To think I should be concerned

[majormumma]

My best friend has met an amazing guy who she’s madly in love with, he’s a great guy who makes her very happy which I’m so happy to see. He’s met my husband, DS and I on a good few occasions and I always get a good vibe from him.... until...
My friend and I were talking one night and she mentioned he’d made a few jokes around child abuse, I can’t remember the jokes but naturally I don’t think things like that are funny/ subject of jokes. Now I’m just over thinking things, he’s really good with DS (in our company of course) and has since suggested we go for a seaside trip in the summer which then made me question whether there’s an ulterior motive which now reading back does sound really stupid.
I think I’m probably being stupidly over protective, he really seems like a great guy but of course the jokes made me feel a little weird. I’m thinking to just monitor him around DS and trust my gut. Not really sure what I’m asking lol

Who jokes about child abuse?!

When would a joke about it be funny??

As PP advised - they hide in plain sight and test boundaries.

Childless but wanting to go to the seaside with a family - could be innocent, but warning bells worth listening to definitely. Clare's law?

She must have been unnerved by it to
mention it to you.

I don't think making a joke about child abuse makes you a peodophile, but they is not reason for you to leave your dc with this person if you are concerned.

I don't think making a joke about child abuse makes you a peodophile

I agree - but it's not a general joke topic is it?

The PPs who suggested that would-be abusers hide in plain sight and openly test boundaries are spot on. I also happen to agree with you that there's nothing remotely humorous about child abuse, and I wouldn't be at all keen for my DC to spend time around someone who thought there was.

I don't think your concerns sound at all stupid; as a parent it makes sense to err on the side of the caution when weighing benefits against risks. f you're at all uneasy, steer clear. Those instints are there for a reason, OP. Trust them and there will be no harm done.

Wanting a seaside trip with a family who he's not related to and doesn't really know too well?
Weird

Like you, OP I'd be feeling a bit uncomfortable about this and would be cautious.
I wouldn't even take DC with if meeting up with this couple, for the moment at least.

Have any of you heard Frankie Boyle's act?

I would think that he's werid, as child abuse is not funny in the slightest. I wouldn't want to go anywhere with him. Feel and Listen to your gut.

I understand the LOL in your original post, sometimes something really bothers us and we feel a bit silly bringing it up. Especially if we’ve ever been gaslighted or told not to be silly/don’t overthink it etc.

To suggest a friends new boyfriend isa pedophile is a big leap but there’s that nagging feeling, that gut instinct that doesn’t go away... so...we LOL or whatever works so that we can air our concerns without making to big a deal of it.

Personally I’d trust your gut, have less time around him with DS because your child should NOT learn to believe this man is a “safe” adult.

Read The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker.

Stay aware and trust your instincts. Abuse/grooming can happen in a crowded room so doesn’t presume all is ok just because you are present.