To think I'm too fat to wear jeans at 14 stone?

[Iwant2wearjeans]

I have been avoiding going out for 3 years now, I would always decline invitations and isolated myself because of my weight. I used to be 22 stone, now I’m 14 stone and have been losing weight slowly since 2016.

I still haven’t socialised, I keep saying to myself I’ll do that once I reach my target weight which is 9stone. When I reach my target weight I’ll buy lots of clothes, makeup and go out. That’s what I tell myself all the time.

AIBU to think just fuck it, buy some nice clothes/makeup and go out and connect with my old friends?

I have been stuck like this for 3-4 years now, not going out, making excuses even things like sitting in a restaurant I can’t do. I’m too self conscious to sit and eat in a restaurant.

I still wear dresses/skirts, and I’m not confident enough to wear jeans which I’d love to do.

Would love to hear from people who’ve been in my situation. Ive isolated myself for so long, I don’t even know how to put makeup on anymore.

Buy some dark jeans, straight legged with some give in them. M&S do some really forgiving cuts and fabrics. Add a top that is cut in the most flattering way for you, in a colour that makes you feel good and a style and fabric you feel really comfortable in. Then accept the next invitation, knowing this is your outfit.
I went to a party before Christmas where the most beautifully dressed woman in the room was size 18-20. I plucked up courage to ask where she got her top as it looked so fantastic on her.

I think jeans are fine. I also think you should definitely say fuck it, treat yourself to some clothes and makeup and get out there and start living your life! You've done excellent so far, just so you know, too. But don't be sidelined in your own life, it is not worth it.

I gained crazy weight after having my 2 daughters back to back. I had to make the decision to push out of my comfort zone and get into a bathing suit and have a blast with them in pools, waterparks, etc. I am so glad I did. Look around, there are plenty of fat people enjoying life, I don't think they stick out. I'm not saying you're fat, either, just that if you were, you still deserve fun.

Believe me, the idea of being seen in a swimsuit was horrifying to me, but soon enough I lost myself in having fun. My kids had a better childhood because of it. Definitely not saying to stop getting healthy and working on yourself, just don't put everything on hold meanwhile

Jeans are brilliant at holding everything in. Better than shapewear.
Get the whole outfit, and some M&S jeans so you don't worry about spending on them and finding they are too big. The right shoes (browse the mags and displays) and a floaty tunic top.. you will look great. Please don't wait until you are 9st.. you've done so well.. get some outfits you can feel good in now. Chuck out all your old clothes. The sales are on.

I'm loads bigger than you and I wear jeans.

I'm 5 ft 8 and when I was 14 stone I thought I looked good in jeans.

Buy the jeans OP. Next do some nice ones that lift and flatter. I 100% guarantee all your friends will be focusing on your 8st weight loss, not the weight you haven't lost yet.

I am 13st, size 16 and not only wear jeans but also riding jodpurs (real ones not fashion ones, usually muddy) as well. I have also bought myself a couple of pairs of leggings (Adidas and Nike ones) and fully intend to wear those for the school run etc.

Well you could be dead before you’re 9stone! Who know what’s around the corner. Embrace life now and be proud of how far you’ve come.

Wow, congrats on your weight loss. But as a pp said, you're life is happening now, and you're sitting at home hiding from it.

Buy some cool clothes, and go out and rock them. It's time.

My friend is fatter than you are now - she wears jeans. Why on earth not?

Amazing weight loss, well done!

AIBU to think just fuck it, buy some nice clothes/makeup and go out and connect with my old friends?

Yes yes YES! Totally do that.
You have done really well, you’ve lost so much weight.

I’m About your weight, and I wear jeans. I’m an Apple so my legs are okish, but I have lots of fat that hangs over the top, so I have to be really careful what I wear them with, but I do it.
Make the most of yourself so that you can feel as confident as possible, go out with people who you feel secure and happy to be around. No competitive nasty types and go for it.

You tube is brilliant for Make up tutorials and product recommendations.

I was looking at photos from 20 years ago when I thought I was “ way too fat” and I looked good, I’d love to look like that now.
I bet you look a whole lot better than you think you do.
People like us with bad body image need to remember that, and were also need to forgive ourselves for not being super human.
It’s really ok to be “good enough”X

Sounds like you've done amazing OP, I have fallen into the trap before of 'ill be happy and buy nice stuff when I hit x weight'. But I was the same as you and thought screw it, and bought a few bits in the size I was (only a few as was still hoping to reach a healthy weight), but being happier and more confident in myself really helped to lose the rest. Not sure why, but I would definitely get some nice bits now, and if you feel comfortable in jeans then yes definitely!

Ps try M&S and Next for jeans. I took about 30 pairs into the changing room at M&S before Christmas, and about the 28th worked!

I am a lot bigger than you and I’m wearing jeans. Just about to go swimming outside in a bikini because I couldn’t find my costume. Heated outdoor pool in U.K.

I'm bigger than you and I live in jeans.

Fuck that shit! Being 9st won't magically make you happy! There's no reason you can't enjoy like whilst getting to your goal! I'm 20st a size 20 & 5ft6 and I wear jeans & shock horror a high waisted bikini on holiday!

Life is for living & that's not conditional on your size/weight/age etc!

Congrats on doing so well but live what you have now

Try and get out of the mindset that because you’re fat you don’t deserve to spend money on nice clothing. You do. You absolutely do.

And I’m another who is bigger than you and I’m literally wearing jeans right now

If you want good jeans I really recommend Spanx jeans (go up to a size 28), simply B (up to a size 32), Asda (up to a size 26)

Key is shape and weight of the denim. I'm an hourglass shape so high waisted, straight leg & dark denim works best for me. Pointed shoes/boots make my legs look longer (I'm a short leg & I like my legs to look longer)

Asda jeggings. Size 20. Indigo denim. I don't think I look bad? (Happy to be corrected but I won't care )

Ladies, where do you buy your jeans? And what cut? I never know what will suit me (size 20, 5'3)
OP you have done AMAZING in your weight loss, good for you, wish i had your willpower

Levi’s 311 (skinny) and 314 (straight) are just the comfiest jeans ever, and come in standard waist sizes but also in plus sizes. I went and tried them on in the Levi’s store but actually bought them on eBay as brand new with tags at about half price. The plus size ones come up big, I’m size 18 in clothes but the 16 in the Levi’s plus size fit me lovely x

You just need to find a flattering pair, I'm skinny and look awful in some styles!!!!

I have always found that to diet successfully I need to love myself. That is wearing clothes I like and doing what I like within reason.
Go for it op. I live in jeans just as much now at 12 stone as I did at 16 stone.

@hostesstrolley tell us more!!!!

I bet you rock jeans! how tall are you?

You nearly lost a whole ME's worth of weight that's incredible!

I'm 8.5 stone and you wouldn't believe it to look at me. I need to lose another stone at least and cannot be bothered! I don't like exercise it's because I'm petite and 5'2. Skinny jeans look hideous on me, they show up rolls and I look so stumpy. I WISH I was taller!

You are never too fat to wear lovely clothes! And at 14 stone, you can rock any pair of jeans. I wear them at just over 16 stone. I wore them at nearly 19 stone. Just wear what you like and feel comfortable and confident in.

Also, there's a great mumsnet thread here Plus size what are you wearing which is lovely and encouraging and inspiring.

wea the jeans! matalan do amazing high waisted jeans !

confidence boostersthey are - cheap too!