To have no friends or partner

[Notlonely]

Namechanged for this post.

I used to be really sociable, although it was often me who put in the leg work to arrange to see people.
I've had a few bad experiences, husband slept with friend of a friend, then years later a friend slept with my long term partner.
I lost trust a bit and just naturally ended up keeping to myself a lot more.
I've realised that actually no-one really contacts me to arrange to see me.
I'm a single mum, have a lovely relationship with my kids and my parents. Am now civil with ex husband. Have a career i love.
I don't miss having friends or a partner now, I feel I have plenty of contact with people in general life, I don't need to 'let anyone In ' as such. I love my own company, love being in my own house.
Is this super unhealthy? I'm so much happier without the drama/bitching/backstabbing that comes with having people around me that i dont even miss socialising/sex etc.

I get you OP. If it makes you happy then carry on. Husband and friends are highly overrated.

You sound like you have a lovely, happy life! Carry on - also, not the point of your thread, but I’d love to be your friend, you sound so content and together!

It’s sad that you equate friends with bitching and back stabbing. I have probably 5 real friends who I have leaned on and trust without question - don’t get me wrong I’ve lost friends too, I’m Not naive to the issues. Personally I think good friends are worth their weight in gold.

I get you on the friends part. I do have a few, but only see them once or twice a year as we moved.
I just prefer my own company, people are to bitchy and superficial these days! Only persons company I can tolerate is my DHs and that’s still a push. 🙈

I'm the same. Great kids. Lovely dog. I don't have the time or inclination for anything outside of that. My ex H basically blackened my character to anyone we both knew who he had any influence over and it worked. The people I cared about think badly of me now so 🤷‍♀️. I don't care anymore. I'm better off alone.

Well, it's not "unreasonable" at all, and if you're happy then crack on, but I don't know if that's healthy long-term.

Not unreasonable if youre happy like that. Some people need lots of people in their life and others not so much

I've good friends I can meet for a coffee and chat. We met 8 years ago on the school run.
But not prepared to get super close to them, so i totally get what you mean.
One is a bit of a taker and also very judgy about others lifestyle choices.
Im very confident and secure and just as happy to move on now our kids are in different secondary settings.
Things is our DC were best friends. They would like to keep it going, but that's awks because she'll never give her kid the opportunity to do that successfully (eg she'd not drive him to my house for a playdate), so I think I'm showing my kid how not to be taken advantage of, even by friends. Getting walked over in the name of friendship isn't super healthy option either, neither is the drama some friends want tk bring along.

My point being, i totally get that friends are a nice added bonus, but totally not essential to me either to maintain a fulfilled life.
I don't think thats unhealthy at all.

Totally get you op. Sorry you had to go through all that. As regards friends a few used me or let me down too so I tend to stick to my own immediate family and work etc. Once I am around people I can't stand the bitchy comments etc (not everyone though) I am very much someone who is happy alone.

Maybe it's good to have a few friends but decent ones. Maybe in time.

Thankyou all so much for such kind words.
I'm sure a big part of it is just knowing I can't put myself in any more situations where I can get hurt like that again. I feel like I've been lucky, I've been in love, I've been married, I've had children, I've experienced all the feelings! It didn't work out the way I hoped but I'm ok. My dog ADORES me so I never sleep alone! I feel content and safe and I laugh a lot. I think I'll just allow myself to stay in this bubble for as long as I'm happy. And if that's forever that's ok too. Thanks again :-)