To ask how on Earth to overcome this?!

[Disillusioneddaisy]

I've posted about this before under different name(s). It's an issue that is taking over my life and I can't control it.

I suffer from intermittent anxiety that manifests itself in physical symptoms the worst of which being an urgent need to use the loo - both bowel and bladder issues but bowel issues more. I understand the biological reasons for this; stress creates the urge to defecate as part of the fight/flight response. It's primal. I can't control it and when I need to go the urge is very real not just something I imagine.

Because I'm conscious and aware of this I'm finding that the anxiety now rears up in situations where a toilet isn't readily available. So any new place where I don't know where the toilet is. Any place where there isn't a toilet (can no longer take my dogs to the woods because of this). Work meetings where I know it'll be noticeable if I have to leave. Long car journeys are a massive trigger especially motorways.

I've tried everything from meditation to cbt. I plan my routes and try to find out where toilets are before I set off on car journeys or go to somewhere new. But nothing seems to help. I'm actually considering hypnotherapy but it's bloody expansive! I take Imodium but Doctor is reluctant to prescribe me anything to treat the anxiety as this is the only real physical symptom of my anxiety and it only flares up in certain situations. When I'm home or in familiar places/routines then I'm fine.

I've had some amazing advice and support when I've posted here before but now I have a new challenge. There is a family wedding on my partners side in the next few months that requires a three hour car journey and his parents have asked to travel with us. I can just about manage car journeys with dp as he understands my condition and is patient if we need to stop etc. But I will feel so embarrassed with the in laws in the car too. They won't understand and the fear and anxiety will make it even worse. I'm actually contemplating not attending the wedding because of this. For all of his understanding in the past dp is having a bit of a 'you'll just have to deal with it' attitude which isn't helping at the minute.

Seriously I need to conquer this insane toilet anxiety because it's ruining my life! Any tips or experience once again welcome especially for the wedding trip...

I suffer from stress related IBS .
I was off work for a few weeks as my GP felt that it was work related( I had a number of issues at work) anyway, she prescribed Mebeverine for when I returned to work.
As it happened, due to union and HR intervention, I didn’t need to use it as my concerns were dealt with. Mebeverine was prescribed to stop the need to have to rush to the toilet ( as in arse spraying mayhem.)
Avoidance has also been my go to place but I had CBT to deal with my avoidance. The CBT hasn’t helped but my reducing of anxieties /reduced role has.
However, my daughter has had anxieties very similar to yours eg worried about not having access to toilets and would vomit on buses, in lecture halls etc... She was prescribed Sertraline and she has never looked back.

Sorry, not sure I’ve even helped.

seems to be lots of advice and support on here regarding long term issues so I hope you can find some permanent solutions

In regards to the car journey, I would simply have DP say to parents in advance “we’ll set off a bit earlier bc X gets a bit of car sickness on these types of journeys and we’ll need to have a few breaks” - Then map out the route and ensure the breaks are factored in.
I’m sorry DP isn’t being more supportive on this particular occasion but ask him to please do this (setting the journey times and expectations with his parents well in advance) to ensure you can control your anxiety.
Honestly if he won’t then I would travel separately or not go. I Know that doesn’t help in the long term but I simply wouldn’t put myself through it to accommodate giving in-laws a lift.

If you feel hypnotherapy might help, there's a self hypnosis book called "Close your Eyes, Get Free". You can download a sample from Amazon Kindle for free to see if you like the look of it and if so, the whole book wasn't massively expensive.

You have my every sympathy OP as I am the same, and am agoraphobic because of it. I hope you find a way out.

I'm so grateful for everyone's replies. It helps to know I'm not alone. It's a condition that makes you feel very isolated because nobody wants to talk about it due to the embarrassment factor. I will look into some of the suggestions and maybe visit doctor again. I just want to be able to do things that other people can do without having to obsess beforehand. I know it's my mind that is creating these problems for me and I just need to find a way to control it.

I wouldn't even say I suffer from ibs physically. Certainly not in a way that impacts daily life or requires medicating. It's literally the anxiety that sets me off. I have to keep trying to do things though or it will end up beating me.

I would highly recommend EMDR therapy. It is not cheap, but is life changing!