01/2020 15:10

I get post for about 15 different names here as it had been a short term let before we bought it.
I was really diligent for the first year, returned everything as 'not known'. 2 years on I can't be arsed. If Mrs Gill hasn't realised by now she's not been getting statements from HSBC for five years, or Mr Warrilow doesn't wonder why his PPI claims are not progressing when he's using an address he's not lived at for 7 years, then more fool them.

Postie weeds out a lot for me, everything else gets binned.

VanGoghsDog · 06/01/2020 15:39

I open cards for the previous occupants and put them up with my own. If people can't be bothered to tell people or give you a forwarding address, what do they expect to happen?

If there was any money I guess I'd give it to charity.

MuddlingMackem · 06/01/2020 16:12

@BAISum6367 Mon 06-Jan-20 13:48:27

We open letter addressed to the previous tenant who lived in our house as he owes money to various companies and debt collection agencies and we are concerned that if we do not respond to any letters in his name we will have problems when the Bailiffs inevitably come round.

We had this issue when we first moved in to our house. Previous tenants owing money left, right and centre. We were advised to open them and return them to sender with a copy of our council tax bill to prove they no longer lived at the address. It worked very quickly.

Ariela · 06/01/2020 16:15

As previous year's post was on a redirect, Royal Mail will DEFINITELY have a record of this.
I would write 'not known at this address' and dump them back in a post box. Their very efficient department in Northern ireland that deals with undelivered mail will look up your address and 'name of person' on their computer, find the new address and send them all off to the previous occupant in a RM bag, with a letter enticing them to re--set up the redirect (for a fee) or to notify people of their change of address.

Hatetheendof · 06/01/2020 16:50

They'll only do what OP can do herself - open the bloody thing and see if there are any clues inside.
Jeez what a kerfuffle, taking it to the Estate Agents? Their solicitors? The police?
Just bloody open it.

Totally agree, god there are some sanctimonious wallys on here

VanGoghsDog · 06/01/2020 17:59

with a letter enticing them to re--set up the redirect (for a fee)

They had one, it's now been two years, which I think is the longest you're allowed to do it for.

StoneofDestiny · 06/01/2020 18:15

Open and check if there is anything more important than a card
Or write "Return to sender" on them and put in post box

It's not illegal to open something delivered to your home!
Mad to just bin them regardless of contents (as you will continue to get them anyway)

AnneElliott · 06/01/2020 18:36

I agree with opening them Op. we still get mail for the previous owner (7 years we've been here) and bank stuff I return to sender but cards I open and look for a return address.

I sent back a £50 cheque made out to cash to a lady last year who's sent it as a wedding present. She was grateful I'd done that and wrote back to say so.

Corna · 06/01/2020 18:43

All these people saying you shouldn't bin the post as it's illegal to deprive someone of their post, do you really think that you should just endlessly store other peoples post? That has no return address on it and cannot be forwarded? They aren't going to get the post anyway so what use is keeping it?

Ferretyone · 06/01/2020 19:12

@BoswellSolver

Quite right - and in any even were it illegal no one would be prosecuted under these circumstances. It would only be if some form of theft occurred

nannybeach · 07/01/2020 09:11

I am amazed, (why should I be) be the amount of people on her, saying, they would open post, keep any money, if there was any enclosed. You obvioulsy think "finders keepers", thats not the case. You presumably have never dropped a purse, had a burglarly, had money taken that was yours. My youngest DD dropped her purse recently, wasnt even aware till she got a letter from the Police saying they had it. it was completely intact, right down to the small change, unfortunately, the Police dont take details anymore, so she couldnt thank the person. THIS sort of incident actually restores my faith in human nature, thankfully!

stilldoesntknowwhatshappening · 07/01/2020 09:13

Massive difference between someone dropping a purse with their ID in and some drip having their mail delivered to my house.

I've binned loads of cards to the people we rented the house to. It's been over a year since we moved back. I may have sent them to the estate agents or RTS but that's effort when the bin is in the kitchen and they were twats.