Would you leave your child to freely run around a busy cafe?

[riverside277]

Interested in others thoughts on this as I'm sure I can't be the only one who finds this unreasonable. I met up with a friend today to catch up and we went into a nice cafe for some lunch and a drink. We were sat in front of a mother, grandmother a young girl and boy. The girl, possibly about 5? was constantly up and down and literally keep running laps round our table when we were eating, banging into our chairs, kept touching my coat and just generally being a nuisance. She also started climing on the window bit where other people were sitting trying to eat and banged straight into another ladys chair. I turned around to see who this little girl was with as I hadn't noticed before this and as I was stunned no parent had said anything especially after banging into peoples chairs and the mother just looked back at me with a stern look on her face as if to say what are you looking at/what is your problem (I never said anything or gave a funny look, just glanced around). There was waiting staff up and down carrying hot food whilst this girl is running riot. It is dangerous and not the time or place for this behaviour. I would certainly, and I'm sure many others would also tell the child to sit down at the table and let them know it's dangerous and understand they are being a nuisance,. I know by the looks on others faces that she was bothering other people but I just think some people think their children are angels and free to do whatever they please and everyone should tolerate it. I know they get bored but come on, the parent never once told them to stop or warned of what may happen. Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed be a bit annoyed by this? What would you of done if you were the parent?

Just me then? 🤣

You needed to say something at the time - bit pointless now.

I actively discourage it, but my DD1 (who is 5 and has autism) is a very restless child and literally won't sit in a seat for more than a few minutes, so going to a café / restaurant is a bloody nightmare, so she invariably ends up wandering off. I wouldn't let her bother other tables or get in the way of wait staff though. But it is easier said than done trying to keep small children still in public places. Do you have kids OP?

No YANBU. Obviously we dont know the full story as to whether the child had special needs or any other factors in this situation but ultimately it boils down to safety. If someone had spilt a hot drink/plate or food on her as she collided with them then that would entirely be the fault of the parent. Its definitely irresponsible. Particularly if they didnt even attempt to get the child to sit down.

I'd have said something to the staff and/or the parent. Totally unacceptable.

I wouldn’t let my children do what you are describing. Sometimes if there is a space out of the way I’ll let them get down and play with their cars on the corner. But in general I avoid going to cafes with them because they’re too young not to want to run around

I bet the negligent parents would sue the cafe if their little darling got hurt. Totally unreasonable, why we avoid child friendly cafes

Yeaaaa its bloody ridiculous. Some people dont feel they can say something (older people) and have possibly the highlight of their day ruined.

Waiting for somebody on here to diagnose everybody in the cafe with 'SN'.

@I8toys she's asking for peoples opinions if you read her whole post, so your comment isnt helpful.

OP the running around doesnt bother me so much, its the banging into others that annoys me. Its not the kids fault, its the mothers who doesnt do anything about it.

This sort of behaviour annoys the hell out of me.
Yes I know that there are children with SEN but so very much of it? I doubt it.
I genuinely believe that some parents think “ whatever” and just don’t care at all.

I wouldn’t mind so long as I could see the parent was making an effort to keep her under control. Some kids are very energetic and just want to be up and down the whole time. If the parent was doing their best to stop her disturbing others I’d let it go.

Sounds like her mother wasn’t even paying attention to her daughter. That would annoy me and I probably would have politely said something.

This is why I rarely go to places that let children in. The running and screaming isn't what I want to experience while trying to have something to eat/drink.

Don't get me started on pubs!

I agree with pp I’d have said something at the time, or asked the staff to speak to the mother of the child was preventing you from enjoying your meal.

No, I wouldn’t let mine run/wander around a cafe or restaurant. Other people won’t appreciate it and it’s unfair.

God I hate these type of arsehole parents who think it’s totally fine to let their kids wreck everybody else’s peace. If mine carried off like that I wouldn’t take them until they were old enough to sit still and behave. Bone idle parenting and massively entitled.

I understand your annoyance but you should have said something at the time . I would do and have done in the past . If a child has sn then the parents need to develop strategies to ensure their children behaviour doesn’t impact negatively on other people’s enjoyment of their meal .

Dd knows if she doesn't sit on her arse when told we will leave.

My sister had 5 boys, when they were younger a trip to the supermarket never mind a cafe was horrendous. They would run about putting stuff In the trolley, fighting with each other. She would walk about as if she wasn't with them. Looking back she was probably demented.

My DD sits nicely, she doesn't run around, shout or anything like that and if she did we would leave.

But I've been taking her to cafes and restaurants since she was a few months old and have always established the requirements for behaviour. DD enjoys eating out and people watching in cafes so she behaves.

I think if your children cannot sit quietly and enjoy the experience then You should stick to family themed restaurants like McDonalds and not inflict your badly behaved children on other people.

Mine tries he's 3. Keep him busy with food, jigsaws, interact with him ect. Kids aren't built to sit still for long. If I want a nice sit down coffee ect I wait till I'm child free or keep it brief. I don't how parents can enjoy their time with sprogs running riot.

YANBU. I take all sorts of colouring in etc bribery with me and will leave if my DCs behave like that.

I don’t think you’ll get many people saying “YABU I love letting mine sprint around tables under the feet of staff carrying hot drinks, great day out for all of us.”

Are you sure the woman who glared at you was the child’s mother? Maybe she thought you were and that’s why she was glaring

Having worked in a cafe during my university years this was my nightmare scenario. I’d dread accidentally spilling a hot coffee or pot of tea on the child, another patron, or myself if a child accidentally bumped into me.

Because of these health and safety issues, a good cafe manager should be having a quiet word to the parents. If you didn’t feel like having a quick word to parents then talk to staff. They’d probably appreciate your support.

Awful parenting. I’d have glared until They felt bad enough to intervene.

I hate this kind of thing. If you can’t control your kid stay at home. Being able to sit down at a table is social skill all kids need to learn (albeit for a very small amount of time when they’re tiny). If parents can’t relax with young kids how do they feel other diners feel. You’re not being unreasonable at all OP. So many parents are so inconsiderate.

YANBU. I absolutely hate that. My children were always well behaved even at a young age and I would always try and keep them occupied. Things like, take them on a tour round the place or outside to look at the surroundings whilst we await food. I understand it’s not always possible and that there are children who struggle in cafes so the simplest thing to do is not to take them if you know that this will be a trigger or take something to keep them occupied