Preparing to leave partner

[Annie58]

I have decided to leave my partner of 8 years as I no longer like him very much. I realised very recently that I had been emotionally and mentally drained for much of the last decade, and by his behaviours. He admits that he treated me very badly. He has changed a lot, but I no longer see a future with him. He does not know that I am leaving - he would try to persuade me to stay. Although in my soul I would have liked to have left on New Years Eve, and wake up welcoming the new decade by going for an early walk alone, circumstances prevented it. I need to find a new job to support myself for example. I do not see him that much due to our working hours, but there are times when we are together. I am fine when I am on my own - and I am preparing for my departure - today for example I opened a savings account for myself. But I find it very hard not to be irritated by him when we are together. I try to contain it as much as I can, but end up feeling very guilty when he has left again. I don’t want to be mean to him, but I just don’t ‘feel it’ anymore.
If anyone could advise me how to cope with this period of transition I would be very grateful. Thank you.

Sorry to hear what you’ve had a tough time OP

And well done for making the decision to leave. I think your instinct to not tell him you’re leaving is the right one.

I would focus on the practical stuff first. Do you have any shared finances, mortgage etc? Do you have joint savings? Are any of the bills in your name?

Can you start packing up your most important items like passport, birth certificate etc and take them to a friend or relatives house?

Thank you. I am doing what you advise, bit by bit. But what I am finding difficult is being in his presence. I am minimising that where and when I can but wondered how others have coped with this.