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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

For neighbours to complain about me already?

75 replies

roseunicorn45 · 03/01/2020 15:05

Just moved into a new place around 6 weeks ago. It’s in a smaller village and the bin men come once every two weeks. I’m expecting a baby and have had lots of new furniture/decor delivered and of course it’s just been Christmas so there’s been more rubbish. There’s a few bin bags next to my backdoor step in my back garden, away in a corner and there is a large fence between us so the only way they would see is by looking over into my garden. They have contacted my estate agents to complain about it and I’ve had an email. I haven’t even met my neighbours yet and now feel awkward. I was waiting to put them out for the bin man on Tuesday. What do I do here? Do I go apologise or?

OP posts:

Legoandloldolls · 03/01/2020 15:33

I dont think they have any business contacting your estate agent first over you. Noisy bored busybodies. I would just be very mindful now to keep your own business very private as they are clearly nosey and judgemental.

If you can maybe do get some sort of security to check they are not looking over your fence which is very creepy.

Saddos. Ignore

Arnoldthecat · 03/01/2020 15:45

Sly bastards,,, Maybe its the case that ,,oh your renting but they are owners so they feel entitled to monitor and police your activities so that you dont bring down the area? I'd take the letter, go and knock on and speak to them. They are probably shit houses otherwise they would have spoken to you had they anything of note to say.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 03/01/2020 15:46

Forget all knowledge of any email from landlord/agent. Get bins collected as normal.

Cheery "hello, nice to meet you!" And smiles as if nothing has happened when you see them next.

They'll have to be right shits if they want to carry on with their complaints.

petrocellihouse · 03/01/2020 15:49

Don’t pay anyone to take the bin bags away. Your CF neighbours will know they can control you, and I can guarantee it will escalate. Just ignore, and carry on as per usual. Once you have the baby, it’s likely they will find something to complain about again!

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 03/01/2020 15:53

Does your tenancy agreement have anything about storing rubbish? You could shoot yourself in the foot contacting your landlord if it does...

If you hadn't said you were in a village, I'd wonder if you're one of my new neighbours. We have a new tenant next door who has five black bin bags outside their back door at the moment, and someone has already complained, as we've all had a generic letter reminding us to take rubbish to the bin as soon as it is outside as we only managed to get rid of rats after a big fight and a lot of expense last year. Not the most welcoming!

Anonanonanonanonanonanonanon · 03/01/2020 15:59

They sound a bit passive-agressive to me. I'd knock on the door and cheerfully introduce myself, then mention that the estate agent had contacted you about the rubbish. You could ask why they didn't speak with you directly as it made you feel vulnerable and unwelcome in your new neighbourhood. Then you can say you wanted to put their minds at rest that this is just because of the move and Christmas and you don't make a habit of stockpiling bags of trash by your back door. Put it all in the nicest, politest terms, but definitely mention that they went about it the wrong way.

Tistheseason17 · 03/01/2020 16:01

Take photos and send to agent.
That way, if their behaviour escalates you have evidence from day 1 that they are being difficult.

Sorry you are experiencing this. There really are some unpleasant neighbours about with nothing better to do. Don't engage in tit for tat. Good luck.

Drabarni · 03/01/2020 16:06

Put a big sign above the rubbish saying fuck off cunt.
After taking a pic to send to the EA.

JosefKeller · 03/01/2020 16:06

If it was on your front door, you couldn't blame them to be worried if you have only been here for a few weeks - most people would.

If it's at the back where they cant' see, it's weird. You can reply to your landlord that you don't appreciate people climbing ladders to be able to look in your own garden! Unless they used a drone? Very odd.

JosefKeller · 03/01/2020 16:07

You could ask why they didn't speak with you directly as it made you feel vulnerable and unwelcome in your new neighbourhood.

most MN posters would feel a lot more vulnerable if the big man from next door was coming to complain instead of contacting EA!

Blossomhill123 · 03/01/2020 16:08

Hate people who do this .
Round here you would get named and shamed (with pictures ) on the neighbourhood watch Facebook page if you left rubbish out before bin collection day.

Somanysocks · 03/01/2020 16:08

Don't pay anyone to take it, that way will show you can be bullied and they'll start complaining about the slightest thing you might do that they don't like.

Pop a friendly note through their door saying 'Hi my name's rose, just introducing myself, sorry I haven't been round but had loads to do, unpacking etc trying to get organised, would love to invite you for a cuppa once I've managed to clear all the rubbish'.

Disarm them before it takes hold.

bettybattenburg · 03/01/2020 16:15

They are being unreasonable but why don't you take the rubbish to the tip?

Spitsandspots · 03/01/2020 16:19

it’s a few bin bags

How many is a few? 2 is a couple 7 is more than a few

And how many have been there the whole 6 weeks?
It’s odd that they have peered over and looked but they may be concerned that you are just going to keep adding to it and the garden will soon be full -are they older neighbours?
Will the refuse collection actually take it? Ours collect every 2 weeks but won’t take anything if the black bin doesn’t close fully and they won’t take extra bags.

DrierThanANunsNasty · 03/01/2020 16:20

Could you grab a couple of fake limbs from a prop shop and stick them in the black bags? Couple of arms hanging out, etc. I mean, it won't do your cause any favours but it'll be hilarious AF... Nosey bastards.

JosefKeller · 03/01/2020 16:20

They are being unreasonable but why don't you take the rubbish to the tip?
that would be too much common sense

Potentialmadcatlady · 03/01/2020 16:23

Don’t give into them. Leave them out for bin men as you planned. If you give them an inch they will take a mile. My next door neighbour is obsessed with my bins. He actually told me at one stage it would be easier if I just put the rubbish in my car and took it straight to the dump. I have been very reasonable with him but after another incident just before Christmas I have now decided to refuse to talk or engage with him again. I plan to just smile and ignore him totally from now on.

Nanny0gg · 03/01/2020 16:25

Because maybe the OP doesn't have a car?

katzenellenbogen · 03/01/2020 16:35

Because maybe the OP doesn't have a car?

Or maybe the OP doesn't drive
Yes MN, it's an actual fact that some people don't drive, go and pour yourself a glass of water and get over it

thepeopleversuswork · 03/01/2020 16:38

OP I can totally sympathise. My upstairs neighbour engaged in a campaign of what I can only describe as harassment over about an 18 month period which involved constant complaints about the smallest things: shutting my door too loudly, using my hair-dryer after 10.30pm, stray empty bin bags in her recycling bin.

Eventually she upped her game and claimed that a plumbing problem was caused by me and was a result of my "faulty assets". It turned out to be nothing of the sort.

I tried to accommodate her initially where possible but as her demands became more and more unreasonable I eventually just started ignoring her at which point she completely lost the plot, threatened to sue me, reported me to environmental health (who told her she was batshit and to back the fuck off).

There are people like this everywhere. Small minded, negative, anal retentive people who don't have enough to worry about in their own lives get a kick out of bullying other people for not falling into line with their every demand.

After a while you learn to ignore, smile sweetly, reflect that you will always be a million times happier than them and thank the Lord that you don't have a rod up your ass.

Best of luck with your pregnancy.

nowaypose · 03/01/2020 16:40

They sound like total dicks. I’d be going round to ask why they thought it necessary to complain tbh, it’s not affecting their life in any way at all. Many people have surplus rubbish after Christmas, I know we did. Also just explain the situation to your landlord who should be understanding, it’s not as though this will be a regular occurrence.

Marmablade · 03/01/2020 16:44

Ignore them. Send a photo to the estate agent and ask what you should have done instead whilst waiting for the 2 weekly bin collection. We've had 6 boxes of recycling this week so I know how stuff can mount up!

An0nym0us2011 · 03/01/2020 16:56

This sounds like my neighbors, they have ago at me constantly for leaving my wheelie bin outside my front door instead of the alley way. I leave it at my front door because I don't want to leave the kids in the house to go to an alley to put the bins out.

DontCallMeShitley · 03/01/2020 17:04

Don't pay someone to take it. If anyone says anything else just explain that you have packaging from moving in and Christmas packaging like anyone else would and are waiting for the bin collection, which is normal and what you pay council tax for.

If neighbours approach you just say the same thing.

Having lived next to an HMO when the owner died and it was let out I have lived next to a front garden of black bags as they only had one bin and were filling mine so I moved it, even using mine wasn't enough though. The agents were contacted and it was dealt with but it was because the waste was piling up into a huge mountain and someone was needed to remove it and sort extra bins.

I take my neighbours stuff to the tip when there is something left by their bin that won't be collected (ask first in case it isn't rubbish). That is what neighbours should be like, to my mind.

TARSCOUT · 03/01/2020 17:05

Much as it seems OTT it might have been more to do with previous neighbours, maybe that was something they did and it got out of hand? I actually would take the time to.explain to them. Didn't think there was anywhere left that collected loose bin bags.

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