I've name changed for this post for obvious reasons.
My friend is newly married and has recently had their first DS together with her DH. The DH has older children from past relationships, aged 9 and 12. My friend and her DH are constantly arguing over her step children who he he has joint custody of, as she feels disrespected by them much of the time and says he isn't addressing the problem and disciplining them.
She called me this morning and confided that after yet another row he has physically shoved her out of the bedroom with their newborn DS in her arms.
I don't know what goes on other than what she tells me, this may or may not have been the first time he has become physical.
I've consoled her and tried my best to get her to see how his this is unacceptable but she says after a "heart to heart" with her crying, apologetic DH she feels better now because he said he's going to address the disrespect by the step kids.
She thinks the step children are the problem and not the DH who is supposed to be a responsible adult.
The subject is one close to my heart as somebody I'm very close to lost custody of her baby as a direct result of domestic abuse and not being able to keep herself and baby safe, so perhaps I'm over reacting by panicking here. Personally, I don't feel that I am and im worried for her not seeing the wood for the trees because she's putting it all on the step kids.
AIBU to say that this is a DH problem and she should be thinking about leaving because this is not a step child problem?