People using blue badges in parent spaces, when disabled spaces are free!

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Hi all, I don’t want to start a debate. If all disabled spaces are taken I have absolutely no problem with somebody with a blue badge using a parent parking bay. They are in greater need but yesterday in the supermarket, the majority of disabled spaces were free. Only 2 were taken yet someone with a blue badge parked in the parent spaces. I’ve seen this happen in the same place a few times.

The disabled and parent spaces are opposite each other with a path in the middle and pretty much equally as close to the shop so no difference there.

Both my children have autism, we don’t have a blue badge so I kinda rely on the parent spaces to get my kids in and out safely and close to the shop as my son is prone to bolting off.

Aibu to be annoyed?

Like I said I wouldn’t bat an eyelid if the disabled spaces were free but they pulled in to a parent space rather than a disabled?

Even though my children have grown up and left home I fell I deserve it.

Oh god, you’ve had to get through the obnoxious teenage years, so you have definitely earned the right to p&c parking. In my head that reads as Pernod & Coke.

Your post is very hypocritical:

We don’t have a blue badge as I would feel like we would be judged as to the outside my two Dc look ordinary but my eldest has no sense of danger, runs off, will bolt if he hears a noise he doesn’t like. It’s so hard.

Yes, it is so hard.

You have no idea how someone's disability affects them - they may have weakness in one side of their body so can only turn in one direction safely.
It will be safer not to expose this weak side to traffic, preferably a walk way in case they fall into oncoming traffic on this weak side suddenly, even with the aid of a stick or crutches.

Their eye sight may be affected if they have a neurological condition - may only have reliable sight out of one eye so obviously your spouse will park accordingly to make things easier for you.

They may need to get a ramp, frame, walker, or other equipment out which may be easier out of one side of the car.

There are literally thousands of things that can be done to make their day easier.

You worry about being judged but you are very happy to judge these people who are living with pain, disability, and prejudice constantly - hypocritical. Living with the first 2 is bad enough, please don't expose them to the third again.

Whilst it may seem 'closer' or 'easier' for you, an able-bodied person, when the Blue Badge holder looks at it they see it in a completely different way to you and will do what is easier for them so please don't judge them again.

Excuse me! As a blue badge holder I often do park in p&c when my daughter is at school and it says in my info booklet I got with my badge that I can do!

My Mum was once taking my elderly, dying Grandma into Sainsburys in her wheelchair to the store pharmacy. She had a blue badge and all the spaces were full so she parked in parent and child. She got accosted by some screaming lunatic entitled 'mummy' who scared my grandmother so much she was shaking. How the hell else was my mum meant to get my Grandmother into her wheelchair when disabled is full? Grow up. Having a child was your CHOICE.

DISABILITIES ARE NOT A SODDING CHOICE!!!!!!

Why would two children with autism need a larger space? Surely you can open the doors for them to get out of the car and hold their hands to the trolley station? I wish P&C spaces were dumped and all spaces made a little wider tbh.

Is that a joke penny?

Why would two children with autism need a larger space? Surely you can open the doors for them to get out of the car and hold their hands to the trolley station?

Holy shit, are you serious?? PennyArcade

It is of course entirely possible for some autistic children to follow instructions and comply safely with that procedure (on some occasions) ...

But is also entirely possible for a child with autism to be distressed and anxious by a trip in the car. They may need to have ear defenders put on before getting out of the car or need help putting their coat on after the seatbelt is off, but that can't be done outside the car because they might run, and of course getting the child in or out of the car may need a significantly highly level of physical support than other children, requiring the adult in charge to be able to lean into the back seat etc etc. Multiply that be 2 and you might just begin to comprehend why a wider parking space might be necessary ...ffs

GertiMJN has dedicated a whole paragraph as to why it may be difficult for a child with autism so why doesn't this apply to people with disabilities?..........ffs!

But is also entirely possible for a child with autism to be distressed and anxious by a trip in the car. They may need to have ear defenders put on before getting out of the car or need help putting their coat on after the seatbelt is off, but that can't be done outside the car because they might run, and of course getting the child in or out of the car may need a significantly highly level of physical support than other children, requiring the adult in charge to be able to lean into the back seat etc etc. Multiply that be 2 and you might just begin to comprehend why a wider parking space might be necessary ...ffs

GertieMJ. Yes im serious. Why would a parent with two children with autism need a larger space to park their car? Children with autism don't need extra space for a wheelchair right? I have managed many foster children with additional needs in a "normal" parking space - as do most parents. Why does any child need extra space in a car park if they don't rely on bulky equipment for mobility?

Ear defenders can be put on inside the car. Nobody needs extra width outside a car to put on ear defenders FFS!

Even small babies in car seats can be removed from a car if the parent parks at the back of a car park, where nobody seems to want to park. How would parents of young children manage if , God forbid, p&C spaces were dumped? I'm sure they would find a way.... as we always have. P&C spaces are not needed. Anyone facing real difficulties with parking in a "normal" space are given blue badges.

I witnessed a parent screaming at a young couple because they parked in a P&C space without a child. It turns out they had a very elderly lady with them - a grandparent. The lady was at least 90 years old, very frail and needed a wheelchair. She had become very Ill, suddenly and a blue badge hadn't yet been issued. Why would a mobile child with a supervising adult be more deserving of a wider parking space than an elderly, frail lady with zero mobility - without a wheelchair?

P&C like Disabled spaces are wider - so really it should only be people who need the wider spaces to be able to park there. Some shops / car parks have realised this and have started to change the name of P&C to ‘parent and baby’ or ‘parent and toddler’ spaces.

If you don’t want to start a debate why are you posting in AIBU?

P&C spaces have no legal status. If you’re unlucky enough to be disabled, you deserve to be able to park where you want as long as you’re not causing an obstruction imo.

Kinda off topic but my local Sainsbury’s has 4 P&C spaces and 30 disabled spaces (yes I’m sad enough to have counted them - 3 rows of ten spots). At peak times the P&C spaces are always full yet 6 cars is the most I’ve ever seen in the 30 disabled spots.

I always wonder what, if any, logic they applied.

PennyArcade
I wont waste my time repeating myself. You are a paragon of parenting all children with disabilities and complex needs and other mere mortal parents who may struggle are useless failures. Happy?

And ItsReallyNotOk I have no idea what you are getting at.

GertiMJN has dedicated a whole paragraph as to why it may be difficult for a child with autism so why doesn't this apply to people with disabilities?..........ffs!

I was responding to PennyArcade's specific post about autistic children.

And for the record, people with autism and many other non physical conditions can be included under "disabled". That is not a term restricted to physical disability.

The OP wasn't saying bb users shouldn't use p&c spaces per se, she presumed that the bb spaces which were available at the time would have met their needs, so didn't understand why they weren't using them. There have been a number of posters who have calmy offered pissible explanations. Hth

Possible not pissable explanations

PennyArcade
I wont waste my time repeating myself

Unless you can come up with a suitable explanation please don't bother wasting anyone's time. Not interested in your ridiculous entitlement 😏

This post is by a mother explaining why her autistic son needs to use a blue badge space despite not having a wheelchair..... for her, (obviously every case is different), it’s about close proximity to the shop /avoiding travelling through the car park.

forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=4614621

@GertiMJN - my post was giving you a compliment - you'd actually taken the time to think of the impact on both the parents and children and written a whole paragraph of reasons why it is difficult for children with autism getting in and out of cars at supermarkets.
I then thought wouldn't it be great if everyone was as kind as you and did the same for people with disabilities?

And for the record, people with autism and many other non physical conditions can be included under "disabled". That is not a term restricted to physical disability.
And for the record I became ill in 2004 and not all of my illness is physical, and in that time I've spent years in hospitals reading their literature on terminal illness and disability so I may now have a bit of an idea!

The OP wasn't saying bb users shouldn't use p&c spaces per se, she presumed that the bb spaceswhich were availableat the time would have met their needs, so didn't understand why they weren't using them. There have been a number of posters who have calmy offeredpissibleexplanations. Hth

This poster (me) wasn't being anything other than kind and complimentary to you.

And Happy New Year to you!
As this is the last one for me I'm taking the opportunity to say it as much pissible and whilst it's still earlish January and acceptable to!

possible not pissible but pissible is such a great word!

Happy New Year

HTH

The disabled spaces were probably all fl when they arrived, which is why they parked there, but emptied by the time you got there. Not rocket science really

Could be as simple as not realising that they aren’t all disabled bays.

PennyArcade some children with autism do have wheelchairs for safety reasons.

Some need a wide space because when they get distressed it is very difficult to get them in the car. Think biting, punching, hair pulling, head butting and other distressed behaviours. Carers need the space to keep themselves safe.

Some need a wide space because they need fastening into specialist harnesses and may not be co operative whilst you are doing it.

Some need a wide space so it makes it easier for them to get themselves into the car when they feel very anxious and so avoids distressed and unsafe behaviour in the car park. It also means the carer can give them space and avoid getting right into their space which may cause anxiety and so distressed behaviour.

Some children with autism have to be held onto constantly, perhaps needing to wear a safety harness and it is difficult to do this/ get the harness on if there is not sufficient space around the car.

Some older children with autism are as big as adults . Some adults also need space for the reasons given.

On saying all that if the OP thinks her child would qualify she should apply for a bb and not be moaning about where people with bb park. Historically people with autism who need a bb have not always been given one but it has become more straightforward recently.

As a disabled blue badge holding parent of young DD disability trumps being a parent as regards needs and allowancesbeing made. I spend my life in agony due to repeated medical negligence. My life is made a fucktonne harder than predisability due to no fault or action of my own. If your DC are disabled apply for a blue badge, order your food online to be delivered as i have to (yet sadly the supermarket is one of my social activities, tragic i know so i still go there occasionally)
In a nutshell, i did not choose to be disabled. You chose to have kids. Disability trumps parenthood on the 'who would a decent person help most' scale.

And thankyou to the posters sticking up for us disabled folk.

Penny we are just awaiting my severely autistic son,s blue badge he's just been awarded high rate care and high rate mobility under SMI rules so.is automatically( in my town) anyway entitled ,we don't necessarily need the larger space but we do need the close proximity to shops as he has zero awareness of danger and whilst yes he can run as fast as the wind,straight under a car

I’ve got a blue badge for my children. I couldn’t give a hoot what people think or say to me. My son needs it and they don’t give it out willy nilly!

He’s severely autistic and it’s been a game changer for us. We can park in the city near to where we need to be so he can now access things we never would take him too.

Oh and even though both my children have ASD I only applied for one!

Oldest doesn’t really need it if I take him out on my own. Youngest definitely does.