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Long lost friend has taken a photo of my house and posted it on Instagram

193 replies

instapaints · 03/01/2020 12:57

Last week, a friend (whom I've not seen in nearly 2 years) texted me that she was in the area and asked we could meet to 'catch up on old times'. I unfortunately wasn't free and she told me that she could just stop by my place for a quick coffee. Fine. An hour of good conversation later, and she brought out essential oils for me to try out and possibly buy! Bit odd, but I declined and we parted ways.

Today, I decided to look her up on Instagram for some reason and saw photos of my living room and kitchen with the caption 'new furniture!' The hashtags were all related to the oils she was selling, with the bottles being in the picture too so it looked like some sort of ad? I've messaged her about this but she hasn't replied yet.

Is there something I can do to get these pictures taken down?

OP posts:
OlaEliza · 03/01/2020 14:40

It wouldn't be doxxing if you are promoting some great oils you heard about and want to show is all a fabulous public insta account we can get them from.

acatcalledjohn · 03/01/2020 14:41

Sounds like you've had a lucky escape. She's botshit.

You negferret Grin

ScrimshawTheSecond · 03/01/2020 14:48

What utterly bizarre behaviour.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 03/01/2020 14:48

Long ago, before social media, we saw an advert in a free local magazine for a building company. They were claiming to do roof repairs/replacements, external decorating etc etc and the ad was illustrated with a picture of our house, which did indeed have a very nice brand new roof and had been redecorated outside at the same time. Only problem was the work was not carried out by this firm. Shock I was furious. I wrote to them and I also complained to the Advertising Standards Agency. Simpler times. Nowadays I'd have had to checkTwitter, Facebook, Instagram and goodness knows what else.

ScrimshawTheSecond · 03/01/2020 14:50

I've just seen a post talking about people who dont support women's businesses

Unbelievable. I'd block her and utterly cut her off, immediately. What a creep!

WireBrushAndDettolMaam · 03/01/2020 14:51

if she's an MLM bot her friends and family are probably sick and tired of her trying to sell them her 'oils' so probably are quite pleased she's latched onto someone else to use pics of their house, not theirs. Or they feel pity for the 'friend' used.

Yep! Grin

AutumnRose1 · 03/01/2020 15:08

Photos are down, that's the main thing

sorry this happened to you. Don't worry about the WhatsApp etc - as a pp said so eloquently, the trash has taken itself out!

Winterinthecity · 03/01/2020 15:09

WireBrush - I recall a couple of years ago I got cornered by a famous skincare MLM bot in a jazz bar in a trendy area of London - cornered in the sense of 'let's be friends' - I was with other friends at the time and was vaguely interested in the idea and the brand.

However, after attending drinks with this bot and her manager (manger won a prestige car and had just bought or been given expensive jewellery as a prize for meeting her targets) and then going to an event where this bot blanked me when she could see better people than me to recruit etc I dropped her like a stone. I think she's still on my linked in but I had her as a FB friend etc. I actually felt sorry for this bots real friends and family as it seemed as if there was nothing she'd stop at to succeed.

I know other friends and relatives who were MLM bots but I found it fairly easy to ignore them on FB.

I've read a few blogs about bots who've seen the light or friends of bots and I feel sorry for them.

instapaints · 03/01/2020 15:14

I've read a few blogs about bots who've seen the light or friends of bots and I feel sorry for them.

Ooh do you happen to have links to these blogs? I've never really had any encounters with the world of MLMs before this but now that I have and now that I've calmed down and am less irritated about the situation, I'm strangely fascinated by the psychology behind it? Still baffled as to why she thought this was acceptable behaviour that it would actually work!

OP posts:
acatcalledjohn · 03/01/2020 15:16

Elle Beau is worth a read. She's ex Youneeeeek. Some good articles on Talented Ladies Club too.

Crystal87 · 03/01/2020 15:23

Very strange. A friend once took a pic of my baby scan and put it on Facebook pretending it was hers. Some people are just odd.

Riggging · 03/01/2020 15:26

Crystal87 similar - a friend took a picture of my baby at 3mths and pretended he was hers on another forum!!!

instapaints · 03/01/2020 15:32

Thanks acatcalledjohn.

Crystal87 and Riggging what?!?! That's completely insane! Shock

OP posts:
BSintolerant · 03/01/2020 15:51

MLMs operate like cults, bizarre but true. The cult followers are encouraged to cut out people from their lives who don’t support their MLM nonsense. This includes family, friends and spouses.

BSintolerant · 03/01/2020 15:54

I’m not surprised you’re irritated OP - your so-called friend only contacted you to try to sucker you in. She was only interested in making money out of you by joining this crappy pyramid scheme. You’ve dodged a bullet there!

CruCru · 03/01/2020 15:56

Honestly? She doesn’t like you as much as you thought she does. You don’t have to have any more contact with her. Block her from your SM and make plans with someone else you’d like to see.

Dwelling on this is just giving her headspace. She isn’t giving you any (beyond being annoyed that you don’t want her to pretend your stuff is hers).

Tistheseason17 · 03/01/2020 16:11

Please share the Instagram handle!!

my2020newdecade · 03/01/2020 16:13

.

my2020newdecade · 03/01/2020 16:16

The law regarding photography - uk

© 2018, BLPA

Site by Pinkeye Graphics & HomePage Media

Contact BLPA

Photographers’ rights
This is a general guide to the main legal restrictions on the right to take photographs and the right to publish photographs that have been taken. It is not a complete or definitive guide on the law. If you are faced with unusual circumstances, specific issues, concerns or difficulties we suggest you seek legal advice.
These links give further information.

Urban 75 Photographers rights - street shooting, people, privacy and children
UK Photographers Rights and Guide by Linda Macpherson (download a PDF of this guidance here)
Editorial Photographers United Kingdom and Ireland (EPUK)
British Photographic Council (BPC)
The British Press Photographers' Association (BPPA)
Wikipedia: Photography and the Law
I'm a Photographer not a Terrorist
Police National Legal Database advice page
UK Law
On the whole, UK law doesn't prevent photography in public places. The UK has relatively liberal laws regarding photography compared with many countries. Although there are some exceptions, the key principle is that you can photograph people and buildings without needing permission, providing you are in a public place.

As long as you're not causing any harassment, you're allowed to photograph other people if they are in a public place.

Public vs. Private
Many of the incidents in which photographers come into difficulty is that many places which you instinctively think are public are in fact privately controlled. This includes some shopping centres, car parks, some parks and play areas (depending on the attitude of the landowner) and various private structures, for example, Millennium Wheel on the South Bank in London. There is a trend for public places to become private, particularly in town centres which are developed with new shopping centres.

In a public place
Taking photos in a public place is not illegal. The only time an offence is committed is if the photographs being taken are considered to be indecent. There is no law stating that you can't take photographs in public. This includes taking photos that include other people's children or taking photos of children directly. An offence will, however, have been committed if the photographs taken are indecent.

"Public Place" is not defined in legislation. A public place is usually a place to which the public are allowed to have access freely and without payment or permission. This includes any public highway or footpath. The inside of a car is also considered as a public place, unless it is parked on private property.

You may take photographs of people or objects (including buildings) whilst in a public place. With a few exceptions the owners of the property cannot prevent you from doing so and people cannot generally object to having their photographs taken.

In the UK you do not have to get the permission from people you photograph whilst they are in a public place. Using and selling images of people in a public place is usually acceptable if undertaken with a view to being used for any journalistic or artistic material.

However if you intend to sell the image commercially or use it for a commercial purpose (for example to promote a product) it is normally recommended to get people to sign a model release form - see below for more about why this is important.

On Private Property
If the person you're photographing is on private land, they could claim a right to privacy, and if you're on private land, then the owner of the land has the right to restrict photography on their property.

How you choose to use the photos later may well be restricted by whether you have a model release or property release, but this is a different matter.

If you are asked to stop taking photographs on private property then it is advisable to do so. The person asking might not have the legal right to do so but it is likely that the actual landowner will side with them rather than you. Additionally you could be accused of trespass.

Property owners or their employees and security staff have no right whatsoever to confiscate, inspect or damage a photographer's camera or insist that images are deleted.

Railways and tube stations generally allow people to take non-commercial photographs as long as you don't cause an obstruction (more likely to happen if you are using a tripod). However asking station staff first is probably a good idea.

thejollyroger · 03/01/2020 16:28

my2020newdecade

But even with all of that, there is still no law actually against taking the photograph. The owner of the property can ask you not to do it, and you are advised to comply, but if they don’t ask you not to there’s no law that says you shouldn’t or can’t.

PearTreeParty · 03/01/2020 16:45

Don't underestimate the desperation of the MLM Bot.

There is a fantastic podcast on the origins and of pyramid schemes, case studies and the lengths people will go to in order to meet their 'targets'.

If I were in your shoes, and now that the pictures are down, I would tell her that you are pretty sure she is the victim of an MLM and that the longer she stays part of the scheme, the more money she will lose and that she should cut her losses and get out now.

She won't thank you for it - but you have nothing to lose now and at least you will have tried.

It's cheeky fuckery but it's born out of desperation.

instapaints · 03/01/2020 16:54

There is a fantastic podcast on the origins and of pyramid schemes, case studies and the lengths people will go to in order to meet their 'targets'.

What's the podcast called?

She's now blocked me on facebook as well but not before I had a good scroll through her feed. I'm now more sad than anything because she used to sell things from a different MLM (according to that blog) company and there were massive sales of up to 90% off when she was 'quitting'. Surely that's a loss?!

OP posts:
JustASmallTownCurl · 03/01/2020 17:01

She has blocked you?!

Dodged a bullet there mate, she's a lunatic!

Winterinthecity · 03/01/2020 17:30

OP - I can't think offhand but if you google you should find blogs where ex MLMrs or people interested in the psychology of them write about their experiences with them.

I read a few of these because I was interested but after a while they all seem samey and to be honest I sort of felt sorry for the MLMrs to be so desperate to resort to this.

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