Ex and DS Christmas and birthday

[bubbles1000]

Sorry in advance if this is long but I need to get it out.

DS is 3. Ex only saw him once near Christmas (not any of the actual days.) He has contact once a month - his choice. it was once a week but he wanted to reduce which means I've had to change jobs as I was meant to work the days he had him, and now he's bailed on that. He didn't get him anything for Xmas or do anything with him, when he does have him once a month he takes him to extended family members houses as he can't cope with him on his own.

DS's birthday is in a couple of weeks and he won't be seeing him over that either, and I doubt he won't get him anything given how Christmas went. Ex's family got DS stuff but not him.

Ex has a girlfriend who he has another child with and this is the reason for the reduction in everything, she has caused issues and been nasty to the point I had to get a solicitor involved...

DS is at an age now where he starts to notice and understand things - I just don't know what to do in this situation any more..... if anyone has any tips or advice on how to handle it I would really appreciate it!! Thank you

Sounds like he will eventually just fade out of your sons life. He can only pretend for so long before he gets tired of it. I would just not contact him again and hope he doesn't contact you either.

My Ds was 3 and got it wasn’t right.

I took him so he could see Santa with him. Ex was late again Ds said to me let’s go. I knew at that point it had to change.

Kids know who cares.

It makes no sense he has no time with other Ds aa he sees him alll week ???

How does your son get on with his grandparents and extended family? Whilst it’s understandable not to want him to go to the wedding abroad it does sound like she’s making an effort
She’s stuck with an idiot of a son but not wanting to lose contact with her grandchild, not easy
Have you sorted maintenance to take into account his reduced physical support?
I think it’s a balancing act allowing your child to have a relationship with his extended family that is his own but supporting him whilst he discovers his dad is an idiot
Not easy I’d talk to his grandma and explain why he can’t go to the wedding. X
If it had been in this country it could have been doable but abroad with a deadbeat dad & wicked step mum .... no chance

@Pumpkinpie1 basically yes. I'm still more than happy for ex's mum to come and see DS when she is around visiting because I have no intention of stopping their relationship. But even she doesn't understand the reasons fully even tho she knows about everything that ex and his gf have done/are still doing....

@Starlight456 exactly - he told me he wasn't getting enough time with his other child, even tho he lives with them (gf and child) so at that point I decided to stop fighting. Why should I force a man to have a relationship with DS who clearly has no interest in him.

But like I say he continues to see him the bare minimum so he can save face with his family just to keep the peace. Otherwise his mum and his family would find out what kind of man/dad he is and he wouldn't allow that