To be at home on my days off while DH is on nights?

[Idolovechocolategimmygimmy]

It's my day off today. I work full time weekdays and twice per month I have to work 6 days with one day off. My husband works shifts and he is on nights this weekend. I have a toddler and a baby on the way. I got up and got toddler ready and went out yesterday to allow DH to sleep. Today I'm shattered, and just want to be at home but might pop out later on. I really, now trust me really need a shower. Only shower we have is the en-suite and the family bathroom is next to our room and filling it is more noisy than the shower and takes longer so I jumped in the shower, and risked leaving the toddler with a kids tablet and tv thinking I'll be 5 minutes. But she came looking for me. She wasn't noisy just came in the loo and spoke to me normally. This woke DH and he's not happy about it. When I don't need a shower I'm tip toeing around the house anyway trying to prevent any toddler tantrums or making any noise at all. Anything seems to wake him. AIBU to want to be at home on my day off?
Oh he does well gel ear plugs and eye mask but according to him when I open a door to get clothes for example it's too bright and too loud.

if I'm in she will only have me

This is what you need to crack if you need things to change, it's too easy an excuse for everything DD-related to fall on you otherwise.

Can DH sleep in another quieter room rather than main bedroom with only shower? Would eliminate any issues with you needing clothes or a wash which are fairly basic requirements, and would give him bit more peace and respect his night shift sleeps?

I work nights as a nurse and I’m 20 weeks pregnant so knackered. We have a 3 year old who my husband looks after on a weekend if I’ve done nights. He’s never up and dressed by the time I go to bed lol but to be honest a 10 min shower isn’t going to keep me awake for long, nor does it wake me up most of the time. I’m sure your husband could cope if you had a shower whilst he was in bed. If not, can he not watch your dd until you’re sorted? It wouldn’t take long and he would still get a decent sleep. I think night workers sometimes think they are entitled to sleep (I can say this as I am one!) but you have to understand that family life has to go on and there is going to be noise with young children. Most men sleep through night time awakenings so I can’t see the difference in the day time!

YANBU to stay at home when he’s sleeping.

You are however VVU to take a shower in the en-suite (when you’re not even going out) and allowing your toddler to wake him up. I work nights sometimes & would be really upset that my partner had been so thoughtless and frankly selfish.

IME I feel awful when I’m on nights & everY bit of sleep is precious, but once I wake up I find it very difficult, almost impossible, to get back to sleep. Now he’ll probably be feeling shit until tomorrow when he can go back to bed.

Doesn't sound like OP had much choice though Crispyturtle, she had an upset stomach and needed a shower. It doesn't sound like it's something she would normally do, more of an emergency situation. I worked nights for years and you do have to accept there will be the odd daytime disturbance if an unusual or emergency situation arises, it's a hazard of trying to sleep while everyone else is having a life!