AIBU to take time off work to visit suicidal adult dd?

[whatisforteamum]

The early hours of the other night I get a call from dd.She left home 3 years ago and built herself a nice life.She was in tears saying she didn't want to live anymore.I was unaware she was so depressed.We both work shifts and have been extremely busy.I knew her landlord was selling her home which is the final straw for her.
I informed my work and after I knew she was safe in A and E and received help I went to work as it was NYE.
One of my managers asked if I should be there as I looked like crap myself understandably.
Dd lives over 200 miles away and my own anxiety means I can only see her if Dh takes me as public transport is too much for me.
This would involve being off the weekend.I am worried sick about her and guilty I hadn't realized she was struggling so much.
Where do I stand regarding family emergencies? I have worked there almost 3 years and has minimal sick days.We are quiet at work now.
Sorry for the depressing question.

I took emergency leave when my son was suffering with crippling anxiety. My boss was very understanding and gave me the time off on full pay without having to use my annual leave. I did offer to take it as holiday or unpaid leave. They also gave me time off as needed to go to his CBT sessions with him. He is a child though so I appreciate your situation is different, but I’d expect them to do the same if someone’s adult child needed them.
I am sorry to hear your poor DD is struggling like this and it must be awful for you too

Hey mumee yes very different for 22 year old.However no was worrying that she is hundreds of miles.away and my anxiety prevents me travelling far.I cant.even catch a bus to go shopping.To the outside world I am a hard working mum of two.I find social situations too hard so I am quite isolated.
Sorry to hear about your ds.Lovely that your workplace.were.supportive.

Thank you OP. I too will wish you and your DD all the best for 2020.

I think it might be a good idea to see if your DD would come home to you for a couple weeks so that you can evaluate how things are.

I suppose that New Year could be a very common tipping point for mental health crises. Obviously those exams, major decisions that were next year's obstacles are suddenly now THIS year, in a few months etc. I think that is at least partially what triggered my DD's meltdown over New Year. There are other things too, and we have talked about it, but the changeover of the year and the forced jollity that goes with it definitely hasn't helped.

I also think that this time of year can be very difficult in general. Short days and long nights plus the weather is often shit. It is only 4.40pm at the moment and so dark it might as well be midnight.

Yes, it is hard to step back. I think I will be going with DD this week. I am also concerned about the transfer in a few months to adult MH services when she turns 18. We have been lucky with the young people's services and quite quickly got a therapist/counsellor that DD really liked and got on with. I hope we can be lucky again, but the system is struggling to cope round here.

I hope you and your DD can quickly access the help needed.

Who on earth thinks YABU?

Best wishes to you and your daughter OP.

My D d has just seen her own Gp.They have finally listened after 7 months and upped both of her meds.d
I'm certain she is coming here next week as.She had holiday planned.I do too but may need to add this weekend or get signed off the other couple of days to concentrate on her as I don't get home until 1030.
A
Am my life I have struggled in the winter this is the first year I have felt ok.
There is a pressure on young adults to cope with everything and I have never.seen her cry....I rarely do either that perhaps all the long work hours and losing her home is too much in her anxious state.
People who haven't had these issues don't understand.

It does sound like she's got a lot to cope with, and it's ok to need help with that. Life is stressful, and everyone needs support when things go wrong.

I'm glad your dd is going to come to stay with you for a little while. Some tlc from her mum sounds like just what she needs right now.

My dd is on the road to recovery thank you for asking. She's on anti depressants but is back at uni and enjoying this year so much more than last year! She'll get there, and so will your dd, especially now you know how bad she's been feeling and can offer more support. Are you getting help for your anxiety as well? Please remember, once this immediate crisis is over, that your health (both physical and mental) is important too.

I am so sorry . The fact she is telling you is very good . It’s a cry for help and means she is aware there is an issue .

Get a good sleep and good luck with her recovery

Mrsawsomedragone yes I have had help for my anxiety however I was.so tired and down from working so much I didn't get to do the homework set.A lot of my depression and anxiety has been helped by HRT which I wish I had been given 2 years before!!
If my DH was more loving it would help.I know she will get through this crisis which is why it is nice being older as we know bad times will come and eventually go.I am glad your DD is on the right track now and with your support and the meds has turned the corner 😊