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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it will not get any easier!!!

4 replies

LaCitrouille · 02/01/2020 16:13

I have a 7 year old boy and another 17 months old toddler. I love both of them more than anything in life. But our life has turned upside down since giving birth to our second child. I think we expected that it’s going to be the same as our first (wasn’t the easiest baby but managed to get there) and we will just get on with it, but it’s really not the case. I had problems with breastfeeding first, then constant visits to monitor his weight, then several baby related problems ( colics, stuffed nose, bad cold, fever, TERRIBLE teething ...etc). I got PND as I already had depression with my first and it was awful this time round with 0 support. My husband started a new job one month before I gave birth and I don’t see him until 8 pm.

We used to go on two holidays every year with my first child, even in his first year which seems like a fantasy now. DC2 hates sitting, shopping, being around new people or being in the pram for more than 20 minutes. It’s making life so hard as I do everything in the house now that I’m a SAHM. He will scream blue murder if I make him sit in a train or at the doctor’s for example. I can only imagine what will happen if we go on a holiday.

My husband said that we do need a holiday and wanted to book something for next half term. I’m so worried that we will not be able to enjoy it with our toddler being constantly grumpy. My eldest is utterly lovely and well behaved, so we want to treat him to nice places where he can have fun but I don’t want to pay for places where we can’t stay for more than 30 minutes before the screaming of the little one starts!

I’m desperate for any advice or ideas of mums who went through the same thing.

OP posts:
LaCitrouille · 02/01/2020 22:37

No one went through the same thing?

OP posts:
Ohyesiam · 02/01/2020 22:42

How is he in a backpack type carrier? That’s how we did holidays and days out. But driving was a real problem.

SlB09 · 02/01/2020 22:46

I have one of those, honestly he's just chilling out at 2 1/2. Best thing I did was to stop trying and let him be him with all his 'perks' and he's definitely much more secure/confident in himself and happier to do all the things you've mentioned. Maybe just abit more time?

AnxiousandExcited · 02/01/2020 22:50

Is it possible to figure out what bothers him about these sort of trips? If it is sensory overload, anxiety etc or if it is a behavioral issue? It isn't really normal behavior for a 17 month old, I don't think. If you can get to the root of the problems your life may get a lot easier quickly. The colic, bad teething etc may all come from the same root cause. I had a child with Sensory Processing Issues and I wonder if yours might have some SPD too? Maybe check out www.spdstar.org/basic/symptoms-checklist
Wishing you much luck!

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