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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be worried about the affect on my son

10 replies

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 03/01/2020 14:10

DH has anger issues. Always had but they became more apparent when we had the children. I have spoken to him about dealing with his anger on numerous occasions. Apart from going to a few counselling sessions when we temporarily split up a few years ago he has done nothing.

He gets annoyed at the simplest of things and says 'I wouldn't get tired punching/kicking that fella in the face'. He has never been in a physical fight.

DS is 9 and has always been oppositional about most things: transitions, going out, joining new things but has lots of friends,.is very popular in school and is bright. He has very low self confidence despite me telling him repeatedly what he is good at. He has also become increasingly angry and today told his sister he would punch her in the face.

I've told DH to stop saying these things as I'm worried about the impact and he's making DS angry and aggressive. I'm at a loss what to do

OP posts:
Sexnotgender · 03/01/2020 14:11

Your DH needs to grow up. Of course it will impact your child.

ohwheniknow · 03/01/2020 14:13

What did you expect to happen if you forced your children to grow up in a household dominated by an aggressive and violent man where this behaviour has been modelled as normal and acceptable their whole lives?

AIBU to be worried about the affect on my son
Excited101 · 03/01/2020 14:14

At 9, you’re both leaving it a bit late now, this is all your ds knows!

BloggersBlog · 03/01/2020 14:15

What was his response to you telling him that?

Aquamarine1029 · 03/01/2020 14:30

Your son is behaving exactly as he's been taught to. Did you think your husband's behaviour would have no impact on your children? You should have gotten rid of that arsehole years ago.

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 03/01/2020 18:47

Bloggersblog I told him it was completely unacceptable to say that. He calmed down and I gave him a hug

OP posts:
NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 03/01/2020 18:50

It's easy to say get rid of him but my DD has extra support needs and I had to give working full time work last year to support her with homework and life in general. So I have no income now at present.

OP posts:
24hourshomeedderandcarer · 03/01/2020 20:00

google odd (Oppositional defiant disorder)
sounds like your partner and son has it

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 03/01/2020 21:16

Thanks 24hours. I do think my son may have ODD, didn't think my husband might

OP posts:
BloggersBlog · 05/01/2020 21:54

@NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 sorry I meant your DH not DS. How did DH respond to you telling him his behaviour was negatively affecting DS

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