Nightmare neighbour or me being dramatic?

[Chuckle99]

Neighbour is unbearable to live next to. I am 39 weeks pregnant and already worried she’s going to wake my newborn up when he’s here. So she’s a single mother with two children aged about 3 and 5. I have multiple issues with living next to her please tell me if I’m being nit picky or I actually do live next to a nightmare neighbour please. Constantly has drug dealer boyfriend park outside of our house and always pulls up with music blaring (he doesn’t live there). He’s even thrown cig butts into my garden. Kids are always charging around house banging and screeching. She is constantly screaming at them swearing and being aggressive. She is smoking weed just before she picks kids up which I personally think is wrong and makes our house smell too. Have heard her have sex multiple times, wouldn’t mind but even I can tell she’s faking it🤣 blaring music out in a morning and her front and back garden are covered in rubbish making me feel embarrassed when I have people round. AIBU or is she actually hellish to live next to? If so any advice? Can’t go speak to her as she doesn’t seem the type to reason with and don’t want to make things awkward. Also think she’s housed by council as seen in communities workers go in so no landlord to speak to. Help me please.

Do you know if she is a tenant of any description? I would be making complaints if she is.

Make a complaint to her housing association.

Honestly just move, it won’t change it won’t get better, from my own experience of similar it will just get worse.
I had a similar neighbour, shouting swearing, could hear her shouting in my bedroom with the windows closed from opposite side of the road.
People would clear the rubbish, it would just come back get cleared again and straight away it would pile up, dog poo everywhere, people complained, the council wrote a few generic letters, nothing changed.
Neighbours were scared of her and her friends, as children got older there were lots of all night parties.

So,
She is a single mother
Her boyfriend (who has a car and smokes) deals drugs
She plays music
her children, who are young, move around their house
constantly shouts and swears
smokes weed which makes your house smell
has sex
piles up rubbish
rents her house
you won't talk to her because she's not 'the type'.

No idea what you're going to do.

I had to live in London when DS was newborn. There were people walking past our house, cars and frequent emergency vehicle sirens all times of night and day.

Thank goodness we now live in quiet close where a cat walking past every other afternoon is as much excitement we see.

when she is having sex play Je t'aime loudly
or Bolero
very off putting
complain about druggie boyfriend if you are certain he is dealing
Talk to their land lord/council housing officer
but remember you might get someone worse

You can report her to the council but don’t expect them to do much or any time soon

Definitely move before the baby arrives.

Agree with tara

Perhaps you could come to a mutual agreement, you put up with her small dc noise, and she'll put up with the noise of your newborn.

Have you not thought about contacting children's services? If the drugs, shouting and agressiveness is as bad as you state then surely there is a risk to the children?

Actually I think a lot of that is nitpick
Boyfriend parks in front of your house, so what? Not your road.
Boyfriend plays music in car, so what? Presumably it stops when he exits the vehicle.
Kids run around the house? So will yours in a couple of years.
She plays music in the mornings? Unless its 3 in the morning, so what?
Her smoking weed falls into the none of your business category. If she is doing it before picking up the kids you can bet the school will have smelt it. Let them deal with it
What else?
Noisy sex? Unless she is at it all day every day, try to ignore it.
The rubbish in the garden is unpleasant
If she is a council tenant they could ask her to remove It.
Most of this stuff is petty on it's own.
You think she is a bit common. Either learn to ignore or contact your estate agent

Oh and community workers and council housing do not necessarily go hand in hand!

That sounds horrendous, I couldn't bear to live next to someone like that, I'd be terrified.

I barely hear neighbours where I live but years ago, lived in a small two bed terraced house (our first house), and you could hear everything, the walls were so thin. I was actually fortunate that the neighbours on either side were decent people so it wasn't terrible. When mine was newborn I was aware he could be heard ! No one complained. Here is peaceful by comparison, at the front of the house I can hear cars and two buses go up our road but that's not a problem.

I agree about contacting Children's Services, it doesn't sound like a very safe environment for kids. They wouldn't tell the woman who called them. However these issues take time to resolve and you have to live there for now.

Any possibility of you moving?

You can complain to the council / housing association about the rubbish.
Report the suspected drug dealer to the police.
The rest just sounds like normal neighbour noise tbh. My first house was a new build and I could hear my neighbour using her en suite in the night. Obviously it wasn’t her fault but it wasn’t the best.

I agree with the poster who said move.

She will never change. It will get worse as the kids get older.

Do you rent? If so, move asap.

She sounds like a bad neighbour. Not quite nightmare level, but definitely a bad neighbour. I would consider moving.

It does sound very stressful for you, and I agree that the only solution here would be to move house if you can. And I also agree that it sounds like it might be appropriate to call Children's Services, on account of the drug dealing boyfriend (if this really is happening and not just gossip/rumours).

I have pretty much the exact issues with my scummy neighbours as you, OP. But add in regular domestics where the police have to attend.
I've contacted social services about worries over her kids and they don't give a shit.

I'm 33wks pregnant and already worried about my baby having to breathe in their weed smoke coming through my vents (can't close them) and stressing about the sheer amount of noise they'll create once the baby is here.

As someone mentioned upthread, you could end up with someone worse if you manage to get her kicked out.
They almost burned my house down and this didn't even cause a concern for the council. They just refused to pay for the damage and said they couldn't force next door to pay either. As a homeowner I was left to pay for repairs out of my own pocket while watching next door get all theirs done for free