To really miss that loved up feeling I had when I first met dh

[thesparrowflieshigh]

And the way I felt so adored by him. We've been together 18 years now, got 2 teenagers he's a brilliant dad and dh. Totally loyal, will and does do anything for us, works really hard, kind but just not very romantic! Talks about practical stuff, the house, garden etc rather than 'feelings'. All my friends are jealous of him because he's such a doer. But I sometimes miss that total loved upness we had in the beginning.

YANBU, unless you are contemplating chucking away a great relationship for the butterflies (in which case you are mental). I am still in honeymoon stage but I look in envy at my friends 20 years in, best friends and still in love. I hope that’s me and DH

I loved the beginning of my relationship with DH but I prefer now. I’m not trying to second guess everything and I feel really secure with him. I can be myself and I know he’s being himself.

I am totally with you. All my friends say I’ve got the greatest husband, and kids adore him, and I love him. But there’s not a lot of excitement or romance in every day life is there... after nearly 14 years together.
He’s trying super hard though, I’ve said I want to do new things and he has surprised me with some lovely tickets to events he’s not as interested in as me, but still wants to take me.

It's impossible to retain that though. DH and I have been together for 22 years and I still love and respect him, but you can't go on getting butterflies every time! What you have now is rarer and more valuable IMO.

It takes 2 to keep the flame alive, don't you think? I've been with my husband for 27 years. We've been married for 20 years and the romance is still there.
He tells me he loves me many times during the day, he holds my hand when we're walking (yes, we're one of those annoying couples!) and I can honestly say we're probably more 'loved up' now than we've ever been.
But, it does sometimes take work. Obviously, real life gets in the way of day-to-day romance, but it doesn't have to all the time. I'm just saying it takes 2 to keep the spark going, I guess.
Are you romantic towards your husband? Maybe, he follows your example in how he sees things?

It comes back once the kids have grown up and the stress partially eases. Dh has just retired at 58, and we are more 'loved up' than we have been for years.

That's nice to hear scaryteacher

OP, I can completely relate. My husband is great, a supportive, patient partner and a fantastic father. But I miss the giddy romance of the early days too. I accept that it's unrealistic to hope for it to last - we've been together for 17 years - but I do miss it ...

YANBU like you I'm incredibly lucky with my DH he's kind, loyal, selfless - will still do lovely romantic things for me but I was chatting to a friend recently who has recently started a new relationship feeling and I felt wistful about that new relationship feeling. The excitement of meeting someone new and getting to know them. I certainly wouldn't give up my wonderful marriage for it though!

I know what you mean. We’re 11 years in & I do miss it but I wouldn’t swap what our relationship has become for anything. I suppose it’s a bit like when you see a new baby & look at your own & remember them at that age, doesn’t mean you want another just means you’re wistful for that time again.

It's an exciting time in a relationship but it's also quite uncomfortable. The second guessing actions, being so hurt by things and having first arguments about things that don't really matter. The finding out they're not perfect etc etc.

My best friend just got into a new relationship and shes glowing but shes also saying things like 'he goes quiet and I don't know what hes thinking' 🤣 whereas I'm so secure and comfy with dh and I prefer that feeling where you feel stable and know each others isms

This thread reminds me of this scene from Friends, Candler can be very wise sometimes!

Oh I know what you mean. It is so 'familiar'. I too have teens and been together 20 years. I wonder about going out to do more romantic stuff like see live music, for meals or weekend away, as the DC get older, but it seems a little 'trite' - it can help I think. Did you see Gavin and Stacey at Christmas as that seemed the same kind of thing.