To ask how you feel being a mum to a young toddler?

[Burntoutboobout]

Posting for traffic

I have an 18 month old dd, she still breastfeeds constantly, eats very little ‘real’ food and wakes up anywhere between 3 and 6 times a night, sometimes more.

I. Am. Burnt. Out.

At the moment I hate being a mum, I’m so tired all the time but struggle to sleep at night. I study 3 days a week so dd is in nursery during those days but I have a lot of revision/coursework I do at home. So far I’ve managed but being off for Christmas with no nursery I have managed to get zero work done, I head back next week and have 3 assignments due, I honestly just feel like dropping out. This was a career change for me as my previous job is the same as OHs and consists of very long hours unless you freelance. I gave it up so I could be there for dd as OH travels a lot for work.

OH has been off work for about 3 weeks now and and is very little help to me. He’s unbelievably messy, lazy, doesn’t help with nights or get up with dd in the mornings. For example dd had a bad night last night and was up every hour and a half, I was exhausted. I asked OH to get up with her and he agreed, then proceeded to leave her with me while he had a 30 minute shower. I decided to get up and have a coffee, made it and OH came and took it off me to drink himself and then ordered me to go back to bed even though I was wide awake. I’ve had 18 months of broken sleep, 1 year of preparing dd 3 meals a day, getting her dressed, doing all laundry/cleaning/nursery runs. I just feel like packing a bag and disappearing.

I feel like I hate my OH even though he is good to us. He gives me an allowance every month which I use on some bills and then food for us all, clothes for dd and my travel. We live in an expensive part of London and he pays all rent and most bills so he does have a lot of pressure. Dds nursery fees are covered by a bursary.

Disclaimer: I am already on antidepressants for ppd and ppa, but I don’t feel like this is that. I just feel so tired and done. When does it start to get easier?

Sorry that was long!

Also how are day naps?

A perfect day for us would be. Up at 6.30, breakfast at 7. Out for a walk/ activity about 9.30. Wear her out as much as possible. Nap in cot for two hours at 10.30-12.30/1. Lunch. Then bath (always needs a bath or won’t sleep) and bed at 7. We have to turn the tv and just wind her down completely after dinner!

Honestly, as the mum of a 12-month-old I feel great. My child sleeps through the night and is in a good routine during the day in terms of food and naps. My child is no longer breastfed so my husband shares the load pretty equally.

I can imagine your experience of motherhood must feel very different. I'm all in favour of breastfeeding, but your particular experience sounds stressful - can you night wean, and take some advice from a lactation consultant about how to encourage your little one to take more solid food without stopping BF (perhaps solids before boobing, as a rule)? Can you think about gently encouraging your child to self-settle so you get more sleep?

Hope you get sorted. It must be exhausting.

Sounds tough. It does get easier, I promise, but burn-out is real for mums of toddlers. Mine are 3 and 4, so it's getting better but then I'm due in March again...
As for marriage, someone wise once told me that marriage isn't 50% of the work each. It's 90% each - you each feel like you are doing 90% of the work, especially when raising kids. He has a lot on his plate, you have a lot on yours, and it's hard to nurture a marriage when you have a baby and barely have time for yourself, never mind your OH! Don't give up, keep trying and hoping and you'll get to a full nghts sleep eventually.

Sleep training saved my relationship! Haha
2 babies under 2 and both now sleep 7pm-7am very consistently! Got my evenings back with OH and it's been a life saver.
It's hard at first, hearing them cry. But honestly after 3 nights they just slept through. Both from 6/7 months.
You must be so exhausted :(
Definitely night wean and sleep train x