Has this happened in your relationship?

[rnamechangesixty]

Hi guys!

Me and my boyfriend have been together a year. It has always been relatively perfect. Last month, there was about 10 days where all we did was argue. I honestly thought I was going to have to leave him, it was like we hated each other. We barely had sex and didn't enjoy being in each other's company one bit.

Now, however, it's back to normal and everything is perfect again?! Has anyone else experienced this weird horrible blip and know what causes it and does it matter? I feel really happy with him now but at the back of my mind I can't understand what happened. Is it normal in a relationship?

Thanks so much!

It can happen, yes. Maybe the stress of Christmas and all the running around, getting run down with work, dark nights. The culmination can make people snappy & miserable. It's the moving on from it that's important.

What do you think was different about that time, were their circumstances that made things a bit more strained?

What were the arguments about?

December can be a stressful time, and I do think you can have blips like this and still continue to grow as a partnership.

@Sparklesocks @covetingthepreciousthings

It wasn't so much as arguments, it was sort of just everything each of us was doing was annoying each other. But it wasn't actually based on anything or for any reason...

Sounds normal to me I see it as a cycle now and know that the days I’m really irritated will pass and normal service resume

Sounds normal

I would try and think of it as a one-off and move forward, if it happens again maybe then reassess where you are. I do think the length of time you’ve been together is key too, the ‘honeymoon’ period tends to wear off 12-18 months in so it might be that things you overlooked about each other earlier on in your relationship suddenly became harder to ignore and maybe got your goat a bit. Try not to worry and see how it goes.

Just wonder what you mean by "relatively perfect"

10 days is a long time to have an argument. Seems like a bit of a red flag.

I would keep an open mind for now but keep an eye on it. Don’t ignore things which you find really irritating - they may be red flags and they are certainly something you should consider as potential future flashpoints.

Do you live together?

Maybe he also thought about jacking you in. The idea scared him and he got his shit together. Same as you. And now all is well in paradise.

@windycuntryside "jacking you in" 🤣 haha yeah I agree! We were both equally sick of each other.

In response to other posters, yeah we are both more aware now and we will keep an eye on it. I shouldn't have said argument, it wasn't arguing. It was a period of not laughing, not feeling close, not enjoying the relationship..

Totally normal, and happening at a totally normal time! You're still mostly in the honeymoon phase, but being together a year you're bound to be irritable or feel you need your own space every so often, especially if one or both of you is stressed. This is going to start happening more often but now you know you recover from it hopefully it shouldn't freak you out. Relationships ebb and flow, as long as it's generally good most of the time you're fine

PS. Just to share my own experience - I remember the first time this happened with my now DH - lasted about two weeks, we were both stressed and in our own heads, then we just clicked out of it

Lack of routine over the Christmas period...even OH breathing makes me want to flip my lid.

I think December and the run up to Christmas is a really bad time to judge anything too much. Most people are knackered, stressed, torn by family loyalties, eat crop, drink too much alcohol etc etc.
But, having said that, now that the dust has settled so to speak, can you reflect and talk this out together maybe? Try and listen to each other’s views on perhaps what went wrong......? Shit happens in a relationship, problems will happen, that’s life. If you can both reflect, maybe apologise for some stuff, that’s really encouraging. But if you can’t broach it or talk it over, sorry OP, that’s a massive red flag.