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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Holiday date- AIBU

27 replies

Polarbearshare · 02/01/2020 00:20

Been offered a free holiday next year with my family. Due to DC attending a childminders we are limited to the dates that we can do and we have to take holidays when she takes hers (not enough annual leave to take different dates).

Anyway, there is a week that works but the problem is we would be travelling on DDs birthday (flight early hours so travelling all day). DH is arguing that this won't work as his family will have to see DD on her actual birthday. I don't understand why we can't just celebrate the day before. DD is too young to know what day it is so to me there is no reason that this would be an issue. DH wants to delay and travel the following day but I think this is stupid as we are missing out on a day (plus flight times aren't as good).
Before anyone says this is not an excuse on DH's part because he doesn't want to go away with my family, they get on really well and he wants to go and has tried to make other weeks work. It genuinely is just the issue of DDs birthday and what the in laws will say. My family are much more laidback and this wouldn't bother us at all if it was the other way around so I don't know if my perspective is skewed.

OP posts:
BackforGood · 02/01/2020 00:24

He is being ridiculous.
Doesn't matter what day you celebrate on.

Floralnomad · 02/01/2020 00:25

Your dh is being ridiculous .

wineandroses1 · 02/01/2020 00:31

As above; DH = ridiculous

OhMyDarling · 02/01/2020 00:33

Free holiday= go!!!!!!
He’s being silly, maybe suggest next year his family take you all away on dds birthday so then it’s fair.

Legocitymyarse · 02/01/2020 00:36

What age is she?

KC225 · 02/01/2020 00:36

Your DH is being silly. Take the free holiday

rainbowlou · 02/01/2020 00:43

I get this every year with my family demanding they see my dc on their actual birthday, then getting upset if we have plans (like school Hmm), it drives me mad!
You will really regret not going on the holiday and will resent them for it.

Weffiepops · 02/01/2020 00:48

Dh is being unreasonable, my family often see my dc the weekend before or after their birthday as we live 30 miles away so don't always see them on the actual day. Birthday celebrations can last over the course of a week or so can't they?

CalmdownJanet · 02/01/2020 00:58

Yep ridiculous

Mummyshark2019 · 02/01/2020 01:01

Your husband is being silly. Go and celebrate the birthday the day before.

YummyChipCurryDip · 02/01/2020 01:09

Ridiculously unreasonable and unreasonably ridiculous. I hope it's not his parents who are pushing this.

Iggi999 · 02/01/2020 01:10

Free holiday with the in laws is not everyone's idea of a good time. Maybe he's making an excuse?

northernknickers · 02/01/2020 09:57

He's being a complete arse!

So many grandparents never see their grandchildren on their actual birthday! It is rare indeed these dats that families even live close enough for regular contact! Until a few years ago, I lived overseas with my children...my parents saw them twice a year!

northernknickers · 02/01/2020 09:58

'days' 😂

bigchris · 02/01/2020 10:00

Your dh needs to put you and dd before his family

GiveHerHellFromUs · 02/01/2020 10:01

He's being daft but it's because he'll get grief from his family that DD gets to spend her birthday with them and not him.

Organise a 'birthday party' for the Saturday before would be my suggestion. That way IL's can give presents etc and don't need to see her on her birthday.

NoSauce · 02/01/2020 10:02

Will is parents kick off if they don’t see DD on her actual birthday? I suppose he’s thinking that your parents get to see DD on her birthday so his should too. Although that’s a bit ridiculous imo.

Chamomileteaplease · 02/01/2020 10:02

Even if his family do want to see her on her birthday, it is up to your dh not to pander to them and for him himself to behave in a not ridiculous manner by enabling them.

I would be so frustrated if I were you. I really hope you can get him to see sense.

Ponoka7 · 02/01/2020 10:34

Another one saying it's ridiculous. As she grows and is at school then has plans with friends, they will have to be satisfied with celebrating on a different day.

bridgetreilly · 02/01/2020 11:01

A birthday is just a day. His family don't need to see her on that specific day. They can see her and give presents and eat cake another day. Have your holiday.

Whatsthesmell · 02/01/2020 16:21

Dh is being daft. If he still moans take charge and next time you see pil just say oh on for dd's birthday best come on the Xday as my family have paid a holiday for us and we leave early hours. We're really excited about having a family holiday. Then they have plenty of time to "come to terms" with not seeing her on the day

CripsSandwiches · 02/01/2020 16:33

Does he just not want to go? If so he should just be honest. The birthday is no reason at all not to go, DD won't care just do it the day before with his family.

cstaff · 02/01/2020 16:53

Who is the child here. Sounds like it might be your husband. Ffs

Actionhasmagic · 02/01/2020 17:02

He’s being a wally

redwoodmazza · 02/01/2020 17:10

Go on holiday!!!

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