Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be pissed off, DH and allergies

8 replies

woodenhelicopter · 02/01/2020 08:32

I have allergies. DH has witnessed the reactions during all the tests I had years ago, witnesses me taking medication and struggling on a daily basis at the moment. Yet still seems to give no shits in helping me.

My asthma has taken a horrible turn over the last few weeks since having a virus, I've had 2 frightening asthma attacks this week alone which he has also witnessed and today he fucks off to work leaving all the windows open at 6.30am, (forgot to close them after airing the house apparently), knowing the cold air is a massive trigger whilst I'm ill.
Sprays his deodorant in the hallway (also huge trigger whilst I'm unwell) instead of shut away in the bathroom.

Left a fuck ton of condensation on the windows when opening the blinds and all he has to do is use the window karcher thing which takes all of 5 seconds, when we don't do this mould gets on the walls (also a trigger for my allergies), and doesn't ever just press the on button on the dehumidifier.

Regularly fluffs the bed up before bed which involves chucking the duvet aggressively into the air several times, which means a ton of dust is thrown up in the air....again kicks off a reaction right before bed.

I do so much for him and he can't even do/not do a few basic simple tasks that really affect my health. If it was the other way around I would support him and help any way I can. It just feels like he doesn't give a shiny shit, he's an intelligent man who manages to hold down a decent job and remembers important daily tasks to do with work but can't seem to remember a few basic things for me.

AIBU?

OP posts:
madeyemoodysmum · 02/01/2020 08:36

He sounds awful op.

Is he as uncaring in other ways?

I have allergies (not life threatening luckily)! Currently my hand has swollen up due to a reaction and I've taken anti histamine My Dh has been great. I'm supposed to be helping in the loft today but he has said take it easy.

Some people think allergies are attention seeking How is he if your poorly with a virus for example?

RhiWrites · 02/01/2020 08:41

Asthma can be lethal. Is he trying to kill you?

YANBU. Is he in other respects a decent partner? If so I’d suggest a serious conversation, possibly with a counsellor. If he isn’t then I’d worry he genuinely is trying to hurt you.

woodenhelicopter · 02/01/2020 08:52

Thanks for your replies. He isn't massively uncaring in other ways, I think just sleep deprived (as am I) and selfish at the moment.

Very much leaves the mental load on my shoulders with regards to everything so I think it's just another thing he leaves on the list for me to do again because he's "forgetful" Hmm it's a regular argument and I'm losing patience to be honest.

You wouldn't think he is so crap if you met him and I'm sure his colleagues would be shocked he's like that at home.

OP posts:
Icanflyhigh · 02/01/2020 09:00

I sort of get what you are saying, but it does sound a bit like he can't do it right because he always does it wrong.....

You've said he has left all the windows open after airing the house, but also that if he leaves condensation on the windows then mould sets in. You can't have it both ways.

I get you have allergies, I get that things exacerbate your asthma, but it does sound to me like the man is at least attempting to help and you're being a bit of a martyr to it by constantly telling him he is wrong for
how he is doing it....

madcatladyforever · 02/01/2020 09:02

Print a list of what you just told us in very large print preferably on A3 paper at a print shop and stick a copy of it in every damned room in the house.

Emmapeeler1 · 02/01/2020 09:02

My DH is pretty rubbish with asthma and allergies too. Doesn’t make any effort to understand it at all despite DD having asthma.

Are you on a steroid inhaler out of interest? My asthma nurse said if what I was taking wasn’t working there are others you can try.

EKGEMS · 02/01/2020 11:57

I did xolair injections for twelve years and my lung function tests are normal now. It entailed two shots every four weeks and helped me so much!
I don't know why your husband needs aerosol deodorant to begin with! I'd ask him if he would enjoy being underwater with an empty oxygen tank because that's what asthma attack feels like.

ActualHornist · 02/01/2020 12:00

YANBU.

But all those sound very much like a man running late for work, rather than a concerted effort to NOT take your allergies into consideration.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.