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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think there is no way my SIL will manage to run the marathon?

257 replies

edsheeransgingerbeard · 03/01/2020 21:59

This will probably make me sound like a horrid unsupportive cow, which I'm not, honest!
We were all hugely surprised yesterday when SIL revealed that she has secured a charity London Marathon place. She currently does zero exercise, refuses to walk anything other than short distances as she finds it too much hard work, and is fairly unhealthy generally. She hasn't done any kind of running / jogging for over 20yrs (and never a marathon)
It is obviously fantastic that she wants to start training, and has a goal to aim for. But to go from zero to 26 miles in 4 months is madness, is it not?
I'm a huge lazy glutton right now. I have run a few half marathons over the last few years and I think I could probably get round a half marathon course by the end of April if I started training next week. But not a whole marathon.
AIBU to think that a very unfit person who does not exercise in any way at all can successfully train for a marathon in just over 4 months? Confused

OP posts:
NotwhereIshouldbe · 04/01/2020 00:42

She is mad! My friends regularly run half marathons and recently completed a full marathon which they trained for a year for. They said it’s another level completing a marathon and they would never do it again. There is a time limit for completing one too so you might find your SIL may not finish it.

EskiVodkaCranberry · 04/01/2020 00:42

Kirsten has a point!Wink my dh runs sub 3hour marathons and does train for all of a few weeks beforehand. He's naturally good at running. He doesn't look like he would be and he has a sedentary office job too. It's impossible to write anyone off, maybe she will flunk it or maybe not. Horses for courses, marathons are easier for some than others.

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 04/01/2020 00:51

I really not sure what point you're trying to make. At present, it sounds rather like my grandmother scoffing at car seats for babies, because none of her children or grandchildren had car seats, and lived to tell the tale. Or that she'd never developed lung cancer, despite being a 40-a-day smoker for the last fifty years.

I'm sure there are people who've run their first marathon after a sub-optimal training program who haven't wrecked anything. Just as you can find lots of healthy smokers. Doesn't mean that cigarettes don't increase the risk of cancer, though.

Everything else being equal, the percentage of uninjured people in a pool of poorly-prepared entrants will be smaller than the percentage of uninjured people in the pool of well-prepared entrants.

bananaskinsnomnom · 04/01/2020 00:56

Ok, I’ve run the marathon twice. Size 14/16, not the skinniest not the plumpest, certainly not the fittest. Both times for charity. A charity that I have received much support from and therefore wanted to do something. Also both my parents have ran before, my sister, two grandparents, my cousins - it’s a bit of a family tradition!

The Beginner marathon training plan available online is a damn good one to follow. However it does also indicate that it’s based on the runner having been out running say 3 times a week for at least a month before starting. I was not a runner before training however as soon as I had my place (September before event) I started going out.

You seem to indicate she hasn’t started training. That’s worrying but if she really pushes she can do it.

I spent about 6 weeks going out for a few weeks about 3 times a week - starting with about 20 minute jog and increasing as my stamina did. I then followed the beginner plan from the marathon website and, as I had started quite far in advance I did most weeks twice. Inserted a couple of extra rest weeks, generally in time with my period and during snow!

I did this routine for both times. My legs became sticks and my fitness increased dramatically as did my diet. Didn’t loose much weight but body tone and shape changed over the 7 months. It took a lot of commitment!

Now I did the marathon twice due to injury the first time and I was annoyed by my time being ruined. I still finished, but took me nearly 7 hours which wasn’t what I had worked so hard for. My injury was so stupid which still makes me sad now - people shout out your name and someone yelled a name and a runner suddenly cut in front of me to see his family and we collided and went crashing to the floor - I ended up with a nose bleed and bleeding arms - had to sit in a medical tent at the side at mile 18 and resting is literally the worst thing you can do because your body just siezes up and thinks you’re finished. Not to mention I just hurt all over due to the fall so had to go slow and steady. I was disappointed, when you train so hard and something so stupid happens.

So I tied again. On that lovely super hot marathon 2 years back. Got 5 and a half hours. Was hoping for 5 but you know what, I trained in sub zero and ran in a heat wave. It was bloody hot and just had to be a bit more steady otherwise it would have been a disaster. I was fitter on the second time and managed to jog and only started to walk at 24 miles. This is the part where you wish you were dead.

It’s a bloody long way. Can’t be underestimated.

She has 8 hours from the time she crosses the starting line to finish. They now start in waves- assuming she has been honest about her likely finishing time and she’s a first timer for charity she will likely be starting in the last group so wont even start until about 10:45. What she should also be aware of is that they start packing it away. Yes, you have 8 hours to finish and get your medal, but she will find at the last bit that they start to take down signage, railings etc and if she is really really at the back she needs to mind out for the sweeper bus and she may have to move to the side. Tbh I doubt she will be sharing the road with cars because they have to clean the road first. There is a part of the route which backtracks on its self (up one half of the high way and back down the other - check the map and you’ll see what I mean) and coming back down, despite the fact that no one was going up anymore , it still wasn’t open to traffic, so hopefully she doesn’t need to worry about that.

If she has started training already, I advise her to follow the beginner program. It’s designed to start January 1st so she can follow it to the tee.

If she hasn’t, she should follow it anyway, and maybe get on some extra walking (eg walking rather than the car as much as possible) and a couple of extra quick hogs a week. She needs to build gradually, add an extra mile on each weekend to long runs. But to be frank, she needs to get up to 20 miles in training. That’s as far as I got (it’s hard when your on your own to go further motivation will drop). Even walking it in 8 hours, I’m not convinced tbh. I also recommends she joins a gym temporarily. I had a week of solid snow and ice (beast from the east!) impossible to run in, so trained on a treadmill that week. If you can offer to be a running buddy during the week on short runs, that would be great!

My own tips you can pass:
Great way to do a long run is to get the train somewhere and run home. Much more motivating to know you’re on the way home and have no choice but to keep going.
Invest in good trainers now, or 2 pairs. Make a good bouncy happy playlist, and running gear. A decent running pouch round the waist or arm too for everything. But a couple to see what works.
For gods sake stretch before running!
Do the long run very early in the morning so she is home by lunch and she’ll feel less conscious with less people about. I used to get up at 6am and go straight out, then go back to bed!
She needs to realise that she has to do this every weekend till April.

You sound like a really supportive sister. I wish her luck!

RowenaMud · 04/01/2020 00:59

I'm not saying that people who go from zero to a full marathon in a short time are not at risk. I am making the point that for some people, completing a marathon is down to mental strength rather than fitness levels. It is disheartening to read people scoffing at the very idea of someone being able to do it when it can and has been done by people with very low fitness levels. I wouldn't recommend it nor would I ever attempt a marathon myself, but I would support anyone who believes they can do it. I've witnessed someone do it myself and at the risk of repeating myself, her mental strength is what got her through it. She did say afterwards that she would never do another one though as she doesn't even enjoy running!

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 04/01/2020 01:11

I think we are talking at cross-purposes. For me "mental strength" is that stuff that gets you round a course despite the agony of an injury or exhaustion. Great in terms of being able to say "I did a marathon", yes. But I don't care that much about whether she can "get round" on mental fortitude. Maybe she can, maybe she can't. What I am concerned about is whether she will develop long-term injuries during the course of the day or in the run up to it.

Fr0g · 04/01/2020 01:12

chariyies that I've worked for with marathon places usually have a training/motivation program - are you sure that she's not done any preparation already as part of such a scheme?

Brave woman (or mad!) - hope that she does well

Africa2go · 04/01/2020 01:12

Of course I'll be super encouraging, but that's not going to change basic physiology

Sorry OP, that's rubbish. There is absolutely no physiological reason why someone can't do the marathon in 4 months time. As everyone has said, she's not going to be up there with the elite runners but if she starts some serious training, is dedicated and is positive there is no reason why she can't get round.

You might not think its possible and at the end of the day, she might not do it, but thats not to say she can't or shouldn't

AutumnRose1 · 04/01/2020 01:19

Timetohittheroadjack

“ I went from pretty much zero exercise to a marathon in about 6 months”

That’s amazing, I’m well impressed.

Pushmepullyou · 04/01/2020 01:20

I did the Yorkshire three peaks in 11 hrs with no training and carrying my body weight in chocolate and water. With training, no mountains or chocolate I’m pretty sure I will be able to Jeff the marathon in April. I’m mid forties and up to 11 miles now having started from 0 in November. I won’t set the world on fire (hoping for sub 6 hrs) but I’ll have achieved something bloody spectacular for me.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 04/01/2020 01:24

I ran a marathon after training and years of running and being active and it was still awful and a bloody long way! I think she will struggle.

bananaskinsnomnom · 04/01/2020 01:24

Like others have said, and me, she needs to get the physical training in, but the mental Sid Weill play a big part. The mental commitment is what will get her out the door to train in the first place. The crowds on the day can’t be underestimated, likewise the support from those around you. The London marathon is a huge charity event at the end of the day and they want people of all abilities, it’s not the New York or Boston marathon.

It can certainly be done.

PrincessLayer · 04/01/2020 01:57

I have friend A who has been applying for the London Marathon for the last few years, and hasn't been lucky. She's super fit, runs a lot, and has done a couple of marathons. London is her absolute dream.
Friend B applied and got a place first time. She did a 5k about 4/5 years ago, and hasn't run as much as for a bus since.
She keeps saying she'll go for a run and still hasn't. At new year it was "no booze until after the marathon, I'm in training". Today it was "ah fuck it, it's only a few wines"
I'm proper gutted for friend A, and quite furious with B.
I fully expect B to drop out.

foamrolling · 04/01/2020 06:56

Why are you furious with b? She doesn't make the entry rules for London. The only person she'll let down is herself. Whether or not she completes it has zero impact on anyone else.

This thread is a bit pissing on chips though even if you're pretending to be supportive in real life op. I love an underdog. I think we are quite often capable of more than we (or others) think we are. I hope your sil proves everyone wrong and if she doesn't I hope she keeps on setting goals and having a go. I got quite a lot of 'you're brave' comments from people when I entered the snowdonia marathonas my first marathon. My training wasn't as great as it could have been. I still completed it and a good 45 minutes faster than anticipated.

Freesunglasses · 04/01/2020 07:06

@ confessions the majority of people who die doing a half or full marathon are very experienced athletes with an undiagnosed heart condition.

Tell your SIL to Google Jeff Galway he does a run walk strategy which I think is her only chance.

Sugarfreejelly · 04/01/2020 07:08

My best friend got a London marathon place and started training in the January. For their first run he managed a couple if hundred metres before stopping and was knackered after 1 mile. However, he trained 3 times a week and when April came managed the marathon in 5.5 hours. It can be done with training and luck ( avoiding injuries while training).

CheddarGorgeous · 04/01/2020 07:29

An overweight, sedentary 50 year old is very unlikely to be able to run a marathon with 16 week's preparation time. That's not mean, that's realistic.

She's better off aiming for a very fast walk. But in all likelihood she'll either injure herself in panic training or drop out.

OneKeyAtATime · 04/01/2020 07:32

Well she may not manage to do it but if it gets her into exercise, surely that s good.

I am a marathon runner and I am really surprised that 'real' runners want to run that particular race. There are so many amazing marathons mostly frequented by fellow runners so a much nicer experience overall.

UnderHisEyeBall · 04/01/2020 07:54

Does she understand the charity will expect, and even fight for, the £2k it is expecting off her, whether she runs or not?

AuntieStella · 04/01/2020 07:54

"for some people, completing a marathon is down to mental strength"

For everyone it's all down to mental strength.

Marathons are tough, really tough.

The MoonWalk is a marathon where you are not allowed to run - the average finish time is 9 hours 45 (range is a serious speedwalking 4hours 45 to 14 hours).

VLM course info states that you need to be moving at a 7 hour pace to stay ahead of the sweeper, and 8 hour pace to finish for a medal (last bit in the pavement - quite a bit in the news last year from the 7:30 pacer about how unpleasant it is to be on the course whilst it is being packed up,around you)

I am a runner who has been oofed by VLM both in the regular ballot and by a charity. It has become a two tier system, with those who are rich enough to underwrite the fundraising targets having a much greater chance of securing a place. The event is a combination of a hugely coveted race for this's who run, mixed in with a mass participation event where you might not need to run much. Opinion in the running community about that sort of hybrid is very mixed - no-one wants all the big races to be like Boston, but distance runners do want a decent shot at being able to run the iconic events of their own sport (without,a > £2000 sum to be found)

To go back to question in the title. No she won't be able to run it if she isn't running already (including running by jeffing with more running than walking).

But she might be able to get round, if she is very lucky. If she wants to maximise her luck, I recommend the following in the remaining 15 weeks:

  • get two pairs of good properly fitted trainers and alternate them in training, so she has a choice of which to wear on the day
  • get proper running socks (other sports sock may well,chafe after about 18 miles)
  • good bra!!!
  • sort out preferred running kit (think about things like seam-free underwear, non chafing top and leggings) plus what to wear them discard for hanging round at the start, whether as a slow mover she'll want hat/gloves/more layers/cagoule etc and what she'll carry them in. Get that carrier (try a hydration system type backpack) n plenty of time so she can get used to wearing it in training (and if fist choice chafes, she might have to try another)
  • she needs to work out what she will eat on the way round. Some brands of gels/blocs five some people the runs (metaphorically). Find this out in training, not on the day!
  • training plan: oodles available online, inclusingndirect from VLM. She should pick the one she thinks she can stick with (I like the CRUK ones which train by time on your feet, not distance covered)
  • include general fitness/strength/flexibility training as well as running at least 3'times a week for the next 12-13 weeks (need 2-3 weeks taper, I expect the shorter taper is more suitable for the lower running mileage anticipating)
  • have plans for what other training she will do to maintain her fitness build up is she is injured during training
  • consider buying a Garmin to track progress in training
  • do parkrun (or join a running club) - it's often easier to stick with it once you're part of a running community
  • enter a 10k run about a month before VOM (more and earlier if she can) to get used to what happens on a race day, and to test herself a bit.

The chances of her managing this without injury are extremely low IMO (people who are fit/sporty even if not runners and under 25 (or maybe 30) ugh this get away with it). There is plenty of advice online on how to cope with injury for when it is needed

daydreambeleiver · 04/01/2020 08:00

Crazy, took me weeks to manage 5km but does depend on how good she once was, I was terrible as a kid

lottiegarbanzo · 04/01/2020 08:10

She can walk.

Charity places require a VAST commitment to fundraising in advance. That will become her preoccupation.

rookiemere · 04/01/2020 08:12

Yup I agree with you OP. I'm a mildly overweight 49 year old who waddles parkrun every week and usually takes the ddog on one brisk walk a day ( DH does the others). I'd be horrified by the thought of having to train for a marathon by April, never mind raising £2k in sponsorship as well. I could probably be half marathon ready in that time, but even when I did half marathons in the past it required fairly extensive training and putting aside enough time for some 2 hr runs.

If she's serious she'll have printed out a plan for herself or at least been out for a jog or two. I think it's a bit disrespectful to all the people who genuinely prepare for it - particularly those who like me aren't natural runners - to think she can just rock up and have a go.

lottiegarbanzo · 04/01/2020 08:13

And it's ridiculous to compare your DH's unsuccessful ballot entries to someone securing a charity place. He could go down that route too if he chose and get a certain place for any year he likes.

bee222 · 04/01/2020 08:26

@Daffodil77 I guess it depends on your club and how many people want or qualify for it. We have criteria but it’s nothing too difficult. You are expected to have to have earned club points by doing things like taking part on races etc.
A few years back we had two spots and only 4 people put their name in the hat for it. Lots of clubs have members who are not regulars or don’t even want to run a marathon.

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