Teenagers and helping round the house

[sparepartalways]

Can I ask how much your teenagers do?

AIBU to expect mine to do more than they do which tbh is next to nothing ? I’m sick of it Ive stopped paying their pocket money as I’ve told them I feel like unappreciated

Mine at that age, did their own washing.
Keep bathroom clean.
I bought colour coded towels, blue for one, purple for the other.
Any towel on the floor incurred a $1 fine. No towels on the floor after that.
Cook one night a week, clean up kitchen, stack dishwasher etc. 2 nights a week.
Feed dog, water plants, feed chickens.
Roster is on the door in the kitchen, still referred to by DH as he can never remember what his jobs are.

@sauvignon - I have never enforced it it is just a normal part of being a family. My DC do their share because they care about me and don't want to put all the housework onto me. Surely if you start enforcing by turning off Wifi or stopping pocket money then they learn to only do the fair thing for their own selfish gains?

Mine are 14/16/18.

After meals they clear the table, wash/dry up, run the dishwasher, take out the recycling, wipe down all the sides.

They feed the animals and clean out the litter trays.

Walk the dog (we take it in turns).

Clean a bathroom or do the hoovering throughout once a week.

Mow the lawn in summer and snowblow/shovel in winter.

Clean out their rooms when I crack and start getting screechy.

The older two drive me places, go to the supermarket if I ask them to, pick up prescriptions, etc.

Do laundry.

If they can't be home for family dinner because of an after-school activity they feed themselves.

They might occasionally sort their rooms, dust/vacuum, etc.

I don't give them pocket money but I do pay them for certain big tasks and I'm pretty nice about buying them things they want.

If they started to be arsey about any of this they'd find that their lives got quite difficult. I'd remove access to cars, stop giving lifts, stop providing the nice food/drinks they like and reduce to basics, switch off their phone data plans, switch off wifi etc.

They know which side their bread is buttered.

Similar ages here. Their excuse is they have school! Would bring in bin if we at work! Would do dishwasher but has be said no start made on it. He has part t job so dont give him cash. Feel they lazy though 17 and 14

Set chores plus general, DS19 does the floors, bins, dog walks when I don’t, garden,
DD14 keeps living room, dining room tidy, laundry. Both do dishes, own rooms, we all live here and enjoy a nice home.
OP change the wifi password and only issue it on a daily basis if chores are done.

15&17 - are expected to put laundry in laundry basket or it doesn't get done - and that includes towels. They are expected to put dishes in dishwasher (or don't get fed) and to clear and load dishwasher after family meals (or again don't get fed. Seems to work....

They have set chores but the ones that they do without prompting
13yo dirty clothes in laundry basket twice a week, dusts tv and stand (the tv is used for gaming ), load dishwasher after eating a meal at the table (but not the mugs by the tv) and washes pe kit. Only has showers and leaves no mess
18yo- laundry and ironing of his own stuff.

Their rooms are dumps. 18yo leaves bathroom in a shocking state

My 14 year old keeps her room tidy and changes her bed (when I remind her). She is generally tidy and doesn't leave stuff around. My son is very untidy, but does his own cooking and ironing and walks the dogs when hes not at work (he's at college three days a week and works two and a half days). He only cleans his room when his girlfriend is coming over and tends to leave his stuff everywhere.
I'm pretty relaxed about it all but I do get annoyed of they complain about not being able to find stuff or having clean things when they don't put stuff away or clothes in the laundry basket. Mum doesn't mean slave after all.

Help load and unload the dishwasher
Put clothes in laundry basket, wet towels away etc, load and unload washing machine sometimes (when asked)
Change sheets every 2 weeks
Sort out clean washing and put it away in their room
They also do a bit of cooking
I'd see this as the minimum any teen should be doing tbh. I've just made it part of the normal routine and they don't moan about it. They do have messy rooms but no food goes in bedrooms.

Two DS, late teens. They do their own stuff OK, e.g. rooms, laundry, ironing etc. but communal stuff they still have some resistance to. But now that they're older it's easier to reason with them, e.g. because I plan, shop, prep and cook the meal, it's only fair they contribute to it by washing the dishes afterwards. They see that's it's a reasonable thing to ask of them, although still working on them doing it without me having to tell them - they should know it's their job!

Similarly, it's their job to do all the bins/recycling, and they know this, but if the indoor recycling box is full they will just put their stuff on top of it or on the floor beside it rather than actually empty it off their own bat.

Most annoying is leaving rubbish on a table or worktop rather than put it in the bin a few feet away. I have been known to drag them out of their beds and down to the kitchen to pick up a wrapper and bin it, thinking that would teach them not to do it again, but not working so far (ongoing for about 8 years).

It's only when I'm in a foul mood that they start scurrying about doing anything and everything, thinking a perfect home will soothe me. I usually score a cup of tea out of it too!

How do you get your teens to tidy their rooms? My two refuse point blank because it's their space. Their room is shocking, really disgusting but they don't care. I'd love them to clean it .

Well I was a single mum with 6 and 3 yr old and I knew my life would be hard enough so they learnt young. Now 12 and 9.

I never have to ask - they just do it
Make their own breakfast
Make their own lunch
12 yr old makes own Pack lunch every day - since starting senior school
Put every dish they use in the dishwasher.
Put their dirty laundry in the bin
Hang their towel up AND dry off the shower (we Karcher vac the tiles now)
Put their shoes and coat and school bags away
Feed and toilet the dog including walk in school hols

I ask and they jump immediately
Get me your laundry into coloured piles
Wash the sinks (all in the house)
Hoover
Empty dishwasher
Help me hang laundry
Help me cook dinner

Laying the table every meal is normal.

Sit the blighters down and tell them straight.

Do you have partner who demands slavery of you? Where did they learn this pattern?

Go on strike and demand teamwork!

Mine responded to a family meeting.
We started with “ we all work/ study full time, so household chores need to be shared...”
We then developed the chore chart that exists to this day.
Everyone knows what their jobs are and just does them.
Some reminders required initially.
Some trying to get out of cooking.
I stood firm that I was not the back up plan, they needed to swap with others.

We started with “ we all work/ study full time, so household chores need to be shared...”

This is really important actually. XH used to tell DC to "help mum" and I had quite a job getting him to rephrase that, as it underlined the idea that housework is mum's work, and they were only helpers. Making sure they understand that it's everyone's responsibility helps them be less resistant to getting involved.